When I know it’s a scammer using a sequential dialler I pick the phone up and say ‘you’re through to… (inserts name of local police force) how can I help you?’ Strangely, the line goes dead! 🤣🤣
My go to is “Arlington Huntleigh! Irelan! Go to tire spot!” If they ask for me I say “oh this happens al ta time; something about our number here is sismilar to yours”….I’ve only done this twice but it was very exciting when it did!
I like this one!I often let sales call talk me into agreeing to buy something.Then,tell them they have to explain it to my conservator as she has control of my bank accounts.They usually take me off their call list,I get entertained(retired). They can't try and con someone else while talking to me🙃
I answer my phone and immediately put it on "Mute" so there is nothing to hear. Just dead space. I have reduced spam calls by about 40% since starting this beginning of November.
My dad taught me that one. I would answer at first just in case it was his doctors office calling (I dealt with his healthcare until he passed), but if it was the extended warranty shit, I'd just say "hang on I'll go get him!", hit the mute, turn speaker on, and wait til they hung up
I used to answer with the same into I had to use at my job in high school, sadly "Blockbuster video, ____ speaking, how may I help you?" no longer works.
Some Android phones have a Call Screen feature that lets you have an automated flow for taking and transcribing calls on the fly and selecting automated responses without actually answering. A lot of callers just hang up anyway. Don't know about iOS but I would be surprised if there's no equivalent.
Decades ago, my and my gf's answering message changed frequently (she was a good singer 🙂).
One short one I did was simply, "Domino's Pizza, please hold."
Her mom didn't think it was very funny. 🤷🏼♀
When I get a spam/scam call I will answer by making the "boop" sound like the automated callers make, then say in a robotic voice, "Hello. This is Mary from Senior Care. Can you hear me okay?" (or Mary from Auto Claims).
I sing at them. When they stop talking I stop singing. Then if they stayed on and start talking again, I continue singing. Whatever comes to mind, usually filled with profanities, until they hang up.
I managed to get the extended car warranty people to stop calling me by telling them I drive a "1986 Ford Bastardwagon".
Turns out they don't cover that model, what a damn shame. :(
I get so many wrong numbers at work. No matter how I answer the phone they don't listen. They just start rambling on about intimate details of their life. They actually want their OB Gyn physician's office.
Who are all these people getting calls from actual humans? 99% of my rings come from robots. They don't care what you say when you answer -- they're gonna launch their spiel no matter what. (Some of us, for work-related reasons, have to answer all calls, even from unfamiliar numbers.)
I have to pick up and say "Hello," for professional reasons. I conduct interviews; nearly always the calls are from spoofed numbers, but I have to answer anyway. After my "Hello" the first sound is an annoying little "boip" tone, followed by a robot's "Hello?" If I utter a sound...then comes spiel.
No. If I make any sound at all -- even if I just fart into the phone -- that signals the robot that it's got a live one, and to pursue its programmed course. There is no escape. There is no solution. There used to be enforceable laws, but apparently no longer.
For spam numbers, I answer “Congratulations!! You’re caller #10 on radio WNOT-2DAY,what’s your name and where are you calling from?” They’re either confused or immediately hang up.
I usually text the “we want to buy your home” people back with, “$5 cash, small bills, and an NDA and never dig in the NW corner.” BUT I was waiting on a call back from a place and had to answer calls I didn’t recognize. Got one of the buyer people in person. Used the same script-they hung up. LOL
OMG, my friends and I used to do it in high school (the 80s) "Go ahead caller, you're on the air" back before caller ID - people on the other end would sound befuddled! 😆
Ages ago, I worked for Domino's Pizza for 6 years. I answered the phones and took orders. Huge volume.
For YEARS...I would answer my OWN phone at HOME with... "Thanks for calling Domino's Pizza...We deliver in 30 minutes or less. May I take your order?"
"Click" was usually the next sound 🤣
Had friends with the opposite problem, their number was accidentally published in an advertisement for Pizza Hut. At first they politely explained to callers but in the end just took the orders with the promise that if its not there in 30m your pizza is free and you get your money back.
We have a similar situation here in town where the Mammogram Center and Tree service have the same name.
So when we call the tree service looking to schedule a breast exam, they joke and say... Unless you want something lobbed off, you're better off with the other number 🤣
So glad I'm not alone 😁
And it really took YEARS to go away. It was just SO ingrained.
I even did it when I picked up the phone at my parents house, not thinking. 🤣
Oh the *horror* for my mother 😭
Then there's always: "Press 1 for English, press 2 for Spanish. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next available agent. Your are 147th in line."
I've done this for years; love it when people play along. Also used a call-in clip of Bill Murray from National Lampoon's Radio Dinner album on my machine back in the day. Got some great messages from that.
