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nikalamity.bsky.social
a hot mess My Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:m2vyt2c75uebzega5vcbyypf/feed/aaadgbdqzhulm
151 posts 956 followers 315 following
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Posts 45 Comments 4

Please fuck off if you are able

submitted 16 hours ago • 18 comments

Due to inflation, we will no longer be able to walk on eggshells. Sorry for the inconvenience.

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

I asked my kids to send me an email listing 5 things they did last week, and it just said "video games" five times.

submitted 19 hours ago • 1 comment

is your district ready for the games

submitted 23 hours ago • 13 comments

If you pretend that you're erasing evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you'll do a better job and it's more fun!

submitted 1 day ago • 56 comments

people who are optimistic, who hurt you

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

I’m not an introvert I just don’t like you

submitted 17 hours ago • 13 comments

This whole country wants bad things for others more than they want good things for themselves.

submitted 1 day ago • 1525 comments

since we are purposely ushering back in the dark ages, i would like to advocate that we get to once again open carry swords with which to smite our enemies

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

stop saying unprecedented

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

feeling like we could solve some problems if we get all the billionaires to cryogenically freeze themselves

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

i hope the upcoming revolution involves folks breaking out in highly choreographed song and dance numbers

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

since protecting people’s personal data is apparently no longer a thing, can i change all my passwords back to 1234

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

in a shocking development, Biden’s poll numbers are up

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Not to be all Pollyanna positive but I hope you are in a place where you can hear the different birdsong that comes with longer days because it’s fucking fucking beautiful

submitted 3 days ago • 30 comments

Weirdos gonna weird.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

My body is in that stage where you can tell I kinda work out but you can also tell I don’t turn down a chocolate donut

submitted 11 days ago • 11 comments

all the Star Wars geeks running the country and social media right now sure went to the Dark Side real quick

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Alexa play that sound that kills people

submitted 3 days ago • 21 comments

I figured it out, everyone. The problem is people. We have a people problem.

submitted 4 days ago • 22 comments

Are we still doing "if you see something, say something" b/c I been seeing a bunch of things

submitted 4 days ago • 25 comments

Look ma! No life!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Existential Dread Pirate Roberts

submitted 4 days ago • 18 comments

I will NOT listen carefully. I do NOT accept your menu changes

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

At some point in my 50s, I started addressing animals and small children as “Bubs”

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

i think we’re all ready for canada to invade now

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

[me reading the news] time to manifest some witchy shit

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I’m not one to complain, but I will

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

when do i get a letter from the federal gov’t about my info being taken in a data breach

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

how many endangered species has Don Jr. killed

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

they gave a lobotomy to the wrong Kennedy

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

stop egging cyber trucks we need the eggs

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

ok hear me out what if that 2012 mayan calander shit was real and is the Bad Place

submitted 6 days ago • 151 comments

“Someone’s broken into my house and killed my family, please help.” “What minerals you got?”

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

who came up with dressy casual? fuck off, pick one

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know what you think is happening right now but fyi none of it is good

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Don't make it weird, and just take these baby chickens I caught for you

submitted 7 days ago • 10 comments

this administration could’ve been an email

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Just checking in to make sure everything is still awful

submitted 7 days ago • 41 comments

you’ll be disappointed if you ask me to smile. i still look pissed

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

when do we start dumping tea in the harbor

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Knowing about when your adversary is going to turn up is knowing the estimated time of a rival.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

the only reason there are so many plane crashes is because you keep counting them all

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

You’re wrong, like Fettuccine Alfredo at a diner.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I'm gonna be honest. I'm on team asteroid.

submitted 9 days ago • 25 comments