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saintsamuel.bsky.social
He/Him/They/Them // 25 // I make, hunt and collect monsters! // Busy Writing //
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I’m writing about all the things I ought to do before I die. It’s called an oughtobiography.

submitted 4 hours ago • 62 comments

There’s a song by The Eagles called Lyin’ Eyes about a woman who is cheating and there’s a lyric that goes something like “she’s heading for the cheating side of town” and it makes me laugh like ahh yes, the adultery district

submitted 6 hours ago • 182 comments

old Soviet joke for our times: Guy stops by the newsstand every day, scans the front page, doesn’t buy the paper. One day the vendor asks what he’s up to. Guy says: “looking for an obituary.” Vendor says “those are towards the back of the paper, comrade.” Guy says: “not the one I’m looking for.”

submitted 17 hours ago • 199 comments

i haven't seen any of the oscar movies this year, nor have i seen any movie ever made. i'm afraid that the people trapped inside the screen will be angry at me for not helping them escape; and once they are out i will be punished. anyway, here's how the awards validated an opinion i already had:

submitted 4 hours ago • 28 comments

luxurious

submitted 3 hours ago • 18 comments

submitted 4 hours ago • 12 comments

Nap with me?

submitted 4 hours ago • 80 comments

Morrigan. 🙏

submitted 10 hours ago • 18 comments

As someone who spends a lot time thinking about the values I want to teach my kid (besides PLEASE DON’T EAT DIRT), the thing I keep coming back to is this: I want him to believe that the strongest, bravest thing he can do is give a shit about other people—especially ones who aren’t like him at all.

submitted 18 hours ago • 716 comments

💀

submitted 22 hours ago • 196 comments

In January 1941, President Franklin Roosevelt answered the "America First" of his day - and foresaw the "America First" of ours: "We must especially beware of that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of the American eagle in order to feather their own nests."

submitted 1 day ago • 169 comments

Translation: "We are containing the geopolitical damage done by President Manbaby and the eyeliner wearing sofasexual."

submitted 1 day ago • 729 comments

Behold! Postcard from my collection, no date.

submitted 23 hours ago • 47 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Noodle is managing her anxiety by alternating between consuming extra snacks, random wailing, and halfhearted attempts at exercising. No evidence of effectiveness to date. Slander regarding her girth will not be tolerated. Noodle is trying her best.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

Two men are on opposite sides of the river. The first man shouts, "How do I get to the other side of the river?" The other man shouts back, “You ARE on the other side of the river."

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

Good morning Blue Sky

submitted 2 days ago • 36 comments

Don't Fret. 🥹

submitted 1 day ago • 86 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 26 comments

i think they should let you have 1 cute filter for your picture at the DMV i'm not talking about anything that would make you unrecognizable, just maybe the anime blush or the cat ears or something

submitted 2 days ago • 24 comments

🌈 rainbow trout 🌈

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I just saw a guy running down the street with a cape on I yelled, hey, are you superman? He said, no, I just didn’t pay for my haircut

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

Katydid: I halp mommy worsh tha dashes!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

Out to dinner and my server is so high he apologized for not bringing food he already served twice so far and also has introduced himself about 3 times

submitted 1 day ago • 203 comments

Happy Pokémon Day! #pokemon #pokemonday

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

“Sic semper tyrannis.”

submitted 1 day ago • 27 comments

[explaining costco] you know how sometimes you need some jeans, a ukulele, an engagement ring and a 10 pound block of cheese?

submitted 6 days ago • 16 comments

Snuggle bros 💚

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

Who needs a weighted blanket when you have 27 pounds of cat

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

“You said if I let you sleep in until 6:00 I could have all the treats I wanted.” Happy Caturday, From the Drama Queen. 👑

submitted 2 days ago • 63 comments

Grunts

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

My plans to get the cats turnt on nip has met with the predictable result that the asshole cat is even more of an asshole when she’s loaded.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I can't believe they're shutting down Skype in a couple months. We still used it to connect to some studios to work on video games and such during the pandemic. It was a huge amount of fun for me and some friends when I first entered high school. Man, gonna miss it.

submitted 2 days ago • 31 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 63 comments

A rescue and new life

submitted 1 day ago • 25 comments

Betelgeuse is ready for anything this #Caturday

submitted 2 days ago • 41 comments

Molly, our beautiful senior mama cat, is recovered from the removal of her cancer and now she’s just looking for a calm, quiet person to spend the rest of her days with. www.petfinder.com/cat/molly-75...

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

🎨discovered panzer bandit, blacked out, woke up to this drawing :V #PS1 #retrogaming #fanart

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 408 comments

Well maybe if you stop singing hurtful rhymes about me for one second I'd be able to explain that the reason I look like a monkey is actually somewhat related to the fact that I smell like one too

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

everyone who writes a profile of a regretful trump voter thinks they're doing something brave and ground-breaking and every single time the subject is like "yeah i believed whatever he said bc i wanted to and i'm stupid"

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

he’s getting swept away. sorry everyone

submitted 13 days ago • 3 comments

Minky Momo owns this home & her own car on a single allowance from her parents. This was considered normal for magical girls when the show ran in 1991.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments