Harrison Butker Announces He Can’t Kick If Women Are Watching. We're fading the Chiefs in Super Bowl LIX after Harrison Butker announced cannot and will not kick if girls are watching. - ThreadSky

wendyatlanticcan.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂😂😂 I Iove The Onion.

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shellylarson.bsky.social•15 days ago

I bet that’s not the only thing he can’t do if women are watching.

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catebridget.bsky.social•16 days ago

cover your divorce lmaoooooo

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toni1052.bsky.social•16 days ago

I very loudly guffawed.

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rubyjewellashes.bsky.social•15 days ago

Don't give a fuck about sports but am rooting SO HARD for the Eagles.

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trumpwho.bsky.social•15 days ago

Butker is a prick, a first class prick.

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hankers.bsky.social•15 days ago

Butkiss is his name

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guyfromearth1.bsky.social•15 days ago

Lefties are mentally ill. Is this supposed to be funny? He’s a top three kicker in his fifth S.B. He’s kicked in front of women every single game. He kicked the longest field goal in S.B. history. Lefties aren’t very smart.

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trggrhppykttns.bsky.social•14 days ago

#BoyCutTheSuperBowl

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trggrhppykttns.bsky.social•14 days ago

#BoycottTheSuperBowl

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4gabriel.bsky.social•16 days ago

I bet that’s not all he can’t do with women

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dawnruhnaybrown.bsky.social•14 days ago

Why is he wearing gloves?

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nosln.bsky.social•15 days ago

BOYCOTTING

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finleynpa.bsky.social•16 days ago

Someone tell him it’s ok to come out of the closet. Blaming women for his choices are a disservice to women. It’s not THEIR fault he doesn’t like girls!

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snakeyacres.bsky.social•16 days ago

🤣😂

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spikespeigel.bsky.social•16 days ago

The refs will kick for him.

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spikes23.bsky.social•16 days ago

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windyguy78.bsky.social•15 days ago

The Onion is JV. Not in Babylon Bee’s league.

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pasandy.bsky.social•16 days ago

Go, Birds!! I’ll be watching and I’ve been female for 78 years!!!!

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mind-ur-business.bsky.social•15 days ago

Me too! 63 and KC! 🤷🏻‍♀️

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dotrat617.bsky.social•16 days ago

Have a few drinks, worked for Raj.

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jenderphunk.bsky.social•15 days ago

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amstermom.bsky.social•16 days ago

He believes a woman's role during a football game is to be in the kitchen, preparing more snacks for the men. Oh, and keeping the kids quiet.

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msbak.bsky.social•16 days ago

Sounds about right .. sanctimonious bastard.

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ken-e-winnit.bsky.social•14 days ago

Big girls blouse!

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santa-guy.bsky.social•16 days ago

BS!

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halfpint.bsky.social•16 days ago

FU

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mchemar.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂

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mchemar.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂

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qitqat-bd.bsky.social•16 days ago

I guess he'll do alright since this female veteran will not be watching.

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pherman1.bsky.social•15 days ago

That’s dumb

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kickboxmom.bsky.social•15 days ago

Oh man, you can’t this s%#t up 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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jazz51.bsky.social•16 days ago

I used to know immediately that I was reading a satirical Onion piece. Nowadays, I have to glance up and see the origin before I can laugh.

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sweetiepiecat.bsky.social•15 days ago

Don’t call them ‘girls’! They are women!

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wendithajune.bsky.social•16 days ago

Oh man, I forgot about that asshole. Yet another reason to root for the EAGLES!!!!

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ncl81.bsky.social•16 days ago

For the money he is making==kick.

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sunnysideup4me.bsky.social•16 days ago

SHUT UP AND KICK!

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yesicanidiot911.bsky.social•15 days ago

Harry Butt...that's what he was relentlessly called by the girls in his eighth grade class.

No wonder he can't kick.

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fourthandone.bsky.social•16 days ago

How about tying him to a post with wax in his ears???

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dystopianeggs.bsky.social•16 days ago

@nflmemewar.bsky.social this def worth a retweet

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dystopianeggs.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂😂😂

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antifamimi.bsky.social•15 days ago

Jesus fuck.

