I tried a bow—it fell off the side,
The tape rolled away, and now it hides.
This gift’s a mess, but I’ve done my best,
Next year, I’m using gift bags instead!
Fold, cut, crumple, let’s end this fight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to tape—goodnight!
My daughter wanted an antique sword for christmas (she’s not like most other girls!)
Have you ever tried to wrap a fucking sword???
Christmas morning the paper will just be ripped off with no appreciation of the work I put in to wrapping that thing. 🗡️🎁
And the boys of the NYPD choir were singing Galway bay
But the sellotape just wouldn't stay
It was dank it was shitty, it wasn't very pretty
But the gifts, they were awkward, wrapping them was a torture, but if you use enough sellotape anything can be wrapped.
i was wrapping presents,used my teeth too cup the tape.Not sure how but i missed and bit my lip,fucking thing three days later is still numb.
I went to Nero for a coffee today,and was like a kif,spilling it down my top.
And i didnt win a free drink or stamp on there promotion thing,fuckers.
There is one fiendish creation which out-bastards sellotape, though - cling film. I HATE the bloody stuff. Whenever I need to deploy it, I do so with a mixture of trepidation & loathing!
Agreed- the double whammy of the bastard stuff sticking in a clammy ball by not perforating where required and the very real risk of perforating your knuckles.
Yep. I use a pencil or pen as a tapemark (similar to bookmark), but if this malfunctions it's 6 minutes of scratching a roll of tape with a fingernail, looking for that expense school tube
My husband wraps gifts like an origami master. He uses double-sided tape so you don’t even see it on the package. You can tell which packages I wrapped - the lumpy, bumpy ones.
I have the privilege of working for a true Christmas maestro. I was graciously invited one year to her family wrapping party. Some people just have it. They even did their own bows!
Seriously? Glue guns. Also if you use tissue and fasten it with wire garland (a lá twist tie) you can wrap just about anything – especially, if you crumple it up and then smooth it out first.
If you crumple your wrapping paper or tissue up and then smooth it out it somehow makes it more malleable and you can do all sorts of things with it and it has a distressed look and is actually pretty cool. You can layer the tissue with different colours at different angles, too. 👍🏼🥰
This is what you can accomplish with a glue gun. Prepare and fold the ends and then once it’s ready just hold it in all in place and put a few dots of glue and smooth it all into place before the glue dries.
I had to wrap a toy fucking airplane last night and am still gagged at what I had to do to get that fucker wrapped😂as you can tell from my foul language it was hard lmfao
Comments
The tape rolled away, and now it hides.
This gift’s a mess, but I’ve done my best,
Next year, I’m using gift bags instead!
Fold, cut, crumple, let’s end this fight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to tape—goodnight!
Throwing a fit cause the paper
Won’t fit
In a good old fashioned way
You might get a killing feeling in your heart
Beat the kids with boughs of holly
Why the fuck are they so jolly
There you go,
Brenda won’t mind ,
Have you ever tried to wrap a fucking sword???
Christmas morning the paper will just be ripped off with no appreciation of the work I put in to wrapping that thing. 🗡️🎁
But the sellotape just wouldn't stay
It was dank it was shitty, it wasn't very pretty
But the gifts, they were awkward, wrapping them was a torture, but if you use enough sellotape anything can be wrapped.
I went to Nero for a coffee today,and was like a kif,spilling it down my top.
And i didnt win a free drink or stamp on there promotion thing,fuckers.
It's sticking to my toes
It's sticking to my eyelids
And even to my nose..."
Best present ever!
This is why gift bags and gift tissue paper were made.
You can do it. It is SUPER easy and it looks beautiful, if I do say so myself.
*wrapping ptsd 😵💫