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vulgarisinsanis.bsky.social
I’m a joke and this is my account. I like to fucking swear. As seen on @thepokeuk.
198 posts 260 followers 265 following
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Posts 36 Comments 13

in the background of the violence of my heart plays a love song

submitted 70 days ago • 17 comments

i don't know who needs to hear this but please remember it's not a toyotasprint it's a toyotathon

submitted 2 days ago • 64 comments

Alexa have you seen the rest of my acid? Lava Lamp:

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Adonis going absolutely ham on some kibble in the closet

submitted 1 day ago • 74 comments

A friend in need is a friend indeed.. 🐢

submitted 2 days ago • 400 comments

me: *holds up drawing* is this the guy? witness: that looks nothing like him me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

Easily overwhelmed xox

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

There's not a lot we can control in life right now so for the love of god do NOT forget your kegels

submitted 2 days ago • 15 comments

Just Admit You're Wrong

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

[flirting with the drive thru attendant] mcnugget. is that irish?

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

nurse: *doing ultrasound* your baby looks fine girlfriend: what about the sex? me: wow not now tiger the nurse is right there

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

I have eaten more Jaffa cakes than you will ever know xox

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

in light of everything i'm thinking about becoming a wine mom

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

[threatening a baby] here comes the airplane

submitted 2 days ago • 136 comments

thanks to public education i know today is shaping up to be a parallelogram

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

i’m laughing imagining one of those car carrier trucks going all the way across the country and then when they pull the cars off it, the truck is mad like “they could drive this whole time!?”

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

i love when soccer players try to help their team by moving a dead ball up the field an extra inch or two then kick it 65 yards

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Couldn't remember the name 'komodo dragon' earlier so I called it a biguana.

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken

submitted 3 days ago • 97 comments

It’s a smidge inaccurate to still be calling it a Newfoundland, don’t you think?

submitted 3 days ago • 17 comments

You know when you’re just sitting there minding your own business and you get like a full-body shiver out of nowhere? That’s a demon jumping in to possess you and then jumping right back out after he’s had a quick look around like nooooope

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power

submitted 3 days ago • 506 comments

* Showing up to the team potluck with a toaster and a sack of loose Wonderbread *

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

I went to the ER for a migraine once. The nurse asked what I took for it. I said "a liter of chocolate milk." She paused & said "Odd.. but only something a migraine sufferer would try" as if I correctly answered her riddle & she was granting me passage to the land of pain relief.

submitted 3 days ago • 38 comments

actually, let's make it a month

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

As soon as our tax refund comes in I’m heading over to the farrier to have my hooves done

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

[Puts on helmet & adds a bell & basket to my bike] Spin class instructor: no

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

The other website is pretty much done

submitted 3 days ago • 713 comments

who the fuck looked at a snail and thought i bet you're delicious, they look like boogers wearing crash helmets you silly little freak

submitted 3 days ago • 54 comments

The real Gulf of America is an abandoned gas station turned meth lab in the back country of Kentucky.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Honestly demons are approaching possessions all wrong with the whole hostile takeover strategy, like all they really need to do is hmu on the right day and be like “hey man you look like you could use a break” and I would THROW them the keys to this mess

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

I told him to screw me on the kitchen table so he laid out all my bills and showed me my current bank balance

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

*walks up to sex worker* Me: I really hope you find what you're hooking for.

submitted 5 days ago • 14 comments

Life is too fucking short. Irish up that coffee.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I’m rubber, you’re glue. I’m canvas, you’re eyelets. I’m laces, you’re suede. We’re only a vulcanization process away from melding our lives in a converse all star.

submitted 4 days ago • 6 comments

I was having a good hair day so I took the pantyhose off my head while I was robbing the 7-Eleven

submitted 4 days ago • 11 comments