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datsun-honeybee.bsky.social•16 days ago

Don't worry -- women won't be allowed out of the house without a male guardian very soon.

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nintendopro03.bsky.social•16 days ago

Man, that’s a depressing thing to think about.

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gracieboy.bsky.social•16 days ago

Another fascist cry baby!!

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wright60377824.bsky.social•16 days ago

I can’t stand the Chiefs ‼️ From their Trump loving QB on down, they are the worse! Rooting for the Eagles all the way 🦅

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c2art.bsky.social•14 days ago

Is this for real? if so, what an idiot.

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michagain.bsky.social•14 days ago

are you not familiar with the Onion?

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c2art.bsky.social•14 days ago

Sorry, I think I need to get some sleep. Even after your comment it didn't hit me. Maybe I'll be more awake tomorrow.

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c2art.bsky.social•14 days ago

What I meant was I can't believe anybody would be dumb enough to actually say something like that.

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lauralu222.bsky.social•15 days ago

Who’s the guy nick named Super Bowl?

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thegreatsnakeoff13.bsky.social•15 days ago

What if no one watches? That would be best.

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mlvi.bsky.social•16 days ago

Good. Big Pussy

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tiff8.bsky.social•16 days ago

I hope he breaks both ankles

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collectivist.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂😂😂😂

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tworeds830.bsky.social•16 days ago

Go Birds! 🦅

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momsrule.bsky.social•15 days ago

Pussy

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jaz52.bsky.social•15 days ago

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mind-ur-business.bsky.social•15 days ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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signalman67.bsky.social•16 days ago

We need a good derogatory acronym for Trump, Musk, and the Heritage Foundation.
I got it.
HOMO
Hateful
Old
Male
Oligarchs
Elon Musk is a HOMO.
Has a nice ring to it.

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bittencookie.bsky.social•15 days ago

FDJT! FEM!

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always4bangtan.bsky.social•15 days ago

I know this isn't an acronym, but I have to share it anyway, since I loved it so much..
https://bsky.app/profile/citizenofgilead.bsky.social/post/3lhiqvm4hys2q

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signalman67.bsky.social•15 days ago

Perfect

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citizenofgilead.bsky.social•15 days ago

I’ve had the song in my head all night 😂

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always4bangtan.bsky.social•15 days ago

I'll be singing it for a while.. 😄

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geniyus.bsky.social•15 days ago

😅😂 I love it! trump & his boot-licking, billionaire, flunkies are all big HOMO's. Although, that does give lovable homosexuals a bad name ...

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schasse60.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂🤭✌️

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apophis84.bsky.social•15 days ago

I like calling them orange mouths

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magicaljonson.bsky.social•15 days ago

They're definitely HOMOs!!! Let's go with that!!

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originaldvd.bsky.social•15 days ago

Perfect. Let's all use it now.

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aethervision.bsky.social•15 days ago

The Mike Pence of kickers.

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whardy.bsky.social•16 days ago

I’m guessing he has a “hard” time showering with his teammates.

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kimberlysarr.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂😳

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socchic.bsky.social•15 days ago

Lol

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fangled.bsky.social•16 days ago

He believes they're all in the kitchen though, so he'll be fine?

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proudsocialistd.bsky.social•15 days ago

Does that include Taylor Swift?

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erin08.bsky.social•16 days ago

Your satirical headlines are sounding more realistic and true every day. Scary AF

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erin08.bsky.social•16 days ago

🤣

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justjaylyn.bsky.social•16 days ago

I'm want to fly like an Eagle, till I'm free. Fly through the revolution. 🦅

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birdsfan63.bsky.social•16 days ago

Go Birds

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sunglasses1.bsky.social•16 days ago

Hahaha so funny

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abominaldrvibes.bsky.social•16 days ago

Harrison Butker belongs in the kitchen

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sunnydays25.bsky.social•16 days ago

😅😂🤣

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weponderj.bsky.social•16 days ago

Pence is his Uncle?

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mtshastamothership.bsky.social•16 days ago

Screaming limp dick here😂

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steve-in-nj.bsky.social•16 days ago

Or if gays are there

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tantzu.bsky.social•15 days ago

Gets a hard-on with men watching..???

