You can't intellectualize the entire universe, man. Can you "measure" time? Could one "quantify" intelligence, or "weigh" a human heart? You’re gonna “test” my blood alcohol level?? Give me back my gun, officer, and be on your way.
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Weighing a human heart is pretty easy! Simply punch through a man’s chest and remove it, still beating and bloody. Chuck it on a food scale, and Bob’s yr uncle.
Does the blood count as part of the heart’s weight, or does it need to be separated out? Or is it a regional issue and we should check local statutes? I don’t want to sound incompetent if I get asked about this in a job interview.
Blood counts when you weigh any organ! We’re serious people, we don’t have time to be draining spleens. Lots of weird data to collect, very little time.
i tried not getting a ticket by saying that the heisenberg uncertainty principle states that you can’t measure both my speed and position at the same time so he can’t possibly ticket me (ap physics drop out here). it didn’t work i got a ticket but he also didn’t harass me much so maybe it did?
A physics professor argued that he ran a red light due to Doppler shift caused the light to appear as a different colour as he approached.
He was offered a deal where the original charges would be dropped, if he accepted the speeding ticket for traveling fast enough for the effect to have occurred.
👏👏 physics professors are weird people. the teacher for the AP physics class i dropped had gotten tired of kids running down his garbage cans, so one day he filled them to the brim with water... he had to do community service all summer and pay to repair the car...
Surprisingly “sir I tested above the 95th percentile on every standardized test I’ve ever taken, so obviously you can’t hold me to same standard as everyone else” doesn’t work either
Right up there with, "I can't possibly be held accountable for my actions as I was clearly drunk and had no ability to make a sensible and lawful decision."
Trying to reduce the universe
to something intellectual is as
doomed as trying to reduce it
to something amusing, or absurd,
or any other criteria. The universe
cannot be reduced...unless you
can put infinity under your thumb.
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He was offered a deal where the original charges would be dropped, if he accepted the speeding ticket for traveling fast enough for the effect to have occurred.
Heisenberg: "No, but I know exactly where I am."
Cop: "I clocked you at 79 miles per hour."
Heisenberg: "Great, now I'm lost!"
Schrodinger: "Well we are now, asshole!!"
to something intellectual is as
doomed as trying to reduce it
to something amusing, or absurd,
or any other criteria. The universe
cannot be reduced...unless you
can put infinity under your thumb.
But I've said too much already...