bernardinpete.bsky.social
Low-level woke mobster, they gave me a nerf tommygun.
he/him
182 posts
126 followers
547 following
Discussion Master
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I have reviewed my JAQ-questions as a neutral observer and determined that they are unanswerable, therefore I win. For I am not just the VP, I also took that Shadi guy's course on how to referee your own debates
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Opinion: the people calling the bad things Bad are boringly repetitive and also - plot twist - they don't know the half of it, it's actually worse! Clever, amirite?
- The Atlantic
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I will bravely suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous media attacks on behalf of our FBI agents, without being all weirdly dramatic about it of course
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We seem to have a general problem with people thinking they are doing The Serious Science by vaguely recalling something from a high-school biology class which they maybe passed with a C-
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Opinion: why actual government censorship, which I do not support, will never be as serious as the metaphorical censorship of liberals still laughing at my famously unintentional comedy
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In hindsight the Trump University scam-offer to pose for a photo with him is looking sort of benign now. Looking back wistfully to the days of ordinary two-bit scumbaggery
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Honestly it was all my fault, he asked me how I slept and I just blurted out "Bari Weiss is bad!!!", spitting croissant crumbs everywhere, so naturally I had to be de-chateau'd. C'est dommage.
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Nine Tax Cuts were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else, desire powerboats. But they were all of them deceived
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Plot twist in the new version, the "any questions?" ending is now answered by a kid asking "where get egg?"
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In this New Jersey McMansion, ordinary Americans are relieved that Donald Trump has restored their Cybertruck's constitutional right to park on Manhattan sidewalks.
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Despite some people's best efforts the spread of Distraction-Savviness has not yet been contained
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Hang on I just need to check this against my giant war table-map of Canada that I have in a normal way
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They'll want to put a bunch of Punisher logos on the drones so they can max out on Not Getting the Story
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Look I'm not thrilled that the president is a god-emperor but please remember in these trying times that he's on my side of a petty provincial feud, and I think that's neat
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I'm told the beautiful people there really like hearing about your screenplay that you've almost written
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You see there's another executive order saying "Preznit owns the Constitution now" so they have this covered
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This seems to be a new take on "accidentally", the arbitrary firings become accidents retrospectively once the Finding Out happens
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He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their children at night. Rat on your pop, and an insufferable dork will want to talk to you
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Sounds like somebody joked to him "hey it would be a blue state amirite" and he decided he could just daydream some News Reporting, easy day at the office
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I think I learned that Meta is where miserable topics are turned into miserably bad comedy so we are adjusting the settings of the misery a bit
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He talks about it like it's just charging transaction fees that will all come out in the wash, seems to be unfamiliar with the part of the economy where you actually provide goods so you need somewhere to ship them.
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I think if they say the right things about Elon he might just vouch for them, what does it mean to be a real employee of this thing anyway
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If there's a rule that the Border Czar has to know how to use his words like at least an average third-grader then AOC should be safe.
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They should embrace the spirit of the moment by making strictly hate-ads trashing their competitors' AI, this would also allow them to say some things that are true
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As a tech-savvy AI knower I always sit under a little canopy during a torrential downpour for a more gradual soaking.
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If Harris were there as president they'd be posting photos of her and saying she caused the woke halftime show. In this timeline we just get the weak-sauce "nevermind the president" version.
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I presume some of these words are meant to modify each other in some way
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The new signs are a bit long: End Jokes Calling White People Crackers, Then Maybe Get to Other Stuff.
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Finally an inspirational story where Mr. Potter gets to run the whole town and George Bailey just dies in a hole somewhere, unlike that woke version
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In these trying times the republic needs good citizens to pay attention to how bold and audacious all the crimes are
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Paying $25k/month in interest to make sure he always gets the gold-plated table at the airport lounge. This is what qualifies him to work in this administration.
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Piers Morgan seemed to think this was his own little catchphrase. I think he's pretty well shunned already these days but you can never be too careful
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My fellow Americans, your country is so terrible that Sideshow Bob is free to run amok in our federal systems (please support Sideshow Bob)
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Breaking: awards season is upon us and insiders are predicting a big haul for Donald Trump, self-appointed Chief Bestower of Awards
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*Serious VP voice* Very uncivil of us to violate his sacred right to open up live federal payment systems and smash his hand on the keyboard just to see what happens. Kids don't grow up right if they can't have the little things.
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The libertarians are now more aware of the real work of government than the leaders of said government, this might be bad.
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They'll let the junior staffers mess around with federal payment systems but open Nazi salutes are only safe for The Management.
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I assume "Parody Account" is there to provide the cowardly deniability of the edgelord
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+1 Ohio State Buckeye helmet sticker
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They directed their prayer to the wrong heavenly office and it ended up on the desk of a trickster-god.
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Wonder if there's a Super Bowl Prop bet on whether the ad has to be immediately pulled from future spots out of embarrassment like Google at the Olympics
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He thinks the guy didn't bother to call the Department of Premium White-Glove Government Service for Immigrants Only + Free Puppies
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There's a common type of guy who just loves saying "the problem is all those people who don't want to work", I overhear these people all the time, and I'm convinced the total elimination of welfare wouldn't slow them down at all.
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Reporter: umm hey there Netanyahu this doesn't seem to line up with your own lunatic position
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Breaking: DOGE announces new federal agency to determine who is the best Path Of Exile 2 player once and for all
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I believe the source saying that the goal is to terminate 300 leases per day because this is exactly the Idiot Corporate Metric way to go about it.
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Maybe not the main thing here but the way that Murdoch outlets pretend not to be The Media must be a big factor in the republican numbers.
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Strategically-timed austerity must be hitting the Midwestern Safari travel budget.
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I'm a bit surprised they didn't start with this one, lots of lazy complaints about Marxism surely incoming
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Alright we'll have to leave it here, have a good one