I'm the guy who designed Windows 11. My concept was 'All the same buttons, slightly different places'. My other job is changing where things are in supermarkets.
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And the same guy who obfuscate all functions under some generic menus and buttons? You know, the ones that are counter-productive and force users to try and find those Windows XP-era controls (which actually are the useful ones).
When I first got my laptop I was slightly unsure of whether it was 10 or 11 because it runs 11 but I wasn't sure if I was just misremembering what 10 was like, cuz things are just like, a little off lol
So you’re the evil bastard that decided to break customer muscle memory, forcing them to get lost and wander the shop looking for what they want, just to have them see offers they wouldn’t normally see and increase impulse purchases!
I knew it! Now where the hell have you hidden the tinned tomatoes? Are they hidden with the soups or nestled with the beans? Curse your capricious hide.
Did you also design the shopping search app that completely ignores what you specifically ask for? When you search for “AAA batteries”, the first few responses should always be for batteries of completely different sizes.
The package of sliced Swiss cheese was on the top shelf, Alaisdair, and now it's on the second from the bottom shelf and ten feet to the left. That was excessive, Sir.
I knew a guy like that. He started small, just door to door stuff. For a reasonable price he would randomly remove and add lids to people's tupperware and for a little more would find a new home for whatever screwdriver you needed next.
Proud and unwilling member of the "Perform the exact same task, but through an unnecessarily convoluted, time-consuming, and mentally exhausting process" Confederation.
My friend and former flatmate insisted on starting at one side of the supermarket and walking up/down each aisle exactly once. If you missed something, too bad. Bureaucracy was the price of efficiency.
I think I remember visiting a supermarket in Austria where this was the only legal way to shop. Attempts at any reversal of direction resulted in harsh rebukes from other shoppers. I guess my point is there's a supermarket out there for everyone.
I presume you also had a hand in 'trying to find a file on my computer', which results in 17 hits from the internet plus an AI response that I didn't ask for telling me how to file my nails.
To those of you who call him a monster, know that thousands of jobs rely on his good work, such as all the data analysts checking where the Change Background can *best* be hidden.
Hi, I was looking to hire someone to periodically put my car keys in random spots in my apartment, (especially when I'm late for work) and I find that your curriculum might be particularly fitting for the job.
true story worked in a staples several years ago. dude was still pissed that the company had moved the paper aisle. five years before I started working there... he would bring it up each time. apparently it really messed with his worldview. like the farting butterfly in Timbuktu
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Then the zloty dropped!
Actually, Sainsbury's, leaving them where I knew where they were would have been easier.
Did you also design the shopping search app that completely ignores what you specifically ask for? When you search for “AAA batteries”, the first few responses should always be for batteries of completely different sizes.
They are never, ever, in the same place.
"IF IT'S NOT BROKEN, FIX IT UNTIL IT IS".
Proud and unwilling member of the "Perform the exact same task, but through an unnecessarily convoluted, time-consuming, and mentally exhausting process" Confederation.
Pure evil genius.
Just need your address to send a present.
Putting back and front brakes on left and right handles of bicycles by random.
https://gofund.me/3e3f5338