Co-signed. Also, maybe if the entire world were not directed at telling us that "sex is what makes us human" and we must want sex no matter what, we wouldn't feel the need to tell you that we don't want it. For me, saying I'm ace is no more oversharing than saying I don't like mustard. - ThreadSky

seananmcguire.bsky.social • 16 days ago

Co-signed.

Also, maybe if the entire world were not directed at telling us that "sex is what makes us human" and we must want sex no matter what, we wouldn't feel the need to tell you that we don't want it. For me, saying I'm ace is no more oversharing than saying I don't like mustard.

Reposted from John Wiswell

The thing about some popular author insulting asexual people is nothing she said hasn't been said *directly to me* before by other popular authors. The hatred of aces isn't new.

Fix your hearts. We're not leaving.

Comments

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

If you constantly put mustard on everything and then try to force me to eat it, or tell me that I'll want it someday, or say that I'm not really human if I don't want the mustard, yeah, I'm going to start bringing up the fact that I don't want mustard during unrelated conversations!

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

(Three points: Yes, I am asexual. Magic the Gathering is a lot more appealing than sex, period. Yes, my girlfriend knows and is fine with this. And yes, I loathe mustard. The taste makes me gag.)

publiusmaximus.bsky.social•16 days ago

I feel about ketchup the way you seem to feel about mustard.

humbob.bsky.social•16 days ago

We are extremely different people. I am pleased by this, as diversity is what makes life interesting. Also, you have a lot of empathy that allows you to tell a multitude of stories. Wouldn’t it be nice if people could extend a similar empathy to your experience?

jimmcd.bsky.social•16 days ago

I can’t even bear to have mustard touch my skin. It’s absolutely repellent and that needs to be acknowledged way more than it is.

Also your doorway series are tremendous. Thank you for them, and for this anti-mustard solidarity. ❤️

ninjinister.bsky.social•16 days ago

You might get some use out of this adapting it to MtG

kipwilliams.bsky.social•16 days ago

I at first thought this was going somewhere else, because there is an anecdote Frederic Wertham told where he advised a young person against reading comic books using an analogy of strong mustard. Jules Feiffer quotes it in THE GREAT COMIC BOOK HEROES.

kipwilliams.bsky.social•16 days ago

(And he goes in the exact opposite direction with it. Thought you'd be happy to know that part.)

thecraftybear.bsky.social•15 days ago

What a horrible take.
As a mustard fan i'm apalled.
/jk

alopexstudios.bsky.social•16 days ago

“You’ll like it if you try it” Mm, nope. Been there, done that. Doesn’t work for me. I’ve been married for over 20 years and had plenty of opportunities to figure that out. Wife knows and is fine with it.

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

Yup. And why is it weird if I hound you to learn and play Magic with me, but not weird for people to hound me about having sex?

alopexstudios.bsky.social•16 days ago

It has the same energy as “when are you going to have kids?”. Never. I like kids! I like them best when I can play with them and hand them back to their people. It’s not weird to know what you want for your own body. I wish other people would respect that instead of pretending they know better.

tcrmiller.bsky.social•16 days ago

Is it weird that I want to plead for mustard but not sex? I didn't realize how strongly i feel about mustard.

the-enigma-files.com•16 days ago

Fellow aces represent! :D

keytone8.bsky.social•16 days ago

This makes me so happy as an ace fan!

blackcatcrosses.bsky.social•16 days ago

As long as you don't insist on ketchup on hot dogs!!!

kithrup.bsky.social•16 days ago

... you don't like mustard?!??!

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

It's a vile horrible substance that is not food and should not come anywhere near me.

sharrow.bsky.social•16 days ago

kithrup.bsky.social•16 days ago

i ❤️ mustard

I switched from ketchup to mustard for fries because of how much sugar got put into ketchup, but I also have a nice supply of malt vinegar at home for them.

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

That's fine, sweetie. If you use too much, we'll have to sit farther apart at lunch, but that's all.

rigg.lgbt•16 days ago

I like mustard AND sex but I don't labour under the delusion that everybody shares my tastes. Surely it's easier to ask people what they like, and respect that they're telling you truly, rather than just assume everybody has the same tastes as you?

Maybe I'm weird though.

rigg.lgbt•16 days ago

Mind you, PROPER mustard that makes your eyes water, not that weird gloopy tasteless stuff Americans put on hotdogs. I don't like THAT.
https://bsky.app/profile/paulhaine.bsky.social/post/3lk56an2bqc2s

enigmasystem03.bsky.social•16 days ago

I mean, not all mustard has to be spicy either, tbf. Like, a good Hausmachersenf is just delicious in its own right. (yes, I know this is utterly tangential to the original point being made)

phillyhart4.bsky.social•16 days ago

This feels like 'oh, you'll want kids when you're older'. Some people *might*, but many definitely won't. They just know. I think the same happens to neurodivergents. People can't or won't believe others want / are / think differently than the majority does. I wonder why it threatens them so much?

phillyhart4.bsky.social•16 days ago

And mustard. I agree. Ew. Even the 'good' English kind.

angrrychair.bsky.social•16 days ago

My quick story/support here (tiny thread?) -
https://bsky.app/profile/angrrychair.bsky.social/post/3lmcs54e2h22p

nocatsnomasters.bsky.social•16 days ago

I am an absolute _font_ of opinions about sex and other people's sexualities. I actually studied it as an undergrad! It's a thing one can do and I did it!

And _even I_ cannot fathom having a strong opinion about ace people. The entire idea of getting _actively upset_ by ace people is deranged.

seananmcguire.bsky.social•16 days ago

The mold that's consuming her home made her do it, I guess.

ajlanes.bsky.social•16 days ago

I bet it sits there complaining she gives opisthokonts a bad name.

thethinblackduke.bsky.social•16 days ago

Constructing hateful ideological mountains out of molehills is one of the bennies of privilege, I guess. I'm old enough to remember when dreadlocks were a harbinger of [White] American's decline.

nocatsnomasters.bsky.social•16 days ago

We'll know it's the mold if she starts complaining about diploids and their constant harping on how they refuse to reproduce by endospory.

drainbead.bsky.social•16 days ago

I don't understand the concept of hating asexual people. I assumed that aces get a lot of microaggressions and erasure, similar to what bi-pan-omni folks have to deal with, but outright hate just because someone is wired to not want sex? Why is that anyone else's business? Who is harmed?

humblewooper.bsky.social•16 days ago

IMO for some folks they're "harmed" when their ego is "attacked" (given a reality check) by not having a chance with us when they think they should. Whether or not they were actually interested, they always assume they have a shot if they want it.

drainbead.bsky.social•16 days ago

Yeah, the only answer I could think of was that they were angry incels who are pissed off that people don't want the thing that they want and can't have.

masinger.bsky.social•16 days ago

Imo, it's because our not wanting sex, and being happy with that, makes people who are unhappy in their sexual relationships feel personally insulted. "I put up with my shifty partner so I can have sex and you're okay without it? How dare you!"

masinger.bsky.social•16 days ago

*shitty*

Typing too fast, sorry

masinger.bsky.social•16 days ago

Especially if they believe everyone "naturally" wants sex. Then they think we're lying to them, and that makes us bad people bc we don't trust them enough to admit we secretly want sex and are upset that we're not having any.

shadowmaster13.bsky.social•16 days ago

There's a lot of religious stuff about resisting temptation and how this is the punishment for sin, saying nope not tempted that way makes them have to prove us liars or re-evaluate their beliefs

masinger.bsky.social•16 days ago

Perhaps you mean "Christian religious stuff?"

Because I'm Jewish and temptation works differently for us. No original sin here, for instance.

shadowmaster13.bsky.social•16 days ago

Character count concerns. But you're right. It's not all Christian denominations, but it is a *Christian* religious thing

spaceturtleart.bsky.social•16 days ago

I hate the "sex is what makes us human" line. So many species have sex! Most of them, in fact! That's not what makes humans special.

shvetathakrar.bsky.social•16 days ago

Not just that, but why would THAT be the thing that makes anyone special? Not creativity, not kindness, not (good) technological advances, not caring for one another?

We really need to start teaching both critical thinking and compassion again.

spaceturtleart.bsky.social•16 days ago

I'd make a strong argument for art or music as a thing that Makes Us Human, but I suppose if society believed that, they might actually respect artists.

zerocard.bsky.social•16 days ago

Next year she’s going after bisexuals because her kink seems to be all about dismissing people who are clearly “indecisive”. Demisexual, here.

lyzz.bsky.social•16 days ago

She's also just rehashing ancient Tumblr discourse so that would definitely track.

majuuorthrus.bsky.social•16 days ago

"Sex is what makes us human" and yet the vast majority of animal species engage in some form of shagging

dvandom.bsky.social•16 days ago

Like, ace is the epitome of "they're not hurting anyone, it's not my problem." And yet, some people cannot ever say "it's not my problem." And then they make it everyone's problem.

nicvic.bsky.social•16 days ago

It was because of your book I figured out I was ace. Thank you. The representation changed my life.

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