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coconutshrimppuff.bsky.social
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Toad put his head very close to the ground and shouted, “NOW SEEDS, START GROWING!”

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

“I will be too tired. I am going back to bed.” Toad went back into the house.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 241 comments

Henceforth, any plane that lands and flips will be known as the Fetterman landing.

submitted 4 days ago • 417 comments

Eggs are too expensive to celebrate Easter... I'm going straight to Halloween

submitted 5 days ago • 58 comments

I call it X now because i used to fuck with it and no longer do

submitted 4 days ago • 39 comments

I sleep with a knife under my pillow in case someone with assorted meats and cheeses breaks in and needs to make a charcuterie board

submitted 5 days ago • 180 comments

With Handmaids Tale people focus on the shock of the mass rapes in the book and the show. But how the regime came to be in power in that book keeps me awake at night because it is playing out in very intricate detail in our real lives right now.

submitted 6 days ago • 763 comments

Toad went back into the house. He got into bed and pulled the covers over his head again.

submitted 8 days ago • 12 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 26 comments

“Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly. “Not even one.” “Yes,” said Frog, “but we have lots and lots of will power.” “You may keep it all, Frog,” said Toad. “I am going home now to bake a cake.”

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Slit throats are red, Mindflayers are blue, We'd risk it all, For a Hamster called Boo

submitted 8 days ago • 33 comments

Me: Hi, may I please see the wine list? Waiter: Ma'am, it's 8 AM. Me: Oh, sorry. Good morning, may I please see the wine list?

submitted 8 days ago • 173 comments

and, in conclusion, eff blitzball

submitted 8 days ago • 19 comments

me: i am nobody’s bitch. my cat: meeeeeoooow. me: coming sweetie.

submitted 9 days ago • 43 comments

I can’t believe I was ever foolish enough to believe that an entire city could be built on rock and roll.

submitted 9 days ago • 67 comments

Wife: I hope Drake kept that wheelchair from Degrassi because Kendrick broke every bone in his body during that halftime show

submitted 9 days ago • 28 comments

Huge score tonight. Went to free book night at the kids school and got scary stories with the original art

submitted 9 days ago • 148 comments

Toad sat and did nothing. Frog sat with him.

submitted 9 days ago • 6 comments

Toad went to Frog’s house. He found a note on the door. The note said, “Dear Toad, I am not at home. I went out. I want to be alone.” “Alone?” said Toad. “Frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone?”

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

I'm going to start calling the gulf of mexico trout fishing in america

submitted 9 days ago • 16 comments

Go read a book.

submitted 10 days ago • 404 comments

LOGGING ON

submitted 11 days ago • 10 comments

The fact that the Eagles’ two rings came from smacking down Brady and Mahomes will feed our families for generations

submitted 12 days ago • 61 comments

🏮

submitted 12 days ago • 51 comments

I feel like this is an important moment to clarify that Canadians hate Drake more than any of you, so if anything this helps Canada-U.S. relations right now

submitted 12 days ago • 79 comments

You can tell Kendrick’s performance was based off of playstation because he was playing no games last night

submitted 11 days ago • 21 comments

Maybe Harrison Butler should retire and go make a sandwich or something

submitted 12 days ago • 83 comments

When Kendrick said hey Drake and smiled at the camera I screamed laughed in a way I didn’t think possible. #superbowl

submitted 12 days ago • 157 comments

Toad found a lantern in the attic. “Frog will see this light. I will show him the way out of the woods,” said Toad.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Maybe 17 beers and 13,000 calories worth of spinach and artichoke dip will help me feel better about the world

submitted 12 days ago • 233 comments

Frog put the cookies in a box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.” “But we can open the box,” said Toad. “That is true,” said Frog.

submitted 12 days ago • 2 comments

government being destroyed by people that participated in the rick and morty sauce freakout

submitted 13 days ago • 38 comments

What if history just didn't repeat itself, for once?

submitted 13 days ago • 1086 comments

I just want to go back to the time when every single song on the radio was by the goo goo dolls

submitted 13 days ago • 194 comments

If the PlayStation network stays down any longer, people are going to be at risk of getting to know their family members

submitted 14 days ago • 108 comments

coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. i need a week by the sea that ends with me being eaten by a shark.

submitted 14 days ago • 187 comments

None of the Jurassic Park sequels have brought back Mr DNA in any capacity afaik and I think that’s the real problem.

submitted 14 days ago • 110 comments

have a good weekend to everyone out there except the people who are trying to ruin everything

submitted 14 days ago • 17 comments

I will say an entire economy of grown men screaming, crying, and developing political opinions because Star Wars isn't made for them after they aged out of the target demographic is an actual crisis of masculinity.

submitted 15 days ago • 80 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 72 comments

Nobody needs a Buffy reboot. Buffy is perfect left just as it was after seven seasons. What we need is a 1970s-set prequel centred around the mysterious misspent youth of Rupert Giles.

submitted 15 days ago • 103 comments

Frog came running up the path. “What is all this noise?” he asked. “My seeds will not grow,” said Toad. “You are shouting too much,” said Frog. “These poor seeds are afraid to grow.”

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

put it in the chyron hall of fame

submitted 15 days ago • 208 comments