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verajs.bsky.social•16 days ago

Lol. I'll be there not cheering for him.

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autumnleaf13.bsky.social•15 days ago

He also likes the light off.

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autumnleaf13.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂😂

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rickathy227.bsky.social•16 days ago

Maybe he should refuse to kick if a dictator is watching…

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bewareofthephog.bsky.social•16 days ago

I’m a Chiefs fan and find this hilarious!

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nintendopro03.bsky.social•16 days ago

Hopefully, you mean the joke and not what Butker actually said. 😭

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bewareofthephog.bsky.social•16 days ago

Absolutely! Butker is entitled to his opinion, but it’s extremely arrogant for a 28-year-old man who makes $millions kicking a football and working part time to give life advice to women just a few years younger than him.

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lemonadesunset.bsky.social•16 days ago

Dude, just admitted he can't perform around women. BWAHAHAHA!

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tekrantz.bsky.social•16 days ago

MAGA delenda est #magadelendaest

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gaybaseballfanjer.bsky.social•15 days ago

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sfvioletnyc.bsky.social•16 days ago

He’s embarrassed by his 🐫 toe

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fashionablyover60.bsky.social•15 days ago

Well hopefully he’ll have no trouble Sunday- because no one will be watching….

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sbravo707.bsky.social•16 days ago

@theonion.com Is it a draft or an auction? (Credit BruceRants)

https://bsky.app/profile/sbravo707.bsky.social/post/3lhiqo6k2ns2y

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dokterrudi.bsky.social•16 days ago

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lady-sisyphus.bsky.social•16 days ago

Took me a second (as always) to realize this is a spoof. The fact that all of these stories are actually plausible in our current situation is disconcerting.

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shoezq.bsky.social•15 days ago

We need all the WOMEN at the Superbowl to Stand Up

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meaningfulsalt.bsky.social•16 days ago

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julieis66.bsky.social•16 days ago

Big PUSS! KC gonna lose this SB

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stevie547.bsky.social•16 days ago

He just blows 😬

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jason1506.bsky.social•15 days ago

🥜🥜🥜

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fletchermagee.bsky.social•16 days ago

🤣😂🤣

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kendredspirit.bsky.social•16 days ago

Man who kicks balls for a living incites women to kick his for free.

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mind-ur-business.bsky.social•15 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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imawiser.bsky.social•15 days ago

Nailed it!

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beachpebblegirl.bsky.social•16 days ago

Instant follow for that‼️🔥💪🏼

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schasse60.bsky.social•16 days ago

🎯
Excellent take

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suedegirl66.bsky.social•15 days ago

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unskinnybopp.bsky.social•16 days ago

I literally can’t tell if this is satire or not

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samsayshello.bsky.social•15 days ago

This is the onion.

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sharongt.bsky.social•16 days ago

What does that even mean? or coming from.

If it is true & his view, the man needs serious therapy

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scparks50.bsky.social•16 days ago

Huh?

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ballsofmatzo.bsky.social•14 days ago

Chiefs fans how do you root for this guy??!

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panman72.bsky.social•16 days ago

May the SPCA pick him up and neuter him

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cbshere.bsky.social•15 days ago

name MISSPELLING!

it's Harrison FUTKER

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daspinman.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂 the twist: his wife suits up and kicks the game winner! Harrison retires to make a cook book featuring only the blandest of foods.

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alchemistwriter.bsky.social•16 days ago

You had me at, “Harrison Butker Announces He Can’t Kick.”

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courtesyhangup.bsky.social•16 days ago

Thank you for this post. I got a great laugh from it.

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sarairlbeck.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂😂😂😂😂 nailed it

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athion.bsky.social•15 days ago

Trumpanzees are "skird" of strong intelligent women and girls, which is why they want to repeal the 19th Amendment and the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

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saltyshawn.bsky.social•16 days ago

OK fine. Don't play🤷‍♀️

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wildplumbay.bsky.social•16 days ago

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trishreilly17.bsky.social•16 days ago

😂

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nateeli73.bsky.social•14 days ago

A pro gets it done no matter who’s watching.

