i'm like a truffle hog for these miserable pieces of shit. god they're the worst, all chewy and cloying. and no one bakes them! they appear fully formed in their plastic containers at the grocery store. disgusting morsels. i just ate 3 of them
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I just can’t figure it out-I see these at a potluck and shun them. Yet I look down moments later and see a morass of sprinkles and crumbs, with a vaguely sweet-yet-raw dough taste lurking around my back teeth. Then I see a lone purple sprinkle quietly leeching its color onto my tongue.
I'm intrigued. They look like the very simple biscuits small kids make in their first baking class (and then take home to their parents, who refuse to eat them because baby germs).
They taste like if you poured some wet sugar and flour into a cookie-shaped mold and then let it harden into a vaguely cake-like texture. They're nasty and I don't know what people are going on about 😭
They are designed in a lab to make you need them despite having absolutely no nutritional value (or natural ingredients). Just pure chemical desire aimed straight at your blood glucose levels.
I think it’s so funny how universally hated but also begrudgingly loved these cookies are. A true anomaly lol. I’m the same. How can they be so dry yet so soft. So flavorless yet delicious. The are gross but I will eat a whole container if I don’t control myself.
i open a package of these and black out for an hour and when i come to they've all vanished. crumbs and sprinkles everywhere. ears ringing. i would kill for these cookies but they might kill me first. and i'm probably okay with that.
I hate these things. They’re like if you cut a cookie cocoon open and pulled out the pale unformed worm within and ate it. I will eat an entire container if permitted
When I was a teenager working retail I’d have one of these along with a Mountain Dew slushie on my break. Really needed the 600 grams of sugar to deal with retail.
When I could eat these I would scrape the icing off with my teeth (thoroughly unpleasant) and leave the cookie bit, which always reminded me of the fatigue mats they put in kitchens so you don't destroy your feet. The sprinkles are fascinating. They're like if you taught a sprinkle how to hate
I need you to know that this reply made me laugh harder than I have in a very long time. Actual tears in my eyes. "They're like if you taught a sprinkle how to hate" is gonna stick with me for the rest of my life omg
I think it's important to approach all desserts with a level of demented zeal. I also scraped all the icing off my grocery store cake slices and left the cake. I still would if gluten free cakes and cupcakes didn't cost infinity dollars
It hadn’t changed at all: it tasted like a dish sponge, soaked with artificial syrup. I took another bite wishing my favorite cake shop was still open.
We're going to find out in ten years they've been lacing these things with cocaine or something. When I buy a box I have to strictly limit how many I eat in a day. I'm sick of them by the months end, and inexplicably I've bought another box with my groceries.
Frosting:
-1 cup powdered sugar
-2 cup water
-The contents of the dust collector bag from a belt sander, fine grit preferred
-Unnatural pastel dyes (food grade not necessary)
-Optional nonpareils for decoration
-Combine frosting ingredients in a stand mixer. Add water until mixture has a grout-like consistency.
-Add coloring until frosting resembles floor cleaning product diluted for use in spray mops.
-Cover and refrigerate.
-Use 3-1/2" hole saw to cut out drywall circles. Remove paper. Optionally, use an ogive router to give cookies the rounded store-bought edge.
-Using a steamer basket, steam cookies until gypsum is soft and crumbly.
-FLour bottom of cookies with reserved sawdust for inexplicable flour coating.
-Trowel on grout mixture before it sets. Optionally apply nonpareils before grout mixture sets for a festive look. Nonpareils will absorb moisture from grout mixture to prevent any chance of residual texture.
For me it's the jumbo rainbows and the Susan Fudge cookies, both from Safeway. The way these assholes override my free will makes me feel like I should start attending AA meetings.
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(Can I have one?👉👈)
@disastershipblonde.bsky.social reminded me of Ben 😆
Just somehow read the post in Ben's voice 🤣 what have you done to me?! 😅💕
Immediate migraine though 😭
(I've had to give up caffeine, which is also rubbish!)
One of those things where you know better but sometimes you just do it anyway
(BOOOOO on having to give up on caffeine!)
I woulda eaten the whole box.
Still admittedly like these things I think
Best way to eat them is munch away the icingless outside edge and then enjoy the center with its perfectly nasty ratio of filmy icing and dry dough.
She referred to them as Crack Cookies. And she hated me so much for a while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS-07dh9-NA
True about the cookies as well
It hadn’t changed at all: it tasted like a dish sponge, soaked with artificial syrup. I took another bite wishing my favorite cake shop was still open.
...I love them
...and yet.....
You will need the following:
-1 cup powdered sugar
-2 cup water
-The contents of the dust collector bag from a belt sander, fine grit preferred
-Unnatural pastel dyes (food grade not necessary)
-Optional nonpareils for decoration
-1 full 4x8 sheet of 1/2" drywall
-Additional fine sawdust
-Add coloring until frosting resembles floor cleaning product diluted for use in spray mops.
-Cover and refrigerate.
-Using a steamer basket, steam cookies until gypsum is soft and crumbly.
-FLour bottom of cookies with reserved sawdust for inexplicable flour coating.
Nope - soft soft soft o god all soft and my brain short circuited.
I can't ever eat another. I'm too traumatized.