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elmoputney.bsky.social
Could do with a haircut. Please don't ask me for directions. Loves all things jazz hands.
48 posts 436 followers 832 following
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Posts 46 Comments 4

WYOMING: “Thank you, Madam chairman.” “I prefer ‘Mister’ chairman.” “Well you all voted preferred pronouns cannot be compelled speech.”

submitted 2 days ago • 1472 comments

America has a Nazi problem.

submitted 2 days ago • 26 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 2491 comments

👇

submitted 4 days ago • 88 comments

Look closely.

submitted 5 days ago • 680 comments

Hey @JDVance, and @elonmusk, and @realDonaldTrump it looks like the Auschwitz Memorial wants to educate you. STOP LYING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

submitted 7 days ago • 828 comments

If you wanted to cut waste, fraud, and abuse, you would empower the inspectors general. If you wanted more waste, fraud, and abuse, you would fire them.

submitted 7 days ago • 2289 comments

Yes he is.

submitted 13 days ago • 679 comments

I'm a truck driver and when I'm finished eating my banana, I throw the skin out of the window. I don't see this as littering. I see this as a shrewd Mario kart move to stop other trucks from overtaking me.

submitted 14 days ago • 14 comments

She speaks truth.

submitted 15 days ago • 1237 comments

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.

submitted 16 days ago • 3187 comments

BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL BOO DONALD TRUMP AT THE SUPER BOWL PASS IT ON!!!

submitted 17 days ago • 916 comments

My old pal Palmerston has got a new job... in Bermuda. How did I miss out on that?!

submitted 19 days ago • 48 comments

Why is nothing positive ever contagious? Like just once after getting sneezed on it would be nice to suddenly know how to play the piano or something.

submitted 20 days ago • 10 comments

Dull, overwhelming gray covering it all is a perfect metaphor for the bigger picture. This photograph was taken two days ago at the FBI Academy in Quantico and submitted to the NYT under the condition of anonymity. If a picture is usually worth a thousand words, this one is worth millions.

submitted 24 days ago • 52 comments

Never watched rugby but got into it during the Olympics? Great. Here's some talking points. The man pictured below, who looks like he was rendered on a PS1 is called Antoine Dupont. He's 5'9 but has the density of a medium sized black hole.

submitted 24 days ago • 8 comments

They're not fooling anyone.

submitted 24 days ago • 517 comments

Cheddar flavor Ritz crackers dipped in Garlic & Fine Herbs flavor Boursin. You're welcome.

submitted 24 days ago • 4 comments

Someone has been sniffing sharpie again.

submitted 24 days ago • 72 comments

I love that a white guy was flying the plane, a white guy was flying the helicopter, and a white guy gutted the FAA last week but somehow the blame is too much diversity.

submitted 24 days ago • 672 comments

Any holiday not about straight white Christian men will be "paused."

submitted 25 days ago • 1057 comments

chef tip: chumbawamba was an innovator in the kitchen. they invented the technique of “tubthumping”, where one puts meat in a big “tub” to get “thumped”. this would tenderize the meat and would ensure it goes great with a whiskey, vodka, lager or cider.

submitted 27 days ago • 3 comments

As Trump post lies on "Truth Social" The Californian state water agency is obliged to correct him

submitted 27 days ago • 50 comments

submitted 28 days ago • 1980 comments

I love this

submitted 31 days ago • 347 comments

It says a lot that trump spoke more harshly about a woman of the church, Bishop Mariann Budde, who asked him kindly to "have mercy," than he has EVER spoken about a murderous dictator like Vladimir Putin. Fucking coward.

submitted 31 days ago • 798 comments

I’ll save you some time this morning - I just checked and the news is all bad.

submitted 32 days ago • 192 comments

You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.

submitted 32 days ago • 338 comments

Please believe this …

submitted 32 days ago • 61 comments

Whenever I start to feel anxious I immediately have another coffee and scroll through the worst news imaginable on my phone and omg it does not help at all

submitted 32 days ago • 436 comments

Interviewer: “so what’s this gap in your resume?” “Oh, those were the years when they weren’t hiring Black people.”

submitted 32 days ago • 289 comments

If n*zis are excited about you you’re doing it all wrong.

submitted 33 days ago • 185 comments

Hands up everyone who zooms in on every picture posted with a bookshelf in the background to check out the books

submitted 33 days ago • 1303 comments

As TG would say “you may need this “

submitted 37 days ago • 46 comments

My one wish for the inauguration is that there is a gift bag under the seats of Bezos, Zuck, Elon etc, with a single, embroidered , padded knee pad Need to protect themselves when they are on bended knee, kissing the ring 🤷😆

submitted 38 days ago • 5883 comments

Pass it on. Text your friends, family, and neighbors.

submitted 39 days ago • 843 comments

If Janey Godley was still here she would post this herself. But she isn't so I will.

submitted 39 days ago • 42 comments

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 GILLIBRAND: "You said in your statement 'you don't want politics in the DoD.' Everything you've said is politics. 'I don't want women, I don't want moms.' What's wrong with a mom, by the way? Once you have babies you're no longer able to be lethal? It's a silly thing to say."

submitted 41 days ago • 65 comments

A few years ago, I threw away that box of power cords and cables, and everything has been fine so you can go ahead and do it.

submitted 41 days ago • 911 comments

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Until I was in my teens, I didn't realize that Americans call some types of jam "jelly" so when I pictured a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I assumed they were cutting slices off one of these like it was a ham.

submitted 42 days ago • 17 comments

submitted 44 days ago • 245 comments

An airline where they knock you the fuck out before you board and wake you up when you’re there. Anesthesia Air, the best trip on earth.

submitted 45 days ago • 18 comments

Karen Pence wants nothing to do with Donald or Melania Trump.

submitted 46 days ago • 1625 comments

I joined the gym six months ago and there’s still no progress I’m going there tomorrow in person to see what’s really going on

submitted 46 days ago • 56 comments

Rock songs in the 70s were like "She's a dangerous woman, she'll play you like a fiddle, she'll steal your heart and ruin your life. She's 16."

submitted 46 days ago • 106 comments