thejesterandhisppl.bsky.social
A very silly not at all timely series of poems about a funny jester/king and the even sillier people who make up his kingdom going on their very random misadventures
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O! O! The Jester Reigns!
And the jester had to pay more for wine
And much more for clothes both silken and fine
His food was brought in from neighboring lands
His trinkets and jewels were all just as grand
When he saw his pile of gold was still low
“O! O! I’ve been robbed,” the jester bellowed.
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O! O! The Jester Reigns!
And on and on it went the Silly Spies
Became footmen, servants, those who advise.
They made mistakes: silly secrets were sent
Across seas, Food rot in fields as rains went
The schools shut down and the sick stayed at home
The kingdom of silly rot to the stones!
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O! O! The Jester Reigns
“Then one of you must now open my doors,”
the jester declared. “A king,” he now swore,
“Does not do that.” At dinner the wine
Was quite sour. “This wine cannot be mine.”
“You fired the man who tends the wine cellar.”
“Then you will be the new basement dweller.”
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“Who needs schools, water, and all of that food,
When gold will do? They’ll never be so rude
As to steal from me again!” Jester roared.
Then the king promptly walked into his door.
“Ow!” he said, “Where’s the guard who opened this?”
“You fired him,” said a Spy. “He was dismissed.”
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O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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“Some gold goes to build up the kingdom’s schools!”
“All stolen! Stolen! Stolen!” cried the fool!
“Some gold goes to keep the well water safe!”
“It’s all been stolen! This is a disgrace!”
“Some gold goes to pay all the palace guards.”
“Then we’ll have fewer! It can’t be that hard!”
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“I’ve found that the old king gave one gold
To some candy people! The frail and old!”
“Stolen Stolen!” the jester cried loudly!
“Some gold once went to those who had proudly
Served in the last war. They use it to eat!”
“Stolen! Stolen! Stolen!” the jester screeched.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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“Help! Help me find all those who have robbed me!”
The Silly Spies went out to heed his plea
On the Candy people they all did spy
For sev’ral weeks away from prying eyes
When they returned they had much to report
They buzzed with excitement in the king’s court!
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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“Silly spies! Silly spies! Help I’ve been robbed!
I can’t find all my gold!” the jester sobbed
The Silly Spies (Who are always list’ning)
Lined up in front of him positioning
Themselves so the jester thought them pretty
Their king loved nice things. It made them giddy!
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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“Someone’s stolen from me!” The jester cried.
He ran through his rooms with tears in his eyes.
“O! O! Where are my coins, my sweet gold things!
Not in my silks or my boxes that sing?”
The jester ran madly both to and fro
No matter where he looked he found no foe.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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For weeks the jester hired mapmakers far
And near but the Great Sea familiar
Poured across his pages only his map
Was right! Only his map! Not these bad scraps!
No new charts were made as mappers were slain
The Great Sea on paper would e’er remain.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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That evening the jester opened a book
His blood ran cold as ice when he did look
And found the Great Sea still scrawled very plain
On the map. In tens of books each the same!
The Mapmaker’s lies were haunting him still!
He’d hire yet another with better skill.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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“I will live in this cage if you’d prefer
And fix each map,” The mapmaker whimpered.
“No you are a tricky thing changing maps
When I’m not looking. I’ll see you dead!” Wap!
Went the knife and soon the mapmaker died
“Find me a mapmaker who will not lie!”
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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A cage did not work, asking did not work
The Jester held a knife to their throat irked
That the mapmaker had still bested him
“Why do you do this? Is it on a whim?”
The jester hissed, “You stop changing my maps!”
The mapmaker shook, sure this was a trap.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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The mapmaker was caged, the key thrown away
To sink in the Silly Sea but that day
The jester opened yet another book
He barely even had to truly look
For Great Sea was so neatly scrawled there too!
The mapmaker was everywhere he knew!
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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He shut the tome and flew into a rage
This time he would not lose! He would cage
The mapmaker and stop them from making
All of these maps! How dare they keep taking
His books behind his back to rename seas!
It’s Silly! Silly Sea! Could no one see?
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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With a book in hand and his map plastered
On the wall the jester clapped! He’d mastered
The art of changing names that dastardly
Map maker would never think flattery
And pretty letters would still distract him!
The jester found another book to skim.
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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The map maker thinking very quickly
With their quill fast scrawled out the word “Silly”
Over “Great” on the map and then did glance
To find the jester had begun to dance!
“O! O! You’ve fixed it I see! How pretty
It seems now! Look! Look here! The Silly Sea!”
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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The map maker did not quite understand
And so a book was thrust into their hand
On the map the Great Sea sat prettily
As Jester hissed and seethed. “You said that Silly
Was a renamed sea but here I can see
That you’ve done nothing but lie to me!”
O! O! The Jester Reigns!
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The map maker did just as they were told
A map was drawn in colors bright and bold
To the north they did write The Silly Sea
In their most beautiful calligraphy
The jester looked happily at his map
“The Silly Sea’s name is now much more apt!”
O! O! The Jester Reigns!