I'm trying to work out how drunk this sounds. it's AT LEAST two bottles. - ThreadSky

mscaitlinmoran.bsky.social • 91 days ago

I'm trying to work out how drunk this sounds. it's AT LEAST two bottles.

Honestly if I had to type out this jabbering nonsense as an “exclusive”, I think I would lol myself

Comments

Perhaps he means those white dog poos? Did he snaffle them down thinking they were some sort of sherbet treat??? You don’t see them any more… did he dispose of many himself??

jaxmaineroad92.bsky.social•91 days ago

Boris being an overweight fatso himself makes it more amusing

simonsmith.bsky.social•91 days ago

‘How DARE they quote Jesus at church?!!’

declan-m-14.bsky.social•91 days ago

What's the fat fucker's excuse then?

planetmatt.bsky.social•91 days ago

Apparently, the church served him a sermon and not a Curly Wurly and that's why he's a fat lazy fucker.

declan-m-14.bsky.social•91 days ago

Well that makes perfect sense. What's the script with his dogshite diet? I don't recall that in the good old days.

michaeldaly64.bsky.social•91 days ago

Eating white dog shit was part of his inititation at Eton.

planetmatt.bsky.social•91 days ago

I thought that was soggy biscuit lol

michaeldaly64.bsky.social•91 days ago

My friend went to the now closed Rannoch School in the wilds of Perthshire & they played Spunky Biscuit regularly. Given that background he's a lovely & surprisingly well adjusted bloke.

planetmatt.bsky.social•91 days ago

I'm hoping that somebody fed child Boris some vintage 70's white dog shit and the greedy cunt ate it and then brain farted that trauma into the story.

declan-m-14.bsky.social•91 days ago

A veritable canine Curly Wurly?

declan-m-14.bsky.social•91 days ago

You are worth a follow Matt

pbpc.bsky.social•91 days ago

Yeah, he forgot the mentioned the cliched whiteness of dog shite back in the good old days

peskypb.bsky.social•91 days ago

The old tizer and spangles diet - those were days 😂😂😂

lenhampson.bsky.social•91 days ago

Don't forget the "dog shit"! Where did that come from?

peskypb.bsky.social•91 days ago

We must have been posh as we dodged the dog shit!! 😂

brucewgordon.bsky.social•91 days ago

Yep, loved it - probably why I'm a diabetic fatso though...

peskypb.bsky.social•91 days ago

Me too!!!

salihughes.bsky.social•91 days ago

Is he high?

stuarthoughton.bsky.social•91 days ago

Not so much 'high' as 'paid by the word'

mscaitlinmoran.bsky.social•91 days ago

The thing is, however much bullshit he used to spout as a columnist - and, indeed, a politician - he usually had the hack-skills to make it LOOK like it was cohering. A bit of slight of hand here and there so it FELT viable, even if it wasn't. But this? It just looks like it's pissed itself.

salihughes.bsky.social•91 days ago

Yes. Though I’ve no idea how that sleight of hand worked in his politics. I can’t believe he still has a following after all that.

mscaitlinmoran.bsky.social•91 days ago

Even though Cummings invented it, "Take Back Control" is GENIUS level bullshit. Means absolutely nothing, but FEELS convincing.

pattiemayonaze.bsky.social•91 days ago

I thought at the end he was gonna break into "They're eating the cats, they're eating the dawwgs....."

stuarthoughton.bsky.social•91 days ago

If we accept that Boris is a role that he plays after a few minutes ruffling his hair to get into character then it must take some effort to keep that up for years on end. Appearing on the news every night in the pandemic must have drained the well so now he just does a sort of makeshift BoJo-lite

funkylala.bsky.social•91 days ago

Bloody hell... 🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🍷

fathomdeep.bsky.social•91 days ago

"They're needing a lack of something, they're eating it, they're not getting it".

Why does this remind me of that clip of the dad recounting what his kid said after being stung by nettles?

