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askatewouldhaveit.com
Shopping editor, silk pillowcase user, Fresca aficionado, Oxford comma elitist. I haven’t seen Pulp Fiction. Please stop asking. Socially, I’m here📍 bit.ly/askatewouldhaveit My Memoirs🫱 bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ebyy25rvm4tkzn2mmoqtixci/feed/aaad5i3med2t4
74 posts 111 followers 196 following
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Posts 47 Comments 3

ok I found it (the most sociopathic book)

submitted 10 hours ago • 3 comments

A dating show where they continue to give a couple money and clothes and cars and food as long as they keep moving forward in their relationship but also one of them has to wear increasingly ridiculous hats

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

"sir, we're getting intel that the polar bears are still just kinda chillin in the snow"

submitted 6 hours ago • 7 comments

Never realized how often I let my dog sniff items I’m holding just because I want him to feel included.

submitted 2 days ago • 31 comments

It's very normal to have a stack of T-shirts you can't leave the house in but are the best

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The sky looked kinda aesthetic so I forgave myself for everything I’ve ever done

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

LTK’d and blacked out again

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

may the 4pm be with you

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

goose girlfriend gander boyfriend

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to teach this spiral ham to go down the stairs like a slinky

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments

Its swimsuit season, I whisper, eating another swimsuit

submitted 7 days ago • 24 comments

probably everyone who invented a time machine went back in time, landed in an ocean and drowned. because of the plate tectonics.

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

bros is it gay to prevent airborne respiratory illness

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I shushed a noisy goose and it stopped honking but I feel like a jerk

submitted 4 days ago • 8 comments

Mentally I’m in a google doc I never titled

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Body: Tummy hort Me: Oh no why Body: Easy, no food in it Me: Okay, I will eat food Body: Tummy hort Me: Why now? Body: Food in it

submitted 5 days ago • 9 comments

what if you were naming your child and the doctor said sorry that names already taken

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

Gary Buseys morning routine is yodeling off a balcony, putting on a Hawaiian shirt, then ripping off the Hawaiian shirt

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Kids in 1991:

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Is bitcoin part of Minecraft

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Never tell your date that in the moonlight she looks like a young Ron Perlman just trust me on this okay.

submitted 6 days ago • 5 comments

[Announcer Voice] Tired of putting clothes away like some kind of organized adult? Introducing: Chairdrobe™ - the revolutionary furniture-laundry hybrid that’s definitely not just a chair covered in clothes.

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

Her: what r u thinking about Me: [Ducktales theme song in head] how much i love u

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

You'd think seeing a walking fedora wearing two ball caps would be funny... But it's not. It's not.

submitted 5 days ago • 5 comments

sucks to know people you meet could actually be evil. like if theyre racist or they like to eat licorice

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

If your name is Irma I don’t believe you

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

IF WE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE TOO CLOSE TO THE MICROWAVE WHY DO THEY SHOW US OUR FOOD TWIRLING AROUND IN THERE

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

Because if I wanted someone to confidently make up answers to my questions I would simply ask a man

submitted 7 days ago • 83 comments

can you die of too much news

submitted 29 days ago • 108 comments

CAT: can I go outside? ME: why? CAT: to eat some grass ME: why? CAT: to puke on your carpet ME: why? CAT: for the lols

submitted 7 days ago • 5 comments

I’ve fought tougher hammocks

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

BABIES SNEEZE??????

submitted 7 days ago • 26 comments

I try to stay away from making political jokes which is a shame because I have some great Teddy Roosevelt speaking softly and carrying a big stick through TSA material.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Phone Alert: Bank of America purchase made for $23.92 Me, peaceful: Wonder what that’s for

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Honey bluesky is down I need you to validate everything I say 12 times

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

Guys guys there’s no pope today we can totally crank it

submitted 8 days ago • 33 comments

girls just want to have fun and by fun i mean shoot lightning out of our fingertips

submitted 8 days ago • 12 comments

*Sam Elliott voice* Sometimes you get jiggy with it and sometimes the jiggy, well, it gets you.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

We need to come together and meaningfully incorporate rice into breakfast

submitted 9 days ago • 55 comments

me: my bff asked me if i would spend so much time on twitter (which is what she calls bluesky) if i had a bf & i said bitch (which is what i call her), imma write a tweet (which is what i call a post) about this my fake internet bf: what

submitted 8 days ago • 8 comments

the sun could blow up right now and we wouldn’t know it for 8 minutes, so i’m not doing any work just in case

submitted 8 days ago • 13 comments

The first person to discover that sticking your hand inside a Muppet brings it to life must have been so scared.

submitted 96 days ago • 45 comments

Please share so I can get this message to wife I cut off my hair and I rode straight away for the wild unknown country where I could not go wrong but do not have phone thanks

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

if you know a lot of stuff i think it is your moral duty to be kind and excited when people learn stuff for the first time. the world is full of stuff we don't know about, don't be mean

submitted 10 days ago • 144 comments

All of human existence can be split into 2 eras: before and after the release of Wooly Bully

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Smut romances would be sexier if they started each scene with the information that everyone had just washed their hands with soap and water

submitted 9 days ago • 4 comments

In 1987 there was no bigger threat to your safety than getting caught touching the rain lamp in your grandmother’s formal living room

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments