I'm on a filmmaker chat group and tonight we're sharing our favorite terrible reviews of our films and nothing will heal your soul like seeing incredibly talented creatives getting roasted by truly tasteless people. We're HOWLING in here. Everyone has haters; accepting that makes making art easier. - ThreadSky

crobertcargill.bsky.social • 19 days ago

I'm on a filmmaker chat group and tonight we're sharing our favorite terrible reviews of our films and nothing will heal your soul like seeing incredibly talented creatives getting roasted by truly tasteless people. We're HOWLING in here. Everyone has haters; accepting that makes making art easier.

Comments

li11tlebuck9.bsky.social•19 days ago

Coming from an up coming drawer, painter, and possible filmmaker and actor

bitchinville.bsky.social•18 days ago

The first Batman comic I ever wrote, a completely intentional and loving tribute to the live-action TV show, was given a bad review that read, in part, something like, “these guys only know Batman from the TV show.”

catherinerussell.bsky.social•19 days ago

I once had a review that was so bad I printed it, had it framed and hung it in the loo. Every visit was a hoot!

luckyladyinstepney.bsky.social•17 days ago

😂

maazhamid.bsky.social•19 days ago

Absolutely beautiful ❤️

brandonwjones.bsky.social•19 days ago

My favorite review of my novel on Goodreads was "The dirtiest of trash. Avoid at all costs". It's literary fiction that deals with human trafficking out of North Korea and was blurbed by Alice Walker, so not exactly the smut the review would suggest. Priceless.

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

I'm sorry you had to deal with that insane review (which seems completely divorced from the subject matter of your novel) but it is pretty funny that some of these would-be critics are so well, loony.

brandonwjones.bsky.social•19 days ago

Fortunately by then I had heard the whole gamut of responses, so I just read it, laughed and shared it with the world. It's the 3 star reviews that really sting. I put in all this work and all you get is "Meh"?

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

Developing a tough skin is vital as a writer but that doesn't make it easy. So kudos to you! Yeah, the 3 stars and the "meh" response are actually worse. Generally such reviews tend to be written by people jaded by access to too much content; they're seldom a reflection on the quality of the work.

itsfrenchy.bsky.social•19 days ago

I would frame that.

brandonwjones.bsky.social•19 days ago

I tried to get my publisher to put it on the paperback jacket.

itsfrenchy.bsky.social•19 days ago

Your publisher failed. Maybe it’s the gallows humor I thrive on, but I’m an avid reader and I would have howled if I read that in a bookstore and added it to my stack. Immediate purchase.

brandonwjones.bsky.social•19 days ago

Right? I think it would have made a nice counterpoint to what Alice Walker said. I think both-sides-ing should become standard blurb practice.

tigerpournelle.bsky.social•19 days ago

You should see the reviews we teachers get.

bethmorgan.bsky.social•19 days ago

One of my friends got a review comparing her to Attila the Hun, she was delighted.

drakobangz.bsky.social•19 days ago

Can you add me? This seems cool.

I haven’t directed a film per se but in high school I missed a lot of school and had to volunteer directing children across the street after school.

ksgant.bsky.social•19 days ago

That's why I have nothing but contempt for the "critic" profession. A review of ANYTHING artistic...be it movies, books, music, paintings...boils down to one person's subjective opinion. I don't care how many degrees or Pulitzers they have, it's still just subjective.

Analysis is different, though.

janbellina.bsky.social•19 days ago

I always wondered what gives reviewers the authority to slag off, denigrate or otherwise belittle a film? Why does anyone listen to them? I've not seen one who has any background in the craft, apart from professional Cinema seat warmer. I'd much rather trust, aggregated, 1000 unpaid online reviews.

generalrusty78.bsky.social•19 days ago

They go by the idea of, "I have watched enough movies I got this" which might work for writing if you're into basic bitch shit, but watching movies doesn't teach you about lighting, or sound

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

Yeah, it's puzzling. Professional reviewers should have the appropriate background and expertise, be fair and have a system in place when it comes to reviewing something. They shouldn't try to pass off an opinion piece as a review.

janbellina.bsky.social•19 days ago

I think l some of them are just verbal bullies who've found a way to be paid for it.

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

Well-put! While there are undoubtedly many qualified critics who take their work seriously, there are are also some who've found a platform that allows them to claim false authority and use this to bully others.

leighanneallen.bsky.social•19 days ago

Yeah, it's puzzling for sure. Who would've thought film school graduates and people who study filmmaking would make a good critic, I say sarcastically. You would be shocked by the necessary credentials and expertise it takes to get a job like that. You need a lot of education. Just sayin.

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

I'm always interested in gaining more insight about how it works overseas. In many local publications, the critics are not qualified in the relevant fields. I knew a local film critic who had a background in medicine but not in film. Sadly his reviews reflected that lack of knowledge.

leighanneallen.bsky.social•19 days ago

A film critic with no experience in film. Wow! Sounds like an incredible waste of money. Nice to know, though.
I wonder if that critic talks about movies with his patients!🤣🤣

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

My husband and I used to work for a political cartoonist. So local newspapers etc. Lots of dodgy stuff happened behind the scenes. Sounds like things are more tightly run in your neck of the woods :) Yeah, pretty sure Dr. Critic drew on some of his patients' opinions when he didn't watch a film!

jnmograph.bsky.social•19 days ago

Fun...sounds cathartic AF

ebcollis.bsky.social•19 days ago

Or are you all just in a circle jerk telling each other how good your terrible movies are? Just asking

willnverna.bsky.social•19 days ago

Critics are those smug, unhappy people that desperately wanted to be liked in high school.

beccarinehart.bsky.social•19 days ago

It’s kind of like when celebrities read their mean tweets. If you just look at your critics and internalize, it will drive you crazy. But if you make light of it, there is a whole untapped wealth of entertainment.

samjonesjr.bsky.social•18 days ago

My favorite piece of feedback I ever received on a script: “It is so well-written, it would be easy to ignore story issues” Thanks? I think.

badideas.bsky.social•19 days ago

This is beautiful

badideas.bsky.social•19 days ago

This is very fair for Mandy tbh

matthewhamby.bsky.social•19 days ago

Legend movie poster took a bad review score and slapped it on the movie poster… The Guardian gave Legend two stars but they hid it. Brilliant.

countmystars.bsky.social•19 days ago

That’s genius

crobertcargill.bsky.social•19 days ago

It’s a favorite of mine

screadnareilige.bsky.social•19 days ago

My guilty pleasure is reading one star reviews of my favorite movies. These sweet dumb babies don't even try.

merrillbarr.com•19 days ago

What’s the best bad quote for one of yours?

montypuppet.bsky.social•19 days ago

please don’t tell me that classic, V/H/S/85 got bad reviews!?!?!

ajyoungdp.com•19 days ago

I shot two features for a prod company.

The comments for the second one were: “Glad they fired the DP from their prior movie”

HILARIOUS

develations.bsky.social•19 days ago

You should work in a restaurant with google/yelp/trip advisor reviews. I've had some classics

punchbunnyllc.bsky.social•19 days ago

I once had a short called "too philosophical for its own good." 😂 Like, that's what I was going for

gorillagravy9.bsky.social•19 days ago

When Armond White writes an annoyingly contrarian review of your movie 🤩

andwrighting.bsky.social•18 days ago

I used to work in a video shop (r'member dem?) and I guarantee that whatever won the best film Oscar would be returned by a solemn-faced customer to the tune of "What a load of sh!t".

octopunkmedia.bsky.social•19 days ago

My rule for haters is you're allowed to post a bad review, but only if it's really funny

cuebald.bsky.social•19 days ago

We had one the other day that absolutely raved about how this is the movie he waited all his life to see, then left 1-1/2 stars.

I’d love to know what it takes to get to two.

snowflakejenny.bsky.social•19 days ago

Literally the reason I go to Letterboxd

robertmevans.bsky.social•19 days ago

My novel never got enough reviews for any bad ones to show up and I kind of feel like I'm missing out.

christianmcintire.bsky.social•19 days ago

Something Awful highlighted one of mine many years ago, partially through reactions to the marketing and blurbs done for the movie, and it was hilarious.

songoftheoss.bsky.social•19 days ago

I get not liking something but it’s so easy to criticise when you haven’t had to go through the whole script to screen journey and the million reasons it might never get made…

manondereeper.com•19 days ago

Love that. It also makes it less scary!

noheeps.bsky.social•19 days ago

Rate this iPhone shot video
https://youtu.be/dW38Jgv_ayA?si=hDnQa6J5TnjNbDFX

spyhistorian.bsky.social•19 days ago

I wrote a biography a few years ago. One reviewer hated it because I discussed the subject's literary career and another hated it because I didn't discuss it enough

bethmorgan.bsky.social•19 days ago

Dude. My husband walked out of *Casablanca* saying "It was fine" and "Ingrid Bergman isn't that pretty". So, yeah, opinions vary widely.

variousinterests.bsky.social•19 days ago

I think it would be pretty awesome to have some critics putting their thesaurus machine on overtime just to get the perfect “burn” over my work lol.

swordcandlebell.bsky.social•19 days ago

There's so much brilliant academic writing about films out there that I no longer find any value in the 'consumer guide' content mill of modern coverage - weak on context, weak on theory, less useful than a friend. It's a market function, not art criticism. RT is pure poison.

generalrusty78.bsky.social•19 days ago

Hell even as a ad, they're failing at that too because you know what gets me your average idiot, you know what gets me to watch a movie, just a clip of it

sontology.bsky.social•19 days ago

Brilliant.

justanotherant.bsky.social•19 days ago

I once saw a bad review of a decent pop record by late 80's band Johnny Hates Jazz. The reviewer hated the band because he thought THEY hated jazz. Apparently the name was based on some girl saying a guy named Johnny hated jazz, and they thought that was funny. The critic was working from bad info.

