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kateness.bsky.social
I’m doing amazing, sweetie
177 posts 783 followers 444 following
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Posts 24 Comments 26

I don’t understand how architectural arches stay up and I don’t want to know

submitted 407 days ago • 2 comments

Just once I’d like to land on a dessert island, full of cake and stuff

submitted 420 days ago • 1 comment

New year, new you! And over there, you. Behind those trees, another you. Steadily closing in, even more yous. What have you done

submitted 424 days ago • 3 comments

Goodbye Holiday Depression, hello Regular Depression. Again

submitted 424 days ago • 0 comments

“baby, it’s cold outside” - me, explaining society to a baby

submitted 433 days ago • 3 comments

Just once I would like somebody to slap me in the face with a pizza

submitted 434 days ago • 1 comment

Frosty the Snowman had a broomstick in his hand He was going to do some light home maintenance and then fly away on it But those darn kids kept chasing him and asking him to perform marriage ceremonies

submitted 439 days ago • 1 comment

All I want for my New Year’s resolution is yooooouuuu

submitted 441 days ago • 0 comments

ANGEL: so here’s the baby jesus, how you gonna describe him? WISE MAN 1: christ the savior WISE MAN 2: holy infant WISE MEN’S COOK: tender and mild ANGEL: excuse me

submitted 446 days ago • 14 comments

If I got to name a roller coaster I would name it after the greatest cornfield baseball field maker, The Kevin Costner Coaster

submitted 449 days ago • 0 comments

Drawing a little mustache on my boobs so my camera recognizes them as a face

submitted 451 days ago • 1 comment

Make sure to leave out milk and cookies for me tonight. I’m not Santa, I’m just hungry

submitted 452 days ago • 1 comment

My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them? Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord

submitted 453 days ago • 16 comments

Goodbye Spooky Season, hello Regular Fear Season

submitted 484 days ago • 1 comment

You know what’s fun? Being awake with your own thoughts

submitted 490 days ago • 1 comment

Hold me like you hold my boobs, tightly, gently, and slappy

submitted 496 days ago • 2 comments

me: it doesn’t have a tail so i’m pretty sure it’s a hamster tech support: okay fine right-click the hamster

submitted 520 days ago • 12 comments

Really hate it when I try to drink my coffee but it’s all gone

submitted 521 days ago • 2 comments

Damn Past Me for making plans today, we can go straight to hell

submitted 522 days ago • 1 comment

Dogs: wake me up at 7:57 Dogs: comfy and back to sleep by 8:30 Me: this is bullying

submitted 523 days ago • 1 comment

When the moon hits your eye And Shrek starts to cry That’s a Donkey

submitted 583 days ago • 1 comment

Casual: Rob a bank Fancy: Robert a bank

submitted 575 days ago • 13 comments

Me when my vibrator dies: you’re supposed to be a dildo not a dildon’t

submitted 524 days ago • 1 comment

Quote tweet this with a pic of you 10 years ago and an explanation of what happened I got bangs and banged

submitted 525 days ago • 1 comment