Same. And I wonder how long it is going to take the whiny f*cking Republicans to start complaining that women not taking their husband’s name is “emasculating.”
I honestly never thought about it before, but now wonder why the women's rights movement didn't include discouraging women from taking their husband's name, like he owns them. I've been so blind.
I'm sure they did to an extent, but not loud enough to get us all in the game maybe? I remember being angry at my younger teenage sister's decision in the early 80s for having her name on her checks as "Mrs. ", thereby erasing her identity. Yet I never blinked about losing my last name.
You were smarter and more in tune with the world than most. I honestly never even thought about it, much like the Sunday marching orders to attend a church I didn't believe in & send our kids to CCD. (We did put a stop to that while the kids were young.) The blinders are slow in their removal.
Jess, my wife of almost 30 years kept her last name and the only person that said anything was her father, who said to me I’m not sure I’d marry a woman that wouldn’t take my name. I responded you’ve met my family right. It’s been an awesome 30 years
Good idea. At least don’t change your name on any official documents. If they want they can still be known as ‘Mrs xxx’ but leave all official documents especially ID in your birth name.
For the love of all things good…if you’re a dude with a last name like Weiner, Butts or Faartz, don’t curse your kids with that name when your wife was born a Swanson, Sweets or or Rivers.
I think a hyphenated or double barrelled surname is best for kids. It’s ridiculous that women are the ones who have to endure pregnancy and childbirth, breastfeed the child, do most of the parenting (in most cases) and don’t even get to pass down their name.
Considering most white men [and white women] in this country voted for this shit show, I find it surprising that any conscious woman would consider getting married.
How sad is it that this is how women have to guard themselves against their own government. I got married in 1981, took my husband’s name, I’ve had that name longer than my maiden name. I’m not changing anything. He passed away, and I will fight tooth and nail to vote, but I won’t change a thing.
Basically passport or birth certificate/other "proof of citizenship": your name needs to match that or (hopefully) you have *and* they accept whatever paper trail you have. :/
I spent several months and a few hundred dollars this spring getting my name legally synched up with the one on my passport and driver's license (that I've used since the 80s). My mom took her name back after her 70s divorce. Women in our family always keep our names.
This was such a weird aspect of the bill: clearly it was meant to disenfranchise trans people, but did it not occur to anyone involved that this would also disenfranchise “tradwives” while not affecting “Liberals”?
I know, stupid question. Demands more thought than the kneejerk reflex GOPers have.
It is just one of the ironies of Republicans desperate efforts to dial the clock back to 1768 that they will end up forcing future generations to embrace the kind of changes they find so disorienting.
Why aren’t women in the US going on national strike over this and reproductive rights!! This is men taking away your voting rights and men won’t be asked to do this. Don’t be handmaidens!!
the thing that gets me is the more conservative a woman is, the more likely she is to marry, and to drop her maiden name if she does marry (made-up stats, I'm guessing). If the goal is voter suppression, they're suppressing their own voters
Whoa so I missed a very important possibility: what if they WANT to suppress their own voters, because only their own voters could replace them in primaries...
Honestly, I think there's no strategy other than distraction from the market manipulation and pump-and-dump enrichment scheme. Troll the left, make money, avoid accountability.
In no particular order
Good. Women should not change their names. Why should they? We aren't property. We were completely and whole people before marriage. Nothing is different afterwards.
Or, leave the country and get married where it's THEIR choice whether to keep their names or not, and neither choice impacts their legal rights adversely.
And they can marry who they want, not being restricted to the chisto-fascist vision of marriage.
I added my married name to my maiden name (no hyphen) with SS.
This allows me to use both surnames but use them interchangeably. I need to sign all legal documents with both names, but I can use one professionally (medical license) and one personally (kid’s school). Matches birth certificate too.
Same. I’ve also talked to both of my kids about the importance of a current passport and paying attention to the world around them. Having a way out never occurred to me until 2016.
There is the issue of getting grief related to travelling with your kids who have a different surname to yours: can you prove they are your kids? How do we know you have permission from their father to travel with them?
Everyone warned me this would be an issue when I had kids and as it turned out it never once caused an issue and we traveled internationally almost every year when they were growing up. Many people have different last names than their parents and it isn't an issue.
