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bjtheunissen.bsky.social
programming, king gizz, and just straight chilling. ๐Ÿ“melbourne, australia, prior NYC. ๐Ÿ’โค๏ธ @trippyloner.
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broke - Kamala Harris: โ€œi will follow the law when it comes to transgender individualsโ€ woke - Stephen Smith:

Government workers when DOGE shows up.

i'm losing it

The year is 2035. I meet President AOC in the Oval Office. "You've done well," she says. "By telling men to dress gay, you've lowered the population rate by 90%, thereby reducing carbon emissions." She slides me a manilla envelope. I can now afford a home in a walkable neighborhood

I wanna hear the Johnny Cash version

I'm screaming - 10yo has just been telling me that his schoolteacher asked his class to write down the worst things about Scrooge, as an exercise to prepare them for writing little plays of A Christmas Carol, and one kid wrote "unfuckable bitch"

The NYT article about Blake Livelyโ€™s lawsuit is incredible. Her director/costarโ€™s PR team texting โ€œHoly shit, I canโ€™t believe how well our evil plan to destroy this womanโ€™s reputation is working! Thank god no one will ever read these text messages!โ€ back and forth to each other over and over

worth noting that the incident described here took place *at most* four months after biden took office. he was like this the whole time. everyone was lying to us

Finally, Republican policy I can support

don't care. CURSE OF RA ๐“€€ ๐“€ ๐“€‚ ๐“€ƒ ๐“€„ ๐“€… ๐“€† ๐“€‡ ๐“€ˆ ๐“€‰ ๐“€Š ๐“€‹ ๐“€Œ ๐“€ ๐“€Ž ๐“€ ๐“€ ๐“€‘ ๐“€’ ๐“€“ ๐“€” ๐“€• ๐“€– ๐“€— ๐“€˜ ๐“€™ ๐“€š ๐“€› ๐“€œ ๐“€ ๐“€ž ๐“€Ÿ ๐“€  ๐“€ก ๐“€ข ๐“€ฃ ๐“€ค ๐“€ฅ ๐“€ฆ ๐“€ง ๐“€จ ๐“€ฉ ๐“€ช ๐“€ซ ๐“€ฌ ๐“€ญ ๐“€ฎ ๐“€ฏ ๐“€ฐ ๐“€ฑ ๐“€ฒ ๐“€ณ ๐“€ด ๐“€ต ๐“€ถ ๐“€ท ๐“€ธ ๐“€น ๐“€บ ๐“€ป ๐“€ผ ๐“€ฝ ๐“€พ ๐“€ฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“€„ ๐“€… ๐“€†

ran out of hummus

Godzilla Minus One is by far the best kaiju film created, shook at how good that was

wait holy shit

NYPD officer writing up a report of the evidence so far:

@benstiller.redhour.com this is an absolutely phenomenal trailer, huge congratulations to the team! youtu.be/_UXKlYvLGJY

I can tell that Iโ€™m heading into my thirties as deweeding and sweeping the back deck of my new apartment has been one of the most satisfying things Iโ€™ve done all year.

โ€œNo worries if notโ€ -President Yoon Suk Yeol

people with other goals in life won't care at all when you bring up them not having kids, but your fellow Who Can Talk The Most Like Sephiroth competitors with fertility issues will