Profile avatar
hesmith.bsky.social
Writing in my on time, writing in my off time. Non-binary, chronically ill, baker. I'm not sleeping right now. They/them
34 posts 148 followers 37 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 21 Comments 27

Johnny Somali, the nuisance streamer who travels the world committing the most culturally offensive felonies he can for views, is now in Korea. Mock-assaulting memorials to sex crime victims, Actual-harassing women, spraying rotten fish juice on subway strangers. And he is absolutely screwed. 🧵

submitted 110 days ago • 172 comments

I want to know who’s going to answer for fucking Caroline Gleich confeding the race before the votes were even started counted.

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

A child in honest to god JNCOs, wow

submitted 115 days ago • 2 comments

well this is one of the best things i’ve ever seen. (video description: six panels of the same video of a nazi with a swastika arm band getting knocked the fuck out by a black man throwing a solid right-handed punch. the videos are offset, to match the beat of “mr. sandman.”)

submitted 123 days ago • 14 comments

Ahoy! The scammers are here! I woke up to this old chestnut, and since Bluesky is pretty new, I thought it might be helpful to show y'all how this one works. A scammer will reach out for work, and it'll be really vague - a piece of his kid, or suddenly four, it doesn't matter, he doesn't care.

submitted 126 days ago • 87 comments

I don't want to duck into an ongoing fray about student loans because I'm trying to be a little less spicy but people always shoot down alarm at the state of them because "most of that is rich kids who went to ivies". The thing about rich kids is they're not actually rich.

submitted 190 days ago • 5 comments

And now I've seen someone saying the Dutch speak "better" English than Americans and I need every European out there to go acquire a working knowledge of dialects and linguistics because shit like the Académie Française has given y'all the idea that there is a single "good" version of languages

submitted 194 days ago • 37 comments

I've talked about this with Don before, but for those of you who don't know the story: I grew up participating in the form of child labor that's currently (and always has been) 100% legal: a child of any age working for a business 100% owned by their parents that is not mining or manufacturing.

submitted 214 days ago • 5 comments

Americans often have a fundamental misunderstanding of their country’s position in the world. But they are far from the only ones.

submitted 214 days ago • 1 comment

There is some INCREDIBLE chaos happening in my Facebook Messenger right now. There is a member of the local Communist Party who is kind of legendary for his aggressive recruitment tactics on Facebook, which tend to involve mass friend-adding & then creating big Facebook groups to promote his stuff

submitted 223 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 231 days ago • 20 comments

people find it so hard to believe that stormtroopers from Star Wars have terrible aim probably because bad equipment it's 2024 on earth and we have two of the most valuable companies in the history of the world: one of them is making airplanes that crash, the other makes trucks that can't get wet

submitted 248 days ago • 53 comments

i've always loved the Terry Pratchett Boots Theory of socioeconomics but it's really striking now how it's slowly becoming inaccurate bc so many companies straight up do not make good products anymore. not even rich people can buy things that aren't designed to break in 3 years bc they don't exist

submitted 250 days ago • 113 comments

Ok let's go. Pills that make you green.

submitted 253 days ago • 18 comments

Kinda crazy that artificial intelligence needs the entire output of a nuclear reactor but actual intelligence can run on Twix bars and cocaine, for example.

submitted 261 days ago • 51 comments

My brains background process is going to be at 100% for a few weeks trying to decide if the theatrical or extended LOTR edits are the superior cut

submitted 263 days ago • 46 comments

This meeting could have been a Pokemon tournament.

submitted 321 days ago • 0 comments

On my first day at the NYT, I went to an orientation. They handed me two sticks and instructed me to help them catch snipes in the bushes outside. It was dark, and I confused the cotton balls in their hands for little birds. I returned to the orientation room and sat down, ashamed.

submitted 367 days ago • 0 comments

"Hey, did you finish those malaria-awareness posters yet?" "Sir, yes sir! Real fuckin' sexy, just like you wanted, sir!"

submitted 385 days ago • 32 comments

I am never going to understand buying gifts for people based on what you think they should have, instead of (and often at-odds with) gifts they would actually like to receive.

submitted 434 days ago • 0 comments

Can't even make gay porn in the Senate hearing room anymore due to wokeness

submitted 440 days ago • 32 comments