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vulgarisinsanis.bsky.social
I’m a joke and this is my account. I like to fucking swear. As seen on @thepokeuk.
199 posts 263 followers 267 following
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Posts 37 Comments 12

Hey, babe. Ready for round two? - lame - overused - mood killer Once more, into the breach. - classy - Shakespearean - acknowledges the dangers of devil vagina magic

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I pay myself in tools whenever I do DIY work and don't pay someone else. This means I don't really save money, because I have ADHD and either forget what tools I already have or I can't find them.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

Pat: Hit me with your best shot. Me: Really? Pat: Fire away. Me: I did not expect amateur archery league to be like this.

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

The doctor said I need to do things to get my heart rate up so I'm letting my teen son drive me around.

submitted 11 hours ago • 16 comments

Zelda says that all of our problems would be fixed if we all licked more buttholes.

submitted 11 hours ago • 113 comments

Priest: he was best known for inventing the jack in a box, and now a short musical interlude Pallbearer: *starts winding a tiny handle on the side of the coffin*

submitted 7 hours ago • 10 comments

Ask not for whom the skeet tolls. It tolls for thee...

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I want a motion sensor on my gravestone that plays the opening to 'Thriller' when people walk past.

submitted 16 hours ago • 5 comments

I find your grandmother’s knickknack collection alarmingly lackluster.

submitted 14 hours ago • 33 comments

Just learned that techno feudalism isn't when you have an argument with your bro at the club.

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

My daughter is having her birthday party at a trampoline place today so I'll either come back with a spine injury or the bird flu. Hopefully both 🤞

submitted 14 hours ago • 40 comments

in the background of the violence of my heart plays a love song

submitted 70 days ago • 17 comments

i don't know who needs to hear this but please remember it's not a toyotasprint it's a toyotathon

submitted 2 days ago • 64 comments

Alexa have you seen the rest of my acid? Lava Lamp:

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Adonis going absolutely ham on some kibble in the closet

submitted 2 days ago • 74 comments

A friend in need is a friend indeed.. 🐢

submitted 3 days ago • 402 comments

me: *holds up drawing* is this the guy? witness: that looks nothing like him me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

Easily overwhelmed xox

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

There's not a lot we can control in life right now so for the love of god do NOT forget your kegels

submitted 3 days ago • 15 comments

Just Admit You're Wrong

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

[flirting with the drive thru attendant] mcnugget. is that irish?

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

nurse: *doing ultrasound* your baby looks fine girlfriend: what about the sex? me: wow not now tiger the nurse is right there

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

I have eaten more Jaffa cakes than you will ever know xox

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

in light of everything i'm thinking about becoming a wine mom

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

[threatening a baby] here comes the airplane

submitted 3 days ago • 136 comments

thanks to public education i know today is shaping up to be a parallelogram

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

i’m laughing imagining one of those car carrier trucks going all the way across the country and then when they pull the cars off it, the truck is mad like “they could drive this whole time!?”

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

i love when soccer players try to help their team by moving a dead ball up the field an extra inch or two then kick it 65 yards

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Couldn't remember the name 'komodo dragon' earlier so I called it a biguana.

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken

submitted 3 days ago • 97 comments

It’s a smidge inaccurate to still be calling it a Newfoundland, don’t you think?

submitted 3 days ago • 17 comments

You know when you’re just sitting there minding your own business and you get like a full-body shiver out of nowhere? That’s a demon jumping in to possess you and then jumping right back out after he’s had a quick look around like nooooope

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power

submitted 4 days ago • 506 comments

* Showing up to the team potluck with a toaster and a sack of loose Wonderbread *

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

I went to the ER for a migraine once. The nurse asked what I took for it. I said "a liter of chocolate milk." She paused & said "Odd.. but only something a migraine sufferer would try" as if I correctly answered her riddle & she was granting me passage to the land of pain relief.

submitted 3 days ago • 38 comments

actually, let's make it a month

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

As soon as our tax refund comes in I’m heading over to the farrier to have my hooves done

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments