british constable, 1757: parliament says to stop putting chalk in the bread modern CEO, transported back in time, trying to disrupt bread industry: what if i pay a contractor to put the chalk in the bread constable: you cannot add chalk CEO: what if i deliver the chalk bread to your house - ThreadSky

lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com • 521 days ago

british constable, 1757: parliament says to stop putting chalk in the bread

modern CEO, transported back in time, trying to disrupt bread industry: what if i pay a contractor to put the chalk in the bread

constable: you cannot add chalk

CEO: what if i deliver the chalk bread to your house

Comments

bainard.bsky.social•521 days ago

pete buttigieg: what are you charging for the chalk bread?

doordaesh.bsky.social•521 days ago

Constable: we are going to hang you now.

alicetawhai.bsky.social•520 days ago

Should go well with cheese 🧀

jaireclohnson.bsky.social•521 days ago

Big chalk is not gonna like this

duaadiddy.bsky.social•521 days ago

Why the fuck were they putting chalk I bread? This is the kind of shit they don’t want us learning in history class

vsaarenketo.bsky.social•521 days ago

Easier to harvest than wheat🤷🏻‍♂️

duaadiddy.bsky.social•521 days ago

Please don’t let this be the reason Jesus Christ. Victorian England wtf is wrong with you??

wendyzski.bsky.social•262 days ago

If you do any reading into Victorian food adulteration, you wonder how anyone survived.A lot of weird things in Victorian novels start to make sense once you realize that pretty much everyone in the city had low-grade lead poisoning plus whatever was in the smog and arsenic wallpaper was fashionable

vmcf.bsky.social•521 days ago

They put it in milk too

thegoddamn.icu•521 days ago

It took the fuckin' Italian Amerivan Mafia to end milk adulteration in the US. No joke! "youse fuck witha th' milk, you sleepa with the fishes" fixed the milk industry in a real hurry

vsaarenketo.bsky.social•521 days ago

Googled it😐

https://historycollection.com/10-ways-victorians-unwittingly-poisoned-every-single-day/6/

hemlockautumn.bsky.social•521 days ago

They used to add papers in sausages.

duaadiddy.bsky.social•521 days ago

Alright I quit

lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com•521 days ago

it was no joke to whiten the bread more cheaply than using milled flour

word-geek.bsky.social•262 days ago

There was a similar scandal in China not long ago where baby milk was adulterated with melamine
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Chinese_milk_scandal

silkscreenfiend.bsky.social•521 days ago

IIRC, they put sawdust in it in WWII to bulk it up.

duaadiddy.bsky.social•521 days ago

WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!??

savannahskeath.bsky.social•521 days ago

In the Roman era there was such a big issue with adulterated bread that all loaves had to be stamped with the baker’s mark for accountability and bread forgery was a Major Crime. This policy went on on-and-off into the Middle Ages.

orpach.bsky.social•262 days ago

Still legal in the US. Labelled as cellulose, and doesn't have any nutritional benefit/hindrance. Provides some amount of fibre.
I don't think it's done much, since food-grade wood isn't cheap.

Did hear of a baker in germany who sold sawdust biscuits (advertised as such) and had to stop though.

whirringsoftly.bsky.social•521 days ago

There was that brand of orange drink (contained no orange juice) that amongst other things had so much carrot extract in it turned people who drank it orange.

duaadiddy.bsky.social•521 days ago

Sunny Delight???

c0nc0rdance.bsky.social•521 days ago

What if I put together an industry-funded "Bread-based Mineral Nutrition Council" to publish think-pieces on the nutritive value of all-natural organic chalk supplements in bread?

c0nc0rdance.bsky.social•521 days ago

Old York Times: "Scientists highlight risks of chalk deficiency"

timpanogosslim.bsky.social•521 days ago

A smidgen of chalk is actually a legit ingredient. https://bakerpedia.com/ingredients/calcium-carbonate/

c0nc0rdance.bsky.social•521 days ago

That's what makes this so easy! It's true of most things that the dose makes the poison, so you just have to misrepresent that principle to muddy the waters.

"Are increased CO2 emissions bad? Not according to plants!"

timpanogosslim.bsky.social•521 days ago

What's more amazing is that drywall dust is also a legit ingredient in both bread and beer.

u3b3rg33k.bsky.social•521 days ago

and by drywall dust you mean coal flue-gas-desulfurization (FGD) gypsum?

timpanogosslim.bsky.social•521 days ago

Calcium sulfate, yes. https://craftabrew.com/products/calcium-sulfate-gypsum-brewing

timpanogosslim.bsky.social•521 days ago

Indeed. We know that a little bit of chalk can improve bread. Are you getting enough chalk in your bread?

polyparadigm.bsky.social•521 days ago

Won’t someone think of the unfortunate fellows suffering from heartburn, who, if deprived of chalk bread, would be forced to purchase chalk lozenges at an extreme markup and significant inconvenience.

moriartystjames.bsky.social•521 days ago

"I'm going to give you a microdose of chalkbread, if you don't feel the effects in 30 minutes go ahead and eat the entire loaf."

u3b3rg33k.bsky.social•521 days ago

https://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/15166/20150615/climate-change-plants-choke-much-carbon.htm

one-underscore.bsky.social•521 days ago

could we hire the guy who is regulating the chalk content? we could give him a $500,000 a year no-show job as our director of governmental affairs, that will change his mind.

sophianyx.bsky.social•521 days ago

lollllllllllllll

clockdivider.bsky.social•521 days ago

While we understand and accept that chalk is illegal to put in bread, our customers have grown accustomed to it, so we now include a packet of chalk with each loaf. Customers may do what they wish with it.

daviderroll.bsky.social•521 days ago

ok new company

CHAWK™
Edible chalk!
Now with 50% 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘓 𝘉𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋!

Enjoy real bread flavor for half the price with delicious CHAWK™ brand breakfast "Biskuits"

daviderroll.bsky.social•521 days ago

ᴅɪsᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: ɴᴏᴛ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ 'ᴅᴇʟɪᴄɪᴏᴜs'

borderlinecool.bsky.social•521 days ago

The Secret Ingredient Used in Ancient Bread Recipes that the Constables Don't Want You to Know

serisothikos.bsky.social•521 days ago

CEO: look i'm providing valuable employment opportunities for local children in my chalk mines and keeping english jobs onshore why are you so anti-business

razzball.bsky.social•521 days ago

“Go to the board and solve the equation…” annoyed, “don’t write with your bread”

hayao.lol•521 days ago

Lauren thank u

dochaus.bsky.social•521 days ago

Mid-19th century constable: You were using child slave labor.

Time-traveling CEO: Me? I would never.

Constable: There were clearly children chained to the floor next to your machines.

Time-traveling CEO: Them? Oh they were hired by an outside contractor. I can't control what they do.

bigfatbartolocolon.bsky.social•521 days ago

ceo: I'm producing chalk bread with the blockchain!

constable: that is a child chained to a block next to the equipmemt

ceo: It's innovation! Slavery 3.0

constable: bollocks i wish i was still on witch trial duty

skepteis.bsky.social•521 days ago

But what if we put a sticker on the braid that says "designed by AI"?

skepteis.bsky.social•521 days ago

Bread, not braid. I blame AI autocorrect.

theamitie.bsky.social•521 days ago

Banger

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