I worked with a narcissistic bully once and the thing is… you can try to appease them for a while and be friendly and nice to try to get them to come along… But it will never be enough for them. It’s always better to just do what’s right despite them. - ThreadSky

karenlmasters.bsky.social • 1 day ago

I worked with a narcissistic bully once and the thing is… you can try to appease them for a while and be friendly and nice to try to get them to come along… But it will never be enough for them. It’s always better to just do what’s right despite them.

Comments

leafwarbler.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Can absolutely confirm this based on my experience working with and living with such narcissists.

dannydenfisch.bsky.social•1 day ago

Can relate.

derfbackderf.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Yes. Even after her behavior got her in trouble with HR and resulted in her being stripped of much power, she continued her reign of terror. My solution was to leave the job. I realize not everyone can do that.

karenlmasters.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Yeah. I didn’t leave because of the situation but an excellent opportunity arose AND I wasn’t much enthused to stay and have to keep “walking the tightrope”.

thehobbyhopper.bsky.social•21 hours ago

I was married to one. They will always lie. They will always blame someone else. They thrive on unnecessary conflict.

They can be charming when it gets them something, they will always show who they are. They will wear you down.

Standing up to them can be difficult, but it's the only way.

kmagnacca.bsky.social•17 hours ago

I feel like my superpower is that I’m instantly repelled by people who seem charming lol.

thehobbyhopper.bsky.social•14 hours ago

I've spent so much of my life dealing with people with narcissistic traits, I too am instinctively suspicious of people trying to charm me.

I can't see how anyone can like trump...

astill73.bsky.social•22 hours ago

📌

gothicalchemist.bsky.social•1 day ago

Giving in to a bully just emboldens them.

jerrypcdn.bsky.social•1 day ago

If only we could just kick this guy in the nuts while he is shooting off his mouth.

jerrypcdn.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Of course mostly being a pacifist I am of course only referring to those who can get near enough to him to serve as my proxy.

jgreen63.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Interesting, yes. I did too. Mine was a psychopath. Lacked an understanding of empathy. They were manipulative but also could be manipulated because of their narcissism. It was important to hold the line on what was right. They can also be undermined without their realisation.

jgreen63.bsky.social•22 hours ago

The key aspect of this kind of leadership, as I tried to tell those who thought they were their 'friend' or 'safe' is that NOBODY IS SAFE. They trashed their closest friend and most loyal supporter without a second thought.

enorconhcet.bsky.social•21 hours ago

I agree. After almost 4 decades in 2 different university departments, it's the only way to keep your sanity. Eventually you're shunned, which you find is preferable to being pressured all the time to agree with one or another set of people.

michaeljrenner.bsky.social•22 hours ago

👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆

jro3030.bsky.social•23 hours ago

A lesson I wish I learned in 2017…

kparent.bsky.social•18 hours ago

I was married to one, you are never good enough, and they will stomp on your self-esteem every chance they get and brag about how good they are at stomping.

hay-for-tttt.bsky.social•1 day ago

and 'to spite' them

znl.fyi•22 hours ago

unfortunately, narcissists feed on spite because you're still keeping them in the back of your mind.

knatolee.bsky.social•22 hours ago

You are so right. Never pander to a narcissist.

bluebeauty.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Truth. It can, will be, a lonely road. Take good care your yourself. 🌿

delchi.bsky.social•22 hours ago

This is where I am right now today you are so very correct

misgivings.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Exactly. They will eventually turn on you no matter what you do. All you are doing when you appease them is staving off the inevitable.

Ask anyone who has been married to one of these.

scorfano.bsky.social•1 day ago

This has been exactly my experience as well.

karenlmasters.bsky.social•1 day ago

I’m sorry to hear you also had that experience.

expatsy.bsky.social•16 hours ago

Somebody tell Congress.
https://5calls.org/

unipherene-io.bsky.social•1 day ago

One thing to make sure of before you label someone as a narcissist: make sure they don’t have ADHD. Some of the behaviour of ADHD resembles Narcissism, like interruptions, not listening, etc.

The difference is the Narcissist demands attention from others.

https://psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-and-narcissism-similarities#similarities

unipherene-io.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is true.

exotides.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Unfortunately, I've dealt too often with narcissts to the point where I can spot them quite early.

Real exchange:
Me: you work with x? Be careful!
C: Oh x needs me. I'll be fine.

Fastforward 1 year.

C: X yelled at me over the phone. Luckily, my boss was in the room as well and heard it all.

davecl.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Can you pass this advice on to international learned societies who are refusing to speak up about the situation in the US?

paulasbodyshop.com•21 hours ago

Once?
Lucky you.
But glad you learned.
There is much more to learn.

tannerstuebanks.bsky.social•22 hours ago

This is remarkably accurate, which I can say as the sibling of one.

swalexander.bsky.social•19 hours ago

A narcissistic person will always find a way to manipulate, demand, and exploit others. When faced with boundaries, they often resort to defamation and belittlement to regain control. Their presence is emotionally draining and toxic, making it crucial to set firm limits and protect your well-being.

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