tshy125.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Green Day’s Dookie is longer ago from now than the JFK assassination was Green Day’s Dookie.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My favorite part of the day is when I can tilt the chip bag back and pour all of those last little bits all over my face

submitted 43 days ago • 20 comments

I’m babysitting my little Italian cousin and I have no idea how much prosciutto to give a 6 month old

submitted 43 days ago • 235 comments

wife: winking the kids are out all evening, are you thinking what I’m thinking? me: already setting up the Risk gameboard I’m way ahead of you babe

submitted 148 days ago • 4 comments

I didn't realize how depressed I was until I threw a sheet of unpopped bubble wrap in the trash

submitted 45 days ago • 3 comments

insects who prefer warmer weather? why the fuck are you so sensitive all of a sudden. your entire body has like 2 nerves in it. you are shit

submitted 45 days ago • 39 comments

The future (imo) will be filled with a constant ache and continual search for — with increasingly diminished capacity for discovery / identification of — authenticity.

submitted 51 days ago • 15 comments

Opening a restaurant named ‘Peace and Quiet’ where kids meals cost $80

submitted 93 days ago • 575 comments

How Did This Beloved Thing Get So Bad? a guy wanted to get richer What Happened To All Thos— let me stop you there. a guy wanted to get richer Why Is Th— a guy wanted to get richer Have You Noticed Th— a guy wanted to get richer Where Did— a guy wanted to get richer

submitted 52 days ago • 81 comments

The temperature on Mars gets down to like -250 degrees at night because it has no atmosphere. So no trapped heat. Also no air. And no water. And no trees. And no food. And no structures, for shelter. And no possible way for humans to survive. Anyway here's the world's richest man with some thoughts:

submitted 55 days ago • 64 comments

it kicks ass that we've fully moved on from a model of internet success based on organically developing an audience who rewards you for creating interesting or entertaining work to everyone desperately trying to cheat their way into an audience so they can then scam them with various schemes

submitted 56 days ago • 83 comments

at my funeral, please make sure to note that while I did not contribute to human progress at all, at least I didn't stand in the way of it

submitted 57 days ago • 9 comments

STEM is so cool. Science is amazing. Kids should develop curiosity about how the universe works and proficiency in uncovering its secrets, so that they can most effectively optimize clickthrough rates on banner ads at the bottom of VC-funded website-apps.

submitted 59 days ago • 32 comments

security at most levels of an airport are beyond ridiculous until you get to baggage claim and it’s like pick a bag, any bag.

submitted 67 days ago • 13 comments

got fired from red lobster for naming the lobsters in the tank and asking people if they are sure they wanna order genevieve

submitted 84 days ago • 19 comments

[playing poker] FRIEND: I’m all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are

submitted 68 days ago • 31 comments

Happy Expired Ham Day to those who celebrate

submitted 17 days ago • 20 comments

Anybody that gets a song written about them had sex with the songwriter. For instance, Francis Scott Key probably fucked that flag

submitted 67 days ago • 133 comments

The best way to avoid having to hijack a plane is to simply book tickets on a flight that is already heading to your planned destination instead. Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don't want you to know.

submitted 67 days ago • 4 comments

Had to pause in the middle of shoveling chips into my face to catch my breath

submitted 68 days ago • 17 comments

priest: body of christ me: yes chef

submitted 70 days ago • 9 comments

if a snowman magically came to life in front of me i would bash its head in with a shovel

submitted 69 days ago • 18 comments

Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May

submitted 71 days ago • 15 comments

Cop: you're going to prison for forgery Me slides him a 37 dollar bill what about now

submitted 79 days ago • 10 comments

Unfortunately the Constitution did not foresee a situation where the president does whatever he wants and says "What are you gonna do about it dork"

submitted 21 days ago • 645 comments

What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents.

submitted 73 days ago • 8 comments

A house should cost 4 cars, and a car should cost 1000 sandwiches

submitted 74 days ago • 48 comments

Apparently ‘Vodka Sauce’ is an actual culinary item, rather than just pouring vodka over everyday foods.

submitted 74 days ago • 6 comments

i asked AI how to solve the trolley problem and it suggested i shoot the trolley company CEO so

submitted 74 days ago • 1 comment

farts are very disturbing, I don’t want to smell the inside of you

submitted 74 days ago • 16 comments

if you stretch and hear a cracking noise that’s your bones clapping because you did a good job

submitted 101 days ago • 3 comments

stop it i'm going to cry

submitted 82 days ago • 44 comments

Wow. it must feel terrible when someone takes something you made and uses it without permission or payment

submitted 25 days ago • 191 comments

Those tiny bottles at the liquor store aren't free samples . . . I know that now.

submitted 80 days ago • 51 comments

[sommelier interrupts me] stop saying notes of ass

submitted 208 days ago • 5 comments

[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?

submitted 93 days ago • 15 comments

Me orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date McDonalds drive-thru employee: what

submitted 80 days ago • 249 comments

Here at the institute, we're changing vegetables in a big way. The screaming you hear is from the lettuce lab

submitted 285 days ago • 21 comments

judge: swear them in bailiff: ok get the fuck in there guys

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 81 days ago • 2 comments

If you put a lasagna on top of another lasagna, it’s no longer two lasagnas. It’s one giant lasagna. THAT is the power of lasagna.

submitted 92 days ago • 87 comments