Sun-Maid Announces Girl In Logo Has Always Been Sentient Raisin Disguising Self In Human Flesh theonion.com/sun-mai... - ThreadSky

horror4h.bsky.social•1 day ago

Honestly I don't know how I didn't see it. Well long as she's happy and healthy. Girl/raisinboss!

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down10.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Worth clicking and reading the article! lmao

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grumpy0ldman84.bsky.social•1 day ago

😆

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amethystdreams.cc•1 day ago

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2201320/Date_Everything/

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laurenflans.bsky.social•1 day ago

real ones already knew this

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andyredplanet.bsky.social•1 day ago

She's only saying this now in order to squirm outta her upcoming cage match with the Land O’Lakes Butter Maiden

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deirdreassenza.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is true

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starwarswhisperer.bsky.social•1 day ago

I live near their corporate headquarters and I can verify this.

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jslez.bsky.social•1 day ago

No i looked into it and it’s false

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jslez.bsky.social•1 day ago

I did my own research

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arleighhelfer.bsky.social•1 day ago

Just like Hello Kitty!

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memymine123.bsky.social•13 hours ago

I,d still eat it

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therealjdog17.bsky.social•1 day ago

Mandela effect in play

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shazamdelstl.bsky.social•1 day ago

Shouldn’t have said that. Now ICE is gonna deport her. #fucktrump

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wacamongus.bsky.social•1 day ago

Maggie Haberman?

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reclinerking.bsky.social•1 day ago

My education stopped just short of learning the definition of sentient. After I looked it up, I realized all that happened is I learned what sentient means in a sentient way.

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eddie.cloud•1 day ago

I knew it!

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desertsquatch.bsky.social•1 day ago

Her name is: AE765a12!

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ft-friendly.bsky.social•1 day ago

🙄 God created everything from the Sun...

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ivyweber95.bsky.social•1 day ago

I thought she was a cat girl who sleeps with a detective cereal dog!

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cuil.world•1 day ago

california raisins x silence of the lambs collab

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sechsy.bsky.social•1 day ago

Spooky 👻

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not-that-brian.bsky.social•1 day ago

Well, that's a plot twist I didn't see coming. All along, we've been deceived by a raisin. Can't trust anyone these days.

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bdyguy.bsky.social•1 day ago

Whew! Thought she was deported.

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popgeek79.bsky.social•1 day ago

Still would.

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nickz2112.bsky.social•1 day ago

Thank you!

This was so funny I just did a spit take after a crazy day.

Thank you!

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nobodyowens1.bsky.social•1 day ago

Tina Fey sans glasses???

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1in8billion.bsky.social•1 day ago

She's probably illegal, round her up & ship her out!

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yorkdukeyork.bsky.social•1 day ago

Good for her!

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hla3452.bsky.social•1 day ago

My nephew is the president.

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tuneraider.bsky.social•1 day ago

I KNEW it ….

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arsegrammatica.bsky.social•1 day ago

She moisturizes enough so that the wrinkles are barely visible.

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funkadeefunk.bsky.social•1 day ago

They walk among us

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subsapient.bsky.social•1 day ago

"It puts the grape must on its skin!"

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emberblades.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it! They said I was crazy, but I knew the truth!

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graceheart95.bsky.social•18 hours ago

I thought the Onion is supposed to be satirical. 🙄

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tragicmammal.bsky.social•1 day ago

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edgbaboon.bsky.social•1 day ago

There we go!
The libs are at it again!

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danontheearth.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Could be worse. It could have been ten thousand raisins in a human skin suit.

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samkablam.bsky.social•1 day ago

Also, what's with that basket? Its like a wicker tray more than anything else. Kind of seems like an inconvenient way to pluck grapes off the vine, it doesn't even have handles!

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joegofar.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Should have gone with "Trump Administration Deports Sun-Maid Logo Girl to El Salvador. Claiming She is MS-13 Leader. "

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groeblbubble.bsky.social•1 day ago

That just makes her more attractive.

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eoghan01.bsky.social•1 day ago

I think everyone knew that already, right?

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birchcraft.bsky.social•1 day ago

Man, that’s craisin 🤭

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stevenilevey.bsky.social•1 day ago

LOL who writes stuff

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themadtinker.bsky.social•1 day ago

his name is literally Onion. it tells you right there 🤣

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marlipie.bsky.social•1 day ago

I’m not excited about sentient raisins, but I deferentially accept the new reality you have written for us.

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0b-or-boris.bsky.social•1 day ago

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thryse.com•1 day ago

yeah ok JKR, trying for your cheap raisin retcon

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buckyrea.bsky.social•1 day ago

Their "raisin d'etre" one might say

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frozzbot.bsky.social•22 hours ago

The grapes are old.

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glenpentez.bsky.social•1 day ago

My wife had childhood nightmares about the Sun-Maid girl, she says this checks out.

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rykophoenix.bsky.social•1 day ago

It’s giving Hello Kitty vibes

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buckyrea.bsky.social•1 day ago

Sounds like sour grapes to me

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mlpqlm.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wait till you find out about the Coppertone girl.

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brandy-snap.bsky.social•1 day ago

"She longs to be accepted by humanity, but also hates us, living trapped in a world where she harvests her own kind. This is the story of Sun-Maid"

I'm glad I stopped eating raisins as a kid. 😹

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frandryubogen.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Onion can’t post any political satire anymore in fear of predicting yet another cataclysm xD

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zagblackice.bsky.social•17 hours ago

I crave for headlines like these. Just pure nonsense, not a possible link to reality.

