Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy theonion.com/man-wai... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 3 days ago

Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy
https://theonion.com/man-waiting-until-parents-die-before-doing-a-single-thi-1819572056/

Comments

smallfunny.bsky.social•3 days ago

"man"

yesnek.bsky.social•3 days ago

Hahahahaa it's sad but true. Cultures can be weird.

xanderzzyzx.bsky.social•3 days ago

For many many closeted people, this is reality, sadly.

songknifekyrin.bsky.social•3 days ago

THIS

vmarshmellow.bsky.social•3 days ago

I can relate

hungerman.bsky.social•3 days ago

As much as it pains me to say I can relate I live with a malignant narcissist but family is important and I've a dept to pay

someguypdx.bsky.social•2 days ago

I'm pretty sure this is the way.

tiegamereview.bsky.social•3 days ago

Make sure they die with the knowledge that telling a twelve year old that he is a worthless little shit and for the next five years til he’s big enough to establish that that will no longer be accepted,

Is wrong. Stay strong, Onion article character

bsattva.bsky.social•3 days ago

One of my proudest accomplishments as a parent is knowing that my kids will only understand this through the eyes of their friends.

nogoblins.bsky.social•3 days ago

Literally me

nargacugal.bsky.social•3 days ago

Me if I was a man if I'm being honest

scruffer99.bsky.social•3 days ago

Seems like he's happy to wait for them to die 🤷‍♂️

proudbulba.bsky.social•3 days ago

you dont have to wait and you dont have to ever speak to your parents again

yakkolicious.bsky.social•3 days ago

Oh my God, it's me-

maya-weiss.bsky.social•3 days ago

*inhales*

kukulzamortis.bsky.social•2 days ago

Is this a suicide joke?

kuhlonel.bsky.social•3 days ago

Why does he look like that millionaire trying to make himself immortal?

jacquiedat.bsky.social•3 days ago

Me except I couldn't hold out that long.

steviediamond.bsky.social•3 days ago

Are they an egg? 🍳🏳️‍⚧️

valhallantrooper.bsky.social•3 days ago

This almost happened to me actually.

komabaichirou.posts.art•3 days ago

its great to hear that you didnt fall into that trap ❤

valhallantrooper.bsky.social•3 days ago

Well it came to the point where I was so depressed I had to do something or not exist. My parents disowned me and haven’t spoken to me in 6 years but despite that pain its still the happiest 6 years of my life so far. They no longer own me

komabaichirou.posts.art•3 days ago

it's awful that they did this to you, but i'm glad you stuck around & are here to tell the tale. i'm not in a situation this dire, but it does give me hope that i & others will make it too

valhallantrooper.bsky.social•3 days ago

You can always make it. Its never too late to be yourself. Just make sure you live for yourself and not for others unless you choose to do so. Its not easy, but its worth it in the long run

gramathy.bsky.social•3 days ago

No, just depressed and crippled by expectations, real or not

thelollykitty.bsky.social•3 days ago

EGG :3

komabaichirou.posts.art•3 days ago

oh god this might be me

wintermute2045.bsky.social•3 days ago

Creeping up on 30 and this one’s not funny anymore.

liverstealer.bsky.social•3 days ago

The realness.

4jinxremoving.bsky.social•3 days ago

Is that...Mark Ronson?

numberphile.bsky.social•3 days ago

it me

alarz.bsky.social•3 days ago

Ouch, you're right, it's time for a change in my life

bsorohan.bsky.social•3 days ago

Taking care of an elderly parent can be a fulfilling job, but you will have to say goodbye to watching R rated movies on TV for the duration.

free2playlesspays.bsky.social•3 days ago

those must be some shit parents ruining all the fun

cozyiestpunk.bsky.social•3 days ago

thought this was gonna be a funny one but... mr fictional brian im so, so sorry. 😭

charlierichmond.bsky.social•3 days ago

been there, done that

piebrain.bsky.social•3 days ago

Man goes to casino and Vegas whorehouse after parents make him miserable his whole life on his inheritance money

talos111.bsky.social•3 days ago

D&D party on hiatus because the host and his girlfriend (also a player) broke up. Been thinking of joining one online but live with parents, one is disabled and both call on me often to the point I barely play MP games now…

Yea, this hits a *little* close to home, how could you tell?

christianlw.bsky.social•3 days ago

How long until he kills his parents, than taxidermies their bodies?

maggiebgood.bsky.social•3 days ago

I know someone just like him.

katefox1.bsky.social•3 days ago

When you’re in long term elder care with them that’s kind of hard to avoid.

jeniuskp.bsky.social•3 days ago

This one…not satire

queerbird.bsky.social•3 days ago

This hurt when It was first published and it hurts now. At least I'm on T now, the one thing I refued to give up on

nurnielfa.bsky.social•3 days ago

That hit too close

valociraptor.bsky.social•3 days ago

I have no idea why it's like this.

threearrows3.bsky.social•3 days ago

This is me from 35 to 50 lol

idealvoid.dev•3 days ago

he just like me fr

fantasmavie.bsky.social•13 hours ago

True.

skyhawkillusions.bsky.social•2 days ago

oh no.... oh no......

may-molding.bsky.social•3 days ago

many closeted people are saying this

inn-8.bsky.social•3 days ago

I know we have @notdontrmp.bsky.social but what about @gaydonaldtrump.bsky.social Omg he does exist lmao

evelyn.woke.cat•3 days ago

too many such cases

mofu.run•3 days ago

do you need bloomfies to provide you illegal juice eve

evelyn.woke.cat•3 days ago

HOPEFULLY on own in some way within next few months then i can order diy!! :D

mofu.run•3 days ago

I'M GLAD TO HEAR!!! but really, if you need help in the meantime, you know who to poke

evelyn.woke.cat•3 days ago

oka ty sof!!!

outrageous.bsky.social•3 days ago

Parents and all my peers. Being alone in the nursing home, I’ll finally be free

cyanlol.bsky.social•3 days ago

As an autistic guy, this hits too close to home lmao

mediocrepoolboy.bsky.social•3 days ago

Oh...a fellow GenXer/Xennial I see!!!

amuly.bsky.social•3 days ago

Sorry how’d you get an interview with my brother?

thecoywolfzearoth.bsky.social•2 days ago

Part of being lgbtq+ unless you have an accepting family.

drunkenlemur.bsky.social•3 days ago

And then she'll finally be happy.

writerfrog99.bsky.social•3 days ago

Hey, I didn't come here to be called out like that😅

msfernan.bsky.social•3 days ago

This one hits too close to home

junmainook.bsky.social•3 days ago

Statistically, he did have a bit of a splurge last November

zebbo.bsky.social•3 days ago

I thought The Onion was satire, not reality.

onyx3685.bsky.social•3 days ago

I took physical damage from this one. Thanks y'all 🙃.

flykip.bsky.social•3 days ago

Thank god this has encouraged me to smoke meth and fuck hookers

flykip.bsky.social•3 days ago

It's been a lifelong dream of mine but I'm worried of disappointing my mommy

flykip.bsky.social•3 days ago

And also my father

joshulicious.bsky.social•3 days ago

u should definitely do it. yolo and all that

happyhiram.bsky.social•3 days ago

That was me

scott347.bsky.social•3 days ago

Sorry. Can't reach em. Their generation pulled the ladder up behind them 😂

rob-rainbolt.bsky.social•3 days ago

You published my story without my permission! 😦

actionb4st4rd.bsky.social•3 days ago

This was me, and I finally crack, lmao.

mister-sterling.bsky.social•3 days ago

This happens. This is real.

luxiouss.bsky.social•3 days ago

hits too close

sphecida.bsky.social•3 days ago

Touché!

teftuft.leporid.net•3 days ago

ouch

skyinlatin.bsky.social•3 days ago

Im SO glad that my son is not doing this 😆

csolisr.azkware.net•3 days ago

At this rate, I'll probably have to wait until then to have enough free time for myself, yeah

mlmlucio.bsky.social•3 days ago

Ooomph. That callout was so loud it made me get an appoitment to get a helix piercing.

florisartist.bsky.social•3 days ago

The couch was too old to donate to JD and ended up in the local doctors rooms.

vieventar.bsky.social•3 days ago

...

Well shit.

gbaji.bsky.social•3 days ago

Too accurate to re-post.

in0ske.bsky.social•2 days ago

I'm worried this will be me

atlasbun.bsky.social•3 days ago

I hope she eventually lives as her authentic self.

vagabond-studio.bsky.social•3 days ago

Oh god that one's a bit too close 💀

captainblitz.bsky.social•3 days ago

It might be the death of his parents that brings him happiness tho

yonahg.bsky.social•3 days ago

As a self respecting gay fellow, the number of adults who are still worrying about their parent’s love is at best disappointing. Who they loving?, some unauthentic caricature that you’ve constructed? Be you instead. Love yourself more!

drmechano.bsky.social•3 days ago

Yeah, but if you want their inheritance you might have to keep the act up.

I know that sounds cynical, but hey. Some people need that money.

yonahg.bsky.social•3 days ago

I’m more valuable than money. Period. Some folks might really need the money, but in my experience, most are just being cowardly.

strawberryskates.bsky.social•3 days ago

I'd argue that self preservation, financial or emotional, aren't cowardly. My parents don't know I take HRT because I don't wanna have that convo for my own sanity's sake (even tho I don't think they'd be upset).