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#FFXIV > Saa'li Detria@Hyperion(Primal)
PFP > Twitter@Coba_Lovelive
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17.
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this is the most exciting part
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haven't updated the thread in a minute
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thinking about when wow players started playing 14 and you'd see their asses playing with ugly ass delvui
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Anyway next time I wanna talk about consistency, and how a traumatic (half-joking) experience in re/clearing P7S made me refocus how I approach raid.
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I just don't think I'm equipped to answer these questions for myself, but I know at least if I'm gonna keep doing this I can't let myself wait for other people to pick up the slack for me.
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How many mistakes should you tolerate before you bring it up? How do you approach this person without seeming like you're targeting them? If you push them too hard are you gonna fracture their mental and cause them to make mistakes elsewhere? Well now you've really done it, huh?
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I think part of my apprehension is that I have a hard time gauging what tone I should use when broaching these subjects. I know in general I can come off as flippant and abrasive in text and especially voice, which is its own problem that goes far beyond the scope of a silly video game.
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I didn't want to back someone into a corner in DMs and be like "hey I need you to fix this this and this" but I also didn't want to start like, publicly calling people out in our raid chat. I've only started doing the latter within the past couple of weeks, and every time I do I feel like a bastard.
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About the best I could reach for the majority of the past few months was ending each night with a broad reminder for people who work on things they messed up. But that didn't hit everybody, and it sometimes wasn't hitting the people I'd intended it for.
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So looking at this as we're nearing the end, I don't think I did a good job. I did hit a lot of the minor goals, but I missed the big one. I -still- don't like being the bad guy. If anything I kept counting on other people to do the bad part for me, which is a supremely fucked up expectation.
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I need to play perfect. All things considered I have an easy job here, and how can I hold people to task about messing up mechanics if I can't do them myself? I need to get better at reading the room, both to defuse tension early and to know when someone needs a moment to collect themselves.
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There's some other smaller stuff in there - I need to reduce yapping, primarily from myself but also being able to shut people up if we're losing focus. If I'm calling mechanics I have to make sure I'm clear and concise, and most of all that I'm -right-.
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I know what my biggest flaw is, and what it's always been. I don't like being the bad guy. I knew as much two years ago when a friend from our old Creator group asked why I think some early members flopped out.
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So I put together two documents - in one, I put my expectations for the group and sent it to the static as an open invitation. Everyone except for one person jumped on.
In the other, I wrote down what -I- wanted to accomplish and get better at as a raid leader. No one but me would see this.
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I had to get over myself. No one else was gonna do this, and if I really wanted it to happen I had to be the one to do it myself.
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I sat on that feeling for a couple weeks because my mind kept bouncing between that thought and "well we were pretty miserable in TOP weren't we". I'll admit I was also hoping someone else would decide to organize it first. I don't wanna do this man!
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And like I've said multiple times now, it sucked ass! After four nights over two weekends with the group, I knew two things:
1) I wanted out
2) I wanted to raid with my friends
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That's where the outside TOP group came in. I hadn't joined other groups for anything harder than like, an extreme farm, and wanted to get my feet wet with grouping with other people.
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That rattled people enough that while we were willing to continue doing savage, we were gonna stop doing ultimates as a group and just hibernate during the odd patches.
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Unfortunately there were some stumbling blocks. It took us two group attempts to clear DSR, and when it came to TOP a combination of IRL issues, consistency problems, and people leaving caused us to drop off before we could even get close to clearing.
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AND that worked out for way longer than any group I led. Some people came and went over time, but the group's held steady through four Ultimate clears and every from Eden's Promise to today. Sick!!!!
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So in a way, when someone else revved up the TEA group and brought me in, I was relieved! I get to raid with my friends, -and- I don't have to be the one organizing this shit? Sign me the fuck up!
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And I wanna be honest: it sucks! I hated seeing those groups fall apart, I hated seeing friends yell at each other, and the entire time I would sit there feeling like it's my fault that things were breaking apart that way.
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sidenote 2: if I hadn't been brought in to the current group for TEA I probably would've kept trucking with the outside group through there to wherever they ended up.
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sidenote 1: the TOP group was something I was doing on weekends cause we were on Light-Heavyweight reclears and I wanted to see how I could fair during the downtime. Still miserable.
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But I wanna focus on the Alphascape and TEA groups because my reason for joining them was the same - after Sigmascape, the group I led fell apart. After Eden's Verse, the group I led fell apart. And both times for one reason or another the band got back together after.
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The Alphascape group wasn't meeting my expectations for prog; the TOP group ran for two weekends before breaking, and the personality of some of the members was just so rotten that I probably would've left then anyway.
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I've on three separate occasions joined other groups for prog - Alphascape in 2018, TEA in mid-2020, and TOP in Sept 2024. And honestly? Aside from that TEA group, I was miserable.
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The common thread between all of these is that they're groups that have been entirely or mostly friends and friends of friends, and if they weren't before they became friends over time. And I've realized over time that that's exactly how I like it.
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Broadly I consider my time raiding in FF14 as four distinct periods - Binding Coil, Midas through Sigmascape, Alphascape through Eden's Verse, and TEA/Eden's Promise through now. The latter three share some of the same members, but I consider big shakeups that happened in O8S/E8S as breakpoints.