I am indifferent to whether a married person keeps a birth name, adopts name of partner or develops new family name. I just don’t want these things (or having a different name from kids) to be used to restrict rights to vote, travel, work, get financial services in the future.
Same. I have also encouraged them to pick gender-neutral names for their own kids. And never complete the voluntary questions on applications about race, gender, etc...
My sisters and myself all married in the 80s, none of us changed our last names. It's interesting to see this become a renewed topic due to election laws that will affect those who took their spouses last names
Any woman getting married today who takes her husbands name does not know the history of marriage. Centuries ago women HAD to take their husband’s last name because it proved his ownership of her.
Insane that is where we are. Lots of maga folks about to be pissed. Mr.Jones and Mrs.Jones will have a lot of paperwork to do if they want to vote as a family
Good chat to have. My daughter already decided it isn’t necessary to marry, a relationship is enough and no contract is required, even if there are children. We are good with that!
Funny how the family values preachers are going to destroy the institution of marriage, over voting fuckery. 👍 😆
Gawd! My evil step mother refused to acknowledge that I kept my name after marriage. When she died after my father, I needed to provide proof of my last name since she insisted on putting my *married* name on all of their documentation (will), etc!
I didn't change my name for about a decade after I got married.But the bill they are trying to pass requires a 60 vote in the Senate, or so I have read. That won't happen.
"At a minimum, you must provide documentation showing: 1) Full Legal Name; 2) Date of Birth; 3) Social Security Number; 4) Two Proofs of Address of Principal Residence; and 5) Lawful Status."
It's a ridiculous custom. I grew up around a matriarchal culture, where your clan name is passed down through your mother. Makes sense. You're far more likely to know who your mother is, than who your father is.
It's old patriarchal 'property' bullshit that needs to die.
I dunno, you can build complete new identities for them, should the need arise. Banks accounts , licences, passports, whilst keeping the maiden name running in the back ground.
It’s an uncertain world, sometimes you need to get up and go…❤️❤️
This! EITHER partner should be free to take their partners name or do a hyphenated version of both or keep their birth name or whatever. As long as the name change is done legally, it should not affect the right to vote. Period.
Agree. I have a relatively unpronouceable/unspellable name; four Gaelic words became three syllables in 'Murican English. My wife had the same initial in her pronounceable maiden name, but changed it anyway (tradition?) And people have mangled it ever since. Keep your names, girls!
Doesn't the government know who is a citizen and who isn't? I would think they should. All u should need to vote is a copy of your license and social security card or just a passport. For mail-in ballots, you can submit this info when you submit your request for a mail-in ballot.
If the majority of women did not change their name when they get married, you will see the Republican men declare the Save Act illegal and blame Joe Biden. 😂😂
How much trouble it is for a divorced woman to change her name back to her maiden name? Besides of course the headache of changing drivers license, credit cards, etc. I want to advise my aunt & pay for her to get a passport if that’s easier. She’s in her late ‘70s and on a very fixed income.
It's a bit of trouble. I wanted to change my kids' names to mine (changed mine in the divorce). I wish I had thought to do it in the divorce. It involves a court fee (but can be waived) https://www.courts.mo.gov/page.jsp?id=3834
It's a good idea. My wife refused to do it and I supported her. The only people who were put off by the decision were my in-laws! We had to patiently explain why it would be awkward for her to change her name after spending years building a reputation in the medical professions.
Keeping my fingers crossed that they have the votes to defeat it. Nevertheless someone in the House will try to bring it up again. I say if you’re getting married keep your maiden name on your legal documents. Use your married name socially if you prefer.
In a way, changing your name is saying you divorce who you are. I asked my husband if he would change his surname to mine, the look on his face spelled it out before he said “but that is who I am.”
This is where we have been failing in America. We have raised our daughters to be strong, capable, and independent, BUT we have failed to raise our sons to respect and desire women for that. Far too many continue to raise sons to view women as nothing more than a thing that exists to serve them.
Honestly, I've never understood why women are still doing the name change. Just keep your name, and if anyone refers to you as Mrs. Your-Husband's-Last-Name, just smile and nod. There's no good reason for legally changing your name.