Also when folks here say they are giving out money I always respond "Great! I'll meet you in person. I can drive ANYWHERE if you are giving me money!" but for some reason they then quit talking to me.😉
answer your phone with an automated voice saying "this conversation is being recorded for security and training purposes" and you'll mostly get the same result
holst, the planets? we'll start with Mars. or a system that calls you back and forces you to listen to an audio version of Njáls saga, till we put your party is available
see, i considered having a live radio show where i’d let ppl call in but ultimately was afraid ppl would ruin it by saying gross stuff. i seriously thought about it for a while tho.
' live ' radio shows use a tape loop ( probably electronic now of course ) system - if there is gross stuff they stop the tape and the gross stuff isnt broadcast - there is a brief pause then the ' dead air ' system cuts in with the ads or promo tape.
My ex used to DJ a college radio station, everything was on a ~20 second delay. There was a "dump button" if something bad was said that would purge the most recent 5 seconds before it was broadcast.
Then the audio would be slowed to like 0.95 speed to rebuild the buffer.
I tried this once - "Cook County morgue Bar and Grill, you k!ll em we grill em" and it turned out to be someone I had called about window replacement. So embarrassing!!
When he arrived at my house for the estimate he asked for a burger. I turned 30 shades of red. I'm not an audacious person I was just so tired of spam calls and lashed out. I guess that what happens when you get old and shit just flies out of your mouth. Omg
Getting older has made me realize that life is way to serious all the time... So make me laugh or go home! You're pretty cool Brenda, I shall follow! 😁☮️
That's what I say! When people keep calling back, I find saying 'State Police, how may I help you?' keeps them from calling back. And, of course, I am from Michigan.
I dunno, I literally worked for the CRA (Canada's equivalent of the IRS) and even when I answered the phone saying where I worked, the tax return fraudsters would still continue their script.
Answer as usual, if it's a scammer you 'transfer' to another line and say "Hello, and welcome to Scam Watch live on WKRP Cincinnati!!
What's your story?"
Genius! This might just be the ultimate spam call kryptonite. Bonus points if you throw in some fake radio static for dramatic effect. “Hello, you’re on the air—what’s your question for today’s guest?” Click. Silence never sounded so sweet!
I was called once by a number I didn't know and when I answered I didn't know what to say so I just yelled "WHAT" in the most aggressive voice. It just came out of me.
Thanks for calling the Federal Scam hot line.
Please leave you business registration and sellers permit numbers.
All your information has been forwarded to the enforcement agencies...
Comments
you just reminded me about how i’d put ppl on hold and play music or funny stuff to get them to hang up.
They hang up or long silent pause. Lol
a recording of the operator message, "The number you've called has been disconnected."
*shudder*
Usually gets a click.
And if I know who's calling I'm sending a text asking why they didn't just text me.
One short one I did was simply, "Domino's Pizza, please hold."
Her mom didn't think it was very funny. 🤷🏼♀
Hi youve reached telecoms outgoing incorporated how may i direct your call
Wards off alot of scammers
They love that gag at church.
Turns out they don't cover that model, what a damn shame. :(
For YEARS...I would answer my OWN phone at HOME with... "Thanks for calling Domino's Pizza...We deliver in 30 minutes or less. May I take your order?"
"Click" was usually the next sound 🤣
We have a similar situation here in town where the Mammogram Center and Tree service have the same name.
So when we call the tree service looking to schedule a breast exam, they joke and say... Unless you want something lobbed off, you're better off with the other number 🤣
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut my name is Sarah, will this be pickup or delivery?
And it really took YEARS to go away. It was just SO ingrained.
I even did it when I picked up the phone at my parents house, not thinking. 🤣
Oh the *horror* for my mother 😭
Family and friends would laugh. Others would hang up.
'Hi, caller! You're on the air! What's up for discussion?' Some folks run with it. Some fumble
Then the audio would be slowed to like 0.95 speed to rebuild the buffer.
(damn it... I'm on my phone rn... I'm not doing life... 😭)
Speaking
Who is that?
You rang me
...
Can I speak to the head of the household?
She's not home
...
Click
On a support line.
Not the brightest bulbs.
What's your story?"
I like you.
If it's important, they'll leave a message
Caller #5, for $10,000, who was the original drummer for The Beatles?
Or...
Oh my God! The baby's on fire!
Or...
Hewwwoah? (In my best Elmer Fudd voice, which is actually pretty good).
They hang up so fast.
Fun to say and it works.
That works too.
Thanks for calling the Federal Scam hot line.
Please leave you business registration and sellers permit numbers.
All your information has been forwarded to the enforcement agencies...