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eeeeeeruck.bsky.social•16 days ago

Former Olympic Champion

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notimelikethenow.bsky.social•15 days ago

Ross Childs! Perfect for this ad!!

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onevoiceofmany.bsky.social•16 days ago

Trump will ban all women from the game. I think he already did that with EO#2346

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donaldkerabatsos.bsky.social•16 days ago

Good ole buttlicker…

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sdambrosio.bsky.social•16 days ago

🤣

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tomsasavage.bsky.social•15 days ago

I saw Crabman and knew it was gonna be good.

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pegbear.bsky.social•16 days ago

That's hysterical 🤣

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adlangx.bsky.social•16 days ago

The pic is just

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adgate812.bsky.social•15 days ago

I don't want to concern any of the Chiefs players or Trump so I'm going to abstain from watching the Super Bowl altogether.

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mgove.bsky.social•15 days ago

Know this Butker-ALL WOMEN ARE WATCHING

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longboardchick.bsky.social•15 days ago

OK, am I the only one who’s just delighted to see the onion on this app?!! my day just got 100% better 👍💖

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guyfromearth1.bsky.social•15 days ago

They suck.

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bambleweeny57.bsky.social•15 days ago

Then wtf are you doing here?

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mind-ur-business.bsky.social•15 days ago

Oh look, another bot troll

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grbbngtheshovel.bsky.social•15 days ago

Just block these idiots. Don't feed the trolls.

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gabepuratekuta.bsky.social•16 days ago

What about the extra head growing out of his back?

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goldenozaru.bsky.social•16 days ago

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tenor2jt.bsky.social•16 days ago

Well, according to Trump, that is literally all of us, soooooo....

FLY EAGLES FLY!!!!

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enemywith1n.bsky.social•15 days ago

Fire his asz

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ricky91white.bsky.social•16 days ago

Omg is that Ross Childs?

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hankster195173.bsky.social•15 days ago

Apparently they have to be in the kitchen or a maternity ward popping out kids according to his beliefs.

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islandlifevanisle.bsky.social•16 days ago

I can't tell if this is satire.

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jeniuskp.bsky.social•15 days ago

💀

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typomarx.bsky.social•16 days ago

I'm offering 420gazillion to one odds that Orwell will NOT win the Stupid Bowl in a landslide if anyone wants to throw some money awwway. DaftKings

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karenandrich.bsky.social•15 days ago

Make sure ole guy knows Taylor Swift will be in the stands.
On another note, maybe someone w/ stilettos can kick him.

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bobbinponytail.bsky.social•16 days ago

Fkn ✨✨gold✨✨

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annoyed-aldo.bsky.social•15 days ago

cameltoe Harrison is what we call him in the locker room

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lottamalarkyfree.bsky.social•15 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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jhvirginia.bsky.social•15 days ago

What if those women are Chiefs cheerleaders?

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dancinnan.bsky.social•16 days ago

Everytime Butker misses a kick, a dozen "girls" gat their college degree

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shocked-american.bsky.social•16 days ago

ho ho ho

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wcfk.bsky.social•16 days ago

Brutal 😆

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skywagon.bsky.social•16 days ago

A one man Christian nationalist freak show. Go Eagles.

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hugeron.bsky.social•15 days ago

Love the Chiefs, but root against Butker. Wish the Chiefs would go a different direction with their kicker. Butker is a disgusting man.

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olivia0044.bsky.social•15 days ago

Yeah exactly

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heatherrsanford.bsky.social•15 days ago

Ditto!!

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drleigh.bsky.social•16 days ago

Update: they can watch through a dark veil… in a separate section where they cannot be seen… and only after servicing their men…

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aglimpseoflondon.bsky.social•16 days ago

Oh he’s gay. Only wants to be around boys.

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10-29.bsky.social•16 days ago

trump soils everything. I can’t watch knowing that turd is in the stands.

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wendithajune.bsky.social•16 days ago

RIGHT?!

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cheridontdofake.bsky.social•16 days ago

I bet he can't screw if a girl is watching.

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mattricsystem.bsky.social•16 days ago

As a Chiefs fan… this is gold. 🤣

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lgun1.bsky.social•16 days ago

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mikepittsburgh.bsky.social•16 days ago

Taylor Swift: Kryptonite or Kelce Might?