Fully accepting that there is a trade off between this and a person's name not matching their own older documents and professional profile etc - but there are perfectly valid reasons to change name if that's what you want
FALSE Married 30+yrs with 3 children; it has NEVER been an issue. Traveled in/out of the country, many hospital visits (children/husband), 24 yrs in the public school. NOT ONCE questioned or asked for an i.d., marriage license, proof of guardianship when they wouldn’t have if I had changed my name!
That has always been my stance & my view is that if your guy has a problem with that, then that’s a sign that he’s not going to be a good life partner, so it would be best to break it off before marrying him. I didn’t change my name & we’ve been happily married for ~24 years.
The thing is not that all guys have a problem with that. My wife never changed her name. But even if she did, off her own accord, you would’ve chided both her and me. THAT’S what I have an issue with.
I never said I had a problem with people changing their names, but that I never understood why people did so. It’s not required. Also, plenty of men do have a problem with it, but I’m sure there are plenty of men who do not, because as I said, I’m married to one of them. #ReadingComprehension
I got married in 1984 and there was no way I was going to change my name. What a hassle and for what? To be my husband's property? I am truly amazed that women still do it and do it willingly. Weird.
I choose not to have children but, in my province, one can choose either name or do a hyphenated name. In Quebec, it is no longer permitted for women to change their names due to marriage and it seems there is a mixture of what couples end up doing.
So their children may have the two last names of your child and the two last names of your child’s spouse ( if your child marries someone that uses two last names also) potentially your grandchild could have total of 4 last names strung together?😃
Yes, clearly I over-generalized. There can be some good reasons for changing a name. I should amend to there's no good reason to change it merely for the sake of convention.
I turn 60 next month. Have been married for nearly 40 years.
Cultural pressures are harder to shake. Especially in really small communities where you're related to everyone by birth or by marriage. People have surprisingly long memories when it comes to place attachment & the names associated.
Exactly this!! My fiancé and I had been planning to change our last names to a separate chosen last name, but that would now make voting harder for both of us.
I didn't change my name, but it's no big deal if people assume that I did. No problem at all. I sign everything with my real name. I fill out all forms with my real name, but not a big issue for me if they get it wrong in person.
IMO, it's a personal choice of expression. Some people (women and men) don't like their last name (for many reasons) and choose their spouses' last name. Some choose to hyphenate.
I celebrate people who have chosen their form of expression. (I'm looking at you, young people. Cheers to you.)
Agree. It should stop. And quite frankly, we shouldn't be quiet about it either. We should make it known that women will stop giving men the "right" to our identity. Too bad, so sad.
I regretted chg mine. Initially planned to keep name but in 1980 it caused so much confusion...It is part of one's identity and shouldn't need changing.
Sadly, I did 42 years ago, and now I'm having trouble getting my hands on an official state marriage certificate.
JFC... I have my birth certificate, new passport, and TSA approved.
How much more evidence do I need to be able to still vote?
Rhetorical - this is another excuse to block votes. 🤬
Thank you! I thought I was alone here reading the replies. I took my husband’s name, our children have our family name and I will never regret it! Birth certificate, marriage certificate and whatever else they need, I can provide it and still vote their asses OUT‼️💯
I agree.
I'm sad because I never thought in my lifetime I could be stopped from voting just because I took his name.
I'm also extremely pissed.
Hopefully, it dies in the senate from needing 60 votes.
2026 elections - assuming we will still have them - will be judgment day for the GOP.
I did the same 52 years ago and have no regrets.He was my world, a great husband & father. I’ve had my married last name longer than my birth surname & will keep it.I have my original birth certificate, marriage license, baptismal cert and original SS card.This govt can kiss my ass! I’m voting!!!!
When our daughter was married she used her maiden name and her husband’s last name. Changed it legally so it’s like she now has 4 names, using her maiden name as a 2nd middle name.
Interesting that you think being involved with a man requires submission. Not all men are bad, but men who would require me to submit are. You need to work on your interpersonal relationships - friendship, caring, and love have nothing to do with submission.
TBF, I'm not sure you aren't a bot.
"Maiden" names aren't much better. They're usually the father's last name, meant to indicate the father's ownership of a girl until she marries. At which point she becomes her husband's property & changes her last name accordingly. The only way out of those implications is to create one's own name.
A man also inherits his name from his father. It’s misogynist that only the father’s name traditionally gets passed down, but once I was born, