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jhnenvee.bsky.social
Haunted house in human form
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I told the car wash NO SCENT, but they didn’t listen and now my car smells like a ghostbaby.

Today a friend asked me what is now one of my favorite questions: “How many different clowns are inside of you?”

Been thinking about Rogue One lately so I threw it on SOMEHOW having forgotten about cg Peter Cushing and the horror and dismay at discovering that again is not cool.

More proof that our phones spy on us - I’ve never seen meatloaf propaganda on my phone before but I talk about ‘loaf’ for a moment and now THIS. What more proof do you need. Someone stands to make a lot of money if they make a phone that guarantees you never see meatloaf on it.

You’re technically invincible that first day of feeling alright after being sick. I’ve been drinking puddle water and eating raw chicken all day.

I’m rarely ever sick so when it finally happens my weakened state makes it harder to run from all the people whose life force I’ve been draining to stay healthy. Sure they’re slow (from the drainin’) but they have numbers and wizened rage.

Watched videos of octopi squeezing through tiny crevasses earlier and I’m somehow even angrier than usual at all these bones in me.

I don’t want to sound like one of those name dropping attention seekers but whatevuh: William Howard Taft

I’m wearing pants Iv’e never worn before. Maybe now everything will be better…

I wouldn’t mind sleep so much if you could it while awake.

Grapes on jam-strip. Street art? Bidding starts at one million dollars.

REMINDER: I'm auctioning these two original ZIM production sketches to help folks affected by the wildfires out here. The sketches are by me, so there's some "provenance" for ya. Thanks for bidding! www.ebay.com/itm/30605807...

I find myself restless and in San Diego. Who’s awake and wants to go break a killer whale out of the zoo?

You know what? Fuck it! I’m finally gonna get a TikTok account and - OHhhhh

Gwen deserves a GIR hoodie #hellaween

Trying to cram the entire upcoming years’ worth of suffering into this first day.

Old Food delivery guy just told me, in a super thick accent “You a handsome boy. Look at your little picture.” I did that thing where I had to watch them to make sure they got in their car and drove away.

My favorite thing about visiting family for the holidays is the almost stop motion like animation of seeing your siblings’ kids growing up, becoming adults, their eyes dulling slowly over time, your siblings withering, becoming Dark Crystal’d by parenthood as you scream into the very face of time.

Anyone ever something like a tooth or a fingernail or anything like that in a bag of snacks while snackin’, stare at it, say something like “Oh shit!”, throw it away and then go right back to snackin’ from the same bag?

Selling several jars of the somewhat alive jelly that lines the inside of the chimney after Santa visits. Serious offers only.

And GodzooOOoooOooOkeee…

If you die in Flavortown they leave your body where it fell, just like on Everest.

Thanks, everyone who came to the signing at Dark Delicacies. It went hours longer than expected thanks to the loonypants turnout with the line going out the door and into merciless, bone smashing, flesh-smearing traffic. Surprisingly few casualties.

Oh my god. Smash it AND bang it. SMANG IT. I get it now!

The last couple of years have been some of the worst in my life but I feel like, if I stay the course and put in a bit of hard work, I can make the years to come infinitely worse.

Thinking about ALIENS. Why was Bishop not an evil company plant? Aside from the writing perspective of defying audience expectations, within the world of the story itself, why would Weyland Yutani NOT be using androids with their switches set to evil? I’m beginning to suspect ALIENS isn’t real.

Charlie Kaufman’s novel Antkind contains one of my favorite sentences about birds in all of fiction: ‘We are their toilets.’

Can we make this the biggest thing in the world? I want to live in a world where this is hugely popular. youtu.be/IiL7juu5iiY?...

I WILL NAME YOUR BABY. Expecting? Don’t know what to name it? Feel free to use this name, no charge: SKWUDGE

Can’t wait for this month to be over. So sick of Thanksgiving songs everywhere I go. All day long the sound of shrill, panicked slaughter-gobbling. Gobbling everywhere.