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martiscott.bsky.social•14 days ago

jfc....we're not askin' you to pee in a cup, fercryin'outloud!!
Just kick the sucker!!!!

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kendall2343.bsky.social•15 days ago

He also can't kick while he's on his knees for Felon47. Hope the Chiefs lose because he chokes on a kick.

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deborahmiller.bsky.social•15 days ago

Id love for that to happen and I’m even a Chiefs fan🤣

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cathyh2112.bsky.social•16 days ago

Boycott the Super Bowl

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jc-allen.bsky.social•15 days ago

Can't really boycott what I've never really paid attention to in the first place. TBH, I thought it was a couple of weeks ago.

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cathyh2112.bsky.social•15 days ago

Lol...you are already on board!

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jc-allen.bsky.social•15 days ago

I'm on board with not paying attention to the Super Bowl, but I'm not entirely sure of the reason for a boycott. Is it because the bearded guy, who looks an awful lot like the gay porn actor Alpha Wolf, is a pseudo-Christian zealot, or is there more going on?

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cathyh2112.bsky.social•15 days ago

More. The NFL removed End Racism from the end zones and Shit in Office will be attending. Besides it is one of the biggest capitalistic event of the year, lower ratings hurt big money.

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jc-allen.bsky.social•15 days ago

If I cared in the slightest about football, I'd be all in on your boycott.

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quirky-gal.bsky.social•16 days ago

What is wrong with people

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beshannonphotos.bsky.social•16 days ago

Not watching anyway

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glolala911.bsky.social•15 days ago

Butfkr can piss all the way off!

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trarob1964.bsky.social•16 days ago

Awwww he’s just mad because all the girls know he’s nothing more than a flaccid, crybaby!!!

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corit153m.bsky.social•15 days ago

😁😁

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nvtl.bsky.social•16 days ago

Harrison BUTtlicKER

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ksulemon33.bsky.social•16 days ago

I'm all for the chiefs but if they lose because he misses a kick. Karma

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maiziemom.bsky.social•16 days ago

WTF

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neighbor1941.bsky.social•16 days ago

I'll punch that bitch square in his mug if I ever see him in person.

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bluehairedgranny.bsky.social•16 days ago

All Eagles fans plan to attend the SB topless.

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scout4locations.bsky.social•15 days ago

If you have a Tesla charging station near you, it is time for the annual inspection. Bring plenty of super-glue adhesive. The charging ports require a liberal amount of it to clean the plugs that are inserted into the vehicle. Use plenty of it. Get it deep down and all around. Let it sit overnight.

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liberalrage.bsky.social•15 days ago

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆
Fed workers
This

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mrtict19.bsky.social•16 days ago

Could be the Eagles might win

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francophile100.bsky.social•16 days ago

This is Gold

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blue307.bsky.social•16 days ago

I know this is comedy, but I hate that guy.

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robertredway.bsky.social•16 days ago

Can't laugh at this. Dude should be benched or cut
The nfl likes their abusers. But usually it's irreplaceable stars. This dude isn't even th leagues best kicker

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jensdad4biden.bsky.social•16 days ago

Oh ffs 🤦‍♀️!! lol 😂

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delightfulmike.bsky.social•15 days ago

This extreme degree of insecurity can only be caused by one thing. One “micro” thing…

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holdencaulfield-jr.bsky.social•15 days ago

Camel toe on a dude is never a good look

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applesandoranges1.bsky.social•15 days ago

You mean this?

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shugarbooger.bsky.social•15 days ago

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ponderit.bsky.social•15 days ago

Very funny…could be true

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hughie951.bsky.social•15 days ago

Embarrassing lack of bulge

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steve-c-kc.bsky.social•16 days ago

I badly want the chiefs to win but if they lose I hope it’s his fault 🤣

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moxietom.bsky.social•16 days ago

I've been to quite a few games for my home team and heard some hateful and racist things from other fans. Now when they win I'm glad of that, and when they lose I picture these bigots sad, and that makes me happy too.

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olivia0044.bsky.social•15 days ago

😂😂😂

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nintendopro03.bsky.social•16 days ago

Same. 😂

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