conanthecontrarian.bsky.social•19 days ago

I could contribute to that group chat

kpaff3587.bsky.social•18 days ago

Hey Leigh, I had such a fun time at Wolf Man. Thanks so much for your take on it. Such a fun ride.

smartcasualgaming.bsky.social•19 days ago

It's a famous story, but my favourite review of all time is one for a film called "Isn't it Romantic?" where the film critic just wrote "No."

willgilbey.bsky.social•19 days ago

I had a film come out last year called JERICHO RIDGE. An action-siege-thriller set in a rural Sheriff's office. So obviously comparisons to Carpenter were made. The best one was courtesy of YouTube - "Assault on Precinct 13 with the emphasis very much on ass."

themaclennan.bsky.social•19 days ago

I do this when I feel blue.

keyboardbrawl.bsky.social•19 days ago

There was a review of a short fiction anthology I was in, where the reviewer ran down what they hated about each story before giving up on the collection halfway through. They stopped right before they got to mine. I've been desperate to know what they would think ever since.

easecoasting.bsky.social•19 days ago

I'll have to let imagination magine then.
Sounds like a hoot of a chat tho

electronick78.bsky.social•19 days ago

Aw yeah, like when I bought the Fight Club DVD, opened it up and read all the bad review quotes plastered all across the gatefold inside..

mogadontrenchcoat.bsky.social•19 days ago

my old band's favourite shit review in the press ended with 'this is a band who make music for people who hate music.' we loved it so much we made a t-shirt out of it 😂

tiggy2u.bsky.social•19 days ago

Love your attitude!👏👍

gregmottola.bsky.social•19 days ago

The meanest thing ever said about me in a review (for my first movie The Daytrippers):
"The only solace I can take in Mr.
Mottola’s existence is that soon enough he will be thrust into the abyss of obscurity and ignominy for all time".
Burn!

jennybigcat.bsky.social•18 days ago

WOW

patrickjdoody.bsky.social•19 days ago

When our second film Beneath got a streaming release , I loved posting iTunes bad reviews like “were the writers drunk?” I found them so much more entertaining.

And yes…so what if we were???

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

Years ago, a reviewer attacked one of my old horror comics. She got the title, the plot and the characters' names wrong. When I politely corrected her, she rewrote the review as even more scathing. Turns out she hates horror. The same site praised a "feminist comic" by a known wife basher. So yeah.

karinacoastside.bsky.social•19 days ago

I love this

horrordan.bsky.social•19 days ago

Siskel and Ebert's take on most slashers famously comes to mind.

mikemakesright.bsky.social•19 days ago

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/friday-the-13th-part-2-1981

The last line here gave me a chuckle

slaymartvideo.bsky.social•19 days ago

omg that's delightful

nadiapro.bsky.social•19 days ago

I love this!

f1nance.bsky.social•19 days ago

aaronmccann83.bsky.social•19 days ago

I love a giggle over bad reviews.

victoriafloro.bsky.social•19 days ago

Agreed! My terrible reviews are the best ones.
Side note: One of my favorite past times with my mom and sibs back in the day was buying VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever every year and reading all the 🦴/Woofs! lol good times.

greatshrike.bsky.social•19 days ago

The Golden Movie Retriever was IMDB before IMDB.

davesdungeon.bsky.social•19 days ago

Okay, saw this one after the other. I would still ride for you at this point, but glad to know you and them are okay. Glad you all have a sense of humor and peace about it.

I’m protective of my friends and family and my arts people in my life are family. My chosen family.

Y’all my ride or dies. 🤘

anonymouse2day.bsky.social•19 days ago

Once wrote a review of a friend’s book on Amazon. He called to thank me for the incredible review. I said the best thank you would be a copy of the book -about film- so I could read it.

marisabillions.bsky.social•19 days ago

As an author- I try to not read reviews - but I find myself too curious to not read them and too sensitive to not care. But it’s a great reminder- thank you.

mrbielecki.bsky.social•19 days ago

I was reading a list of unhinged reviews and the best line I saw was a person saying casting a certain actor in that awful film was on par with John Landis saying to Vic Morrow "Vic, you and the kids stand here"

wasabi-the-void.bsky.social•19 days ago

The writing in negative reviews tends to be far more descriptive and it gets outlandish and hilarious sometimes.

robstewartwriterq.bsky.social•19 days ago

There’s great stuff in every movie and anyone that dares to try deserves applause. Everyone is a critic, try being a creator.

solzyatthemovies.com•19 days ago

Terribly written reviews or reviews of terrible films?

crobertcargill.bsky.social•19 days ago

Terrible reviews of good films.

solzyatthemovies.com•19 days ago

Ah.

mutantmuseum.bsky.social•19 days ago

Shelley Duvall got a Razzie nomination for The Shining.
Ennio Morricone got one for The Thing.

Haters gonna hate.

smokefurandstone.bsky.social•19 days ago

So many horror classics were slammed at their time of release.

dragusnr.bsky.social•19 days ago

while it's true that not everyone will like your work, dismissing critics as "tasteless" oversimplifies the value of constructive feedback in improving art.