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harmlessenough.bsky.social•1 day ago

The sentient raisin thing has been done to death.

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cuarentonengdl.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it!!

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djinnx.bsky.social•1 day ago

She went no-contact with her bio dad (see below) when she started passing as human. He really misses her.

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cargobiker530.bsky.social•1 day ago

The Onion can say "dryad" here. Even if it sounds a little too woody.

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danod.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Can’t write Sun-Maid without AI.

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straightarrow67.bsky.social•1 day ago

Hmmm. I identify her as a girl.

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birchisms.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Also rumored to be seen with the Jolly Green Giant and covered with butter.

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inkedintrovert.bsky.social•1 day ago

Lol

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bionicdance.bsky.social•1 day ago

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patrickpoll.bsky.social•1 day ago

I KNEW IT!

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cgdavidb.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it

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whatrothysays.bsky.social•16 hours ago

hello kitty ass raisin

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nerdyheisenberg.bsky.social•1 day ago

Seems legit

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jedipuddin.bsky.social•1 day ago

fucking knew it.

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10thpoet.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it!

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askquestionsfirst.bsky.social•1 day ago

I mean seriously, what are you guys smoking?!?

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semmiotic.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is not news. Everyone knows this.

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damptowel.bsky.social•1 day ago

Big ass white raisin

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bobhoyng.bsky.social•1 day ago

I missed this was The Onion at first, and figured another brand's social media people had cracked. :)

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mirakur.us•1 day ago

I thought the Onion was satire

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libelproof.bsky.social•1 day ago

Nice to see the Onion take a break from the ongoing political hellscape to bestow some body horror onto our timelines as a treat.

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chachapaisley.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wah???

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ohyeahduh.bsky.social•1 day ago

Noticeable satire! You did it!

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buckyrea.bsky.social•1 day ago

I've missed it too.

Anyway, I'm sure they'll be back to just mimicking reality by tomorrow.

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ohyeahduh.bsky.social•1 day ago

Or giving them ideas.

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mongoosehanson.bsky.social•1 day ago

Does that mean she’s going to be deported, or….

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markheath1.bsky.social•1 day ago

Girl in logo launches go-fund-me for melanoma treatment

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unclejayhawk.bsky.social•1 day ago

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ogdavisxmachina.bsky.social•1 day ago

¿Esa chica? ¿Tiene sus papeles en regla?

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rockpickscience.bsky.social•1 day ago

Ella no necesita _#%*&@$_ papeles!

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bonshob.bsky.social•1 day ago

A peddler of flesh. The bitter grape of depravity

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ms-majima.bsky.social•1 day ago

Meanwhile I just went to the MoMA.

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didabrown.bsky.social•1 day ago

Worst Grateful Dead album cover

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joeybee12.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it!!

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lobleytea.bsky.social•1 day ago

You can tell because her hair is just made out of raisins

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hallowxd.bsky.social•1 day ago

when you do drugd

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heidiheidilim.bsky.social•1 day ago

Someone was definitely high while coming up with this 🤣

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ukrainian777.bsky.social•1 day ago

😳wtf

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buckyrea.bsky.social•1 day ago

I guess that explains the screaming I hear every time I eat an oatmeal cookie

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kleinekarlijn.bsky.social•1 day ago

This sounds like a Tingler.

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97wolverine.bsky.social•1 day ago

So a #TransRaisin? They are going to lose #Inbred business.

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ekkochambers.bsky.social•1 day ago

Raisins be like: Transrasinism is a dangerous philosophy, the belief that we can ascend into humanhood (idfk.)

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thiefkingix.bsky.social•1 day ago

That would explain the vacant stare in her eyes.

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houseofb.bsky.social•1 day ago

I heard she was apprehended by ICE and disappeared to El Salvador.

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rightwing-jesus.bsky.social•1 day ago

Is this so people think that the grapes are picked by a white girl instead of a Mexican dude?

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undeadben.bsky.social•1 day ago

i knew it!

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eaglestorm.bsky.social•1 day ago

Raisins together strong!

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lightsings.bsky.social•1 day ago

She was a real person. I went to school with her granddaughter.

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milessebastian.bsky.social•1 day ago

Did you make out?

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lightsings.bsky.social•1 day ago

Not my type.

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sarcasmoultrablam.bsky.social•1 day ago

She's a "Transraisinal"!!

😋

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partiallyconvinced.bsky.social•17 hours ago

She doesn't look like she's from around here, surprised she wasn't deported.

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hishuithesnake.bsky.social•16 hours ago

So it's not a sin to masturbate to it?

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myselfnzyme.bsky.social•1 day ago

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wchrisg0528.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it.

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tristancall.bsky.social•1 day ago

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patheticclown.bsky.social•1 day ago

The plot thickens...

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finishay.bsky.social•1 day ago

i fucking knew it.

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ameliaregalia.bsky.social•1 day ago

Called that shit in 1983.

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smuggyboi.bsky.social•1 day ago

Took the words right out of my mouth

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milessebastian.bsky.social•1 day ago

They live among us people!

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sticks2maintenance.bsky.social•1 day ago

I knew it... Well that's raisin a bunch of questions, though...

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rynrrck.bsky.social•1 day ago

@mikelovesbeer.com

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