haldrauve.bsky.social
Hal. 한국어+日本語. Artist/writer/bookworm. Mainly original works and my versions of classic literature. All use/repost of my artwork prohibited.
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Or is it that they think Saying a kind-sounding phrase is equivalent to a Real Kindness so just Saying something is Doing something
So their actions can work toward the opposite effect at all times in blatant hypocritical contrast to their words, and that does not bear questioning?
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How do I interpret this?
Is it that they never mean anything they say
or are they just so inept they can only ever achieve the opposite of whatever they intended
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Their brand of “you’re no good for anything to us but that’s ok what matters is that you’re happy!” pseudo-egalitarian charity
is as good as telling me my existence has no use or significance.
So it will not make any difference at all for it to end.
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That is not any kind of kindness.
That is a toxic dynamic—not beneficial in either direction.
I just feel devoid of worth and miserable in their company.
And whether I am there makes no difference to them. My disappearing from their life makes no difference.
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Anyone who lets me know directly or indirectly that I have failed to serve their benefit in any meaningful way—big or small—I have to break off from.
Why would I stay around people who make me feel like a burden they are just tolerating out of charity because they’re so “kind?”
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It's always like this though, with such issues....Incompetents will sit there and waste your whole life plus their own, creating mutual misery and frustration and zero benefit to anyone
Then you just hit upon the one smart and capable person who fixes the supposedly impossible issue instantly.
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And then he took the time to quickly and efficiently answer my annoying clarification questions regarding minutiae of what I should do to ensure it goes without issue this time
which the previous incompetent people either ignored or answered inadequately or impatiently dismissed.
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However I maintained a "whatever I don't give a fuck" attitude about it and consulted a new person about it via a different channel later
and that person was instantly able to fix the issue so that I am able to proceed.....He took all of 2 minutes.
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Made zero progress. Just pure drain of time and energy and morale—
and from consulting all of the complaints from other people online of all the myriad things that went wrong for them in the same process, gained only misgivings about whether every step in this process is going to be like this.
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I have found so often all it takes to be rated Excellent (or Excessive) is to do the bare minimum when nobody else cares to do even that.
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Maybe my "bare minimum" effort is just already a lot more than average people's "best"
so when I start to exert beyond my "bare minimum" it's immediately in the territory of Excessive.
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The solution the universe is suggesting seems to be to Stop making effort at anything, never be passionate about anything
just approach everything with the attitude of "This doesn't matter to me at all and I don't give a fuck what happens to it."
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This has applied to tests, to friendships, to work...
When I put in exceptional and passionate Effort because I saw it as important and truly wanted it to go well, the more I just ended up being punished for that passion and effort. Every time.
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Would have been extra insane with makgeolli but I held off bc almost all makgeolli is sweetened, and I wanted to get dessert today
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Be they cheap toxic goods, or cheap toxic food—
or cheap toxic people who pretend to be your friends as long as it benefits them, and then play clueless and aloof once they got all they need out of you and they no longer value you.
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Possibly I was in a chronic state of overwhelm from too many pressures and distractions and temptations.
Now that I have cut out all the shiny-but-actually-worthless crap and reduced and simplified my whole life—everything feels more clear and manageable, and competing interests are much fewer.
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Feels like I’m working with a completely different BRAIN in recent years—I cannot fathom what the hell I was on in prior years that made everything feel so much harder.
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That’s one I’ve been wanting to read specifically 🤩 I’d just been watching a lot of his interviews regarding the book
youtu.be/tTBWfkE7BXU
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Technically most if not all KR traditional restaurants regardless of fanciness do free refills for all side dishes, and many just have self-refill stations so you can get as much as you want
but it’s generally understood you should get refills Within Reason and not leave anything uneaten.
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The fact that it’s become natural for me to detach completely and change everything out where I could not imagine doing so before means “Eat to Forget” therapy is working ☺️
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My relationship with this narrative has become complicated by my inability to continue engaging in any way with what it was at first created as a direct response to.
I’ve been considering a long time whether and to what extent I should separate it all out.
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The Siren is not exactly the protagonist of his story—there is another character I have not introduced whose perspective is more centered
and I held off introducing him because I was torn on whether I was going to end up making these changes, or keep things as I initially conceived them.
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Tbh this one looks very easy to make and I’m gonna try to make it at home myself—just need to produce chantilly cream sweetened to taste, then slap it in a croissant with some strawberries 🍓
www.bakersdelight.com.au/recipes/stra...
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God makgeolli enhances the flavor of food so much I completely blacked out while eating
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Can you get grilled mackerel where you are? I hope you are getting extremely good food 😭❤️🔥
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And a little makgeolli (rice wine) 🥺💕
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KR restaurant…grilled mackerel, bibimbap + noodles I’m thinking
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You can eat what pleases you—I would if I could, I just cannot tolerate cloying sweetness or deal with the bad skin reactions or the dopamine disruption.
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Coconut milk makes for super thick & creamy hot chocolate 🥥🤎
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She suffers a world-shattering betrayal by someone she loved and trusted that leaves her too traumatized to function.
Then she finds out that when she is eating a mind-blowingly delicious meal, it momentarily takes her out of dwelling on that memory.
Hence she "eats to forget (that person)."
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For some reason I get the sense westerners are not capable of connecting to this kind of story at all.
Strange because both stories about extreme trauma from personal relationships and stories about healing through food (and combining the two) are extremely popular in the east.
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She suffers a world-shattering betrayal by someone she loved and trusted that leaves her too traumatized to function.
Then she finds out that when she is eating a mind-blowingly delicious meal, it momentarily takes her out of dwelling on that memory.
Hence she "eats to forget (that person)."