"Bring me to mummy, get me the cream".

john-w-hayes.bsky.social•91 days ago

Too many spangles and dog **** gives you worms - keeps you skinny.

rufous.bsky.social•91 days ago

Prescribing greater attendance at Catholic or Anglican churches to medicate a wide-spread fear of paedophilia suggests Jägermeister was involved.

mozzaretti.bsky.social•91 days ago

Of brandy...

heavenlybetsy.bsky.social•91 days ago

I pretty sure I’ve seen pictures of him as a kid and he was a sturdy child no sure that was down to the love of god.

muskmustgo.bsky.social•91 days ago

'They're needing a lack of something.....'.

lngdstncdrmmr.bsky.social•90 days ago

Is he about to become a Scientologist?

ilikecaketoo.bsky.social•91 days ago

Neurosyphilis

mykl.sparkle.blue•91 days ago

More cakeism!

mslesleysmith.bsky.social•91 days ago

Each

mark1962b.bsky.social•91 days ago

I’m gonna defend him, someone has to (ok, no they don’t). Clearly he’s wrong but a) it’s funny b) he’s not being serious c) he doesn’t sound like an identikit politician, almost all the others do. It’s big part of his success.

alunlewis.bsky.social•91 days ago

michaeldaly64.bsky.social•91 days ago

He's losing it. He'll be the UK's RFK Junior soon.

dazrichardson.bsky.social•91 days ago

A lost man!… A man who bends, creases and folds according to the breeze. A man desperately trying to turn back time - to ‘not’ be who he knows he is.

twlldun.bsky.social•91 days ago

I have been more coherent on mushrooms

mscaitlinmoran.bsky.social•91 days ago

same

skymoo.bsky.social•91 days ago

Now want a T shirt starting with Tizer

faithevans.bsky.social•91 days ago

I can picture him saying this crap with smug, Dunning-Kruger face.

swimtwobirds.bsky.social•91 days ago

It’s the ‘crikey’ he sticks on at the end. That’s like nails on blackboard.

mwafarmer.bsky.social•91 days ago

Mushrooms have been more coherent!

jameshales.bsky.social•91 days ago

But do know anybody who has been less coherent?

dantebanks.bsky.social•91 days ago

Two bottles...and three lines.

radiopricey.bsky.social•91 days ago

Borderline pharmaceutical imho 🤪

derekmacd18.bsky.social•91 days ago

He’s channeling Trump! Gibberish from a man who believes in nothing but himself

dfky.bsky.social•91 days ago

It’s nice that he’s figured out how many people are in his family

alfieoflaherty.bsky.social•91 days ago

I can't take this serious. It's hilarious, like he's practicing a new stand up routine

littlemooseshop.bsky.social•91 days ago

Perhaps kids have been gorging on the holy communion too much, or, alternatively, swapping in a Tizer and a curly curly would bring the kids into Church for the rest of their sustenance?

mhaddog.bsky.social•91 days ago

Of vodka

ggsp-ace.bsky.social•91 days ago

Yet I’d take this any day over Elmo’ ket tweeting

broomwagon.bsky.social•91 days ago

And he clearly hasn’t read Burn by Herman Pontzer which really shows that exercise doesn’t really equal weight loss. it’s all about diet. But then that would involve Johnson listening to an expert which as we’ve seen is not really his forte.

execrable.bsky.social•91 days ago

I really wish people wouldn't refer to Johnson under any circumstances. Silence is the only treatment he deserves.

sellypaws.bsky.social•91 days ago

I assume his book is not doing the numbers he needs...

morrismummer.bsky.social•91 days ago

'...how rich men can't go to heaven, all that sort of pot.' I'm an atheist and I'm more of a Christian than Johnson.

playingout.bsky.social•91 days ago

Well, the playing out in the streets bit is true but not sure this is the messaging we need 😬

crosspuzzler.bsky.social•91 days ago

Did he get paid for this? It's plain weird - an overweight man referring to 'fatsos', the idea that he ever played in the street, the extremely spurious link between food and spirituality. This has to be fake surely.

agentfortune.bsky.social•91 days ago

Extended excuse for not going to church anymore.

Tesco Bread.

And apparently he ate dog shit sandwiches, so there’s that.

paulburns.bsky.social•91 days ago

BoJo clearly referencing his privileged childhood in the Sinai Desert here. It rained Manna from heaven for Boris and the rest of the ‘chosen’ Tories. Wouldn’t be surprised if they accounted for Manna in all the policies that have driven food poverty, it would be the sensible thing to do. 😂

nigelleach.com•91 days ago

but Boris is kilogram challenged !

nigelleach.com•91 days ago

probably stones and pounds in his world

kaceyvarren.bsky.social•91 days ago

Ffs....its utter gibberish.

whonosewhy.bsky.social•91 days ago

I'm sorry my irony meter just exploded.. I think I just read Boris Johnson is calling some people fat?

planetmatt.bsky.social•91 days ago

When you've quaffed all the Tignanello, you're bored, but can't be arsed making model buses from the wine crates.

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