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frankchips.bsky.social
sheesh kebab, geez fries, yikes salad please hold https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:u7gavvi7t5cn2d34wtkgjy42/feed/aaaa322hoj6dq
174 posts 3,916 followers 2,046 following
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Sorry to get political but I think we should pay people to check for poop in our food

submitted 38 days ago • 82 comments

Several of you are characters in my new play

submitted 58 days ago • 4 comments

This is about the time in my workday where I start to google how I can get paid to sell pics of my feet

submitted 58 days ago • 5 comments

I'm usually pretty chill Except for that one time And all those other one times

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Emotions? What emotions? Fuck you.

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

I don't even background check before a date anymore just kill me

submitted 57 days ago • 21 comments

there are people out there who think Blink 182 is punk music *shudders*

submitted 56 days ago • 17 comments

A style guide for glowing up lying in bed avoiding life.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

(3 minutes into a hunger strike) Alright...I’m ready to make some concessions.

submitted 56 days ago • 11 comments

Twinkle, twinkle little star How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK

submitted 71 days ago • 8 comments

Me: *taking off my clothes* I hope you like it rustic

submitted 57 days ago • 5 comments

Excuse me! Garçon! I was promised fresh hell, not the same shit warmed up day after day.

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” every time I leave my house.

submitted 662 days ago • 5 comments

I wouldn't know where to start if someone presented me with a bag of dicks.

submitted 59 days ago • 50 comments

Not making sense just isn't worth it. Take it from me, a please take it from me from me repetitive caricature. It was fun at the carnival, like the giant prizes in seatbelts on the way home, but sooner or later the crossroads twinkie deep fries for thee

submitted 58 days ago • 5 comments

Really digging your AM radio vibe I mean how many people can just cut out and be really silent under a bridge like that, wait, what are you pointing at oh shit mothman

submitted 58 days ago • 4 comments

I didn't spend all this time not developing translucent skin and bug eyes just to end up living in a cave. But I am finally willing to go really deep and more impossible to understand

submitted 57 days ago • 8 comments

We chose our carriage our gown our ball but all we really wanted was a gourd that can write doctors' notes

submitted 57 days ago • 4 comments

I suggested to the fellas at the golf club that we open a coffee shop in the clubhouse and call it 'Parbucks' and then four of them tried to drown me in the lake.

submitted 58 days ago • 9 comments

WIFE: *reading news article* Omg a woman choked on a chickpea and died ME: *barely audible* Hummuscide HER: Get out!

submitted 57 days ago • 6 comments

Ah April fools day, the day I call my friend Eric 'Erik' lol I'm such a prankster.

submitted 57 days ago • 4 comments

ME: What does emo mean? GIRLFRIEND: It’s emotional ME: [holding her hand] It’s ok babe. I’ll ask someone else.

submitted 57 days ago • 3 comments

And for my third wish I asked for 3 more wishes but the genie was like 'you can't wish for that' and then I was all 'no, you said I couldn't ask for infinite wishes' and he was like 'damn, I need to tighten up' so I wished I was a little bit taller, a baller and then...yep...3 more wishes.

submitted 56 days ago • 2 comments

GOD: You CAN fly. Just under water PENGUIN: Fuck you dude, you called that 'swimming' only a few minutes ago.

submitted 56 days ago • 6 comments

Those were some notable cunts you mentioned there, indeed.

submitted 62 days ago • 1 comment

Aquarius: Before you consider arguing with someone online, why not try dropping an anvil on your head instead?

submitted 59 days ago • 2 comments

It's not cool to tell someone that they look like someone else. You could be risking the other person’s life by telling their evil twin their whereabouts.

submitted 58 days ago • 3 comments

sorry i yelled crouching tiger hidden dragon when you fell down the stairs

submitted 58 days ago • 3 comments

One thing I firmly believe is that, instead of flying, airplanes should run around on extremely long legs

submitted 58 days ago • 4 comments

*bends time and space *makes them into a balloon giraffe

submitted 58 days ago • 3 comments

[recorded astronaut radio chatter] captain: have you guys seen my chocolatey lava pie? it was right here next to the... HEY IS THAT CHOCOLATE ON YOUR FACE

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

"GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE" I yell as I bludgeon you to death with a baby

submitted 58 days ago • 6 comments

ME: (remembering time is money) what money is it

submitted 56 days ago • 10 comments

Youth Pastor [shouting over the music] YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

This, too, shall pass, I whisper as I gobble an Ex-lax and slam a double espresso.

submitted 60 days ago • 6 comments

She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly He (sigh): Ok it’s… your “signature sex move” She: Judgmental Corpse?

submitted 476 days ago • 23 comments

val kilmer’s turn in TOP SECRET is one of the single best comedy performances ever committed to film, both in terms of comic precision and mechanical virtuosity. just watch this whole clip in its entirety; it’s stunning

submitted 56 days ago • 209 comments

group chats are dumb until I’m invited then they’re really dumb

submitted 56 days ago • 6 comments

Sleep deprivation will have you thinking you’re funny. That’s why it’s important to post your thoughts on bluesky dot app. You must learn the harsh truth.

submitted 59 days ago • 5 comments

why can't tornadoes deliver takeout

submitted 56 days ago • 55 comments

I just found out people log off of here sometimes and let me tell you, I’m furious

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Fool me once, bye

submitted 57 days ago • 4 comments

if i wanted to fight someone i would simply invite them outside, where the laws of applebee’s hold no dominion over me

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here furiously flipping through a dictionary trying to find out what “imagine” even means

submitted 56 days ago • 2 comments