When the Boomers would threaten us "I'll give you something to cry about" when we were kids, what they really meant was the general state they were going to leave the world 30 years later
"Ironically" being an asshole was easily one of the worst tendencies i learned as a teenage boy in the 2000s. Turns out it's just being an asshole with a thin layer of rationalization on top.
It’s basically setting a boundary and them immediately not taking it seriously, it’s especially bad on social media because it’s usually someone who hasn’t earned the right to act so familiar.
The familiarity is key. Speaking for myself only here but my husband can say things to me others would never be allowed to b/c 1) Respectful long term relationship & 2) I know his values. Similar jokes from anyone else would be unacceptable.
And even when people have earned the right to joke with you like that, there are some lines they still shouldn’t cross. Knowing and respecting where those lines are is how they earn the right in the first place.
This! I unfortunately used to do this (I’ve since unlearned it) because I thought it was funny, and learned the hard way how much it hurts others. Once I started to really understand boundaries, I realized a lot of people I looked up to also did this to me, and had to reevaluate some relationships
Same here. I have social anxiety and it often manifests as sarcasm, once I got out into the world there were a few times it rightfully got me into trouble. Learned my lesson pretty quick, fortunately most of the people around me were patient.
At the risk of seeming like a male doing an ironic thing, can you give an illustrative example? I wasn't aware this was a thing, or maybe I am aware but didn't know it was a thing.
A woman complains that when she posts videos of herself competing in sports and men reply with " get in the kitchen make me a sandwich" and a man replies with "make me a sandwich! Ha ha just kidding!"
Oh I thought that was just being an asshole. I didn't know it was an entire lifestyle. Reminds me of this Elayne Boosler bit I saw when I was a kid where she talks about walking along with a guy--ANY guy--and he suddenly jumps up to hit an awning or something. Dunno why it reminds me of that.
even when it's something more innocuous, like, "i hate when people issue corrections to my jokes" and all the replies are "ACTUALLY..." --- it's grating and wearing and irritating beyond measure
Example:
"Old-fashioned language bothers me."
Commenter: "Forsooth milady, wherefore does it vex you?"
I confess I have the impulse fairly often (it's an easy joke setup) but try to always quash it. Because it's not funny outside of sitcoms, it's just making a real person's day worse on purpose.
There’s a certain kind of guy who goes through life (successfully!) convincing everyone he’s funny, and the older I get the more I’m just like “no, that guy is a dick who smiles while doing dickish things”. That guys does this. ALWAYS.
same. I think the thing that probably got me to start with stopping was being asked (and actually considering) who it was for. okay, funny joke ha ha. But like, the only guaranteed audience of a reply is the person I'm replying to, and they just said they didn't like it. So who am I performing for?
Yeah, same. What ultimately got me to stop was just looking at the other replies before posting my own. Inevitably, there would be at least three or four other people posting exactly what I was planning to say. And suddenly, it seemed a lot less funny...
Comments
For a preview, swish some water, then some vinegar in your mouth.
Should give you an idea without wrecking your guts in a way that doesn't last forever, it just feels like it's lasting forever.
Including one* of the people you justifiably pointed it out to.
*Probably more I can't read it all, fucking hell a lot of people did that in response.
I feel like it’s a low-key way to get women to stop talking about things that annoy them, honestly. Because it just results in more of the behavior.
I've seen that happen more than once.
"Old-fashioned language bothers me."
Commenter: "Forsooth milady, wherefore does it vex you?"
I confess I have the impulse fairly often (it's an easy joke setup) but try to always quash it. Because it's not funny outside of sitcoms, it's just making a real person's day worse on purpose.
And when you call them out on it they act like they were being so charming 😒
When a dude says or does something nasty, and then decides whether it was a "joke" or not based on the reaction from people around him.
Those replies still come to mind, but it's been a while since I hit post on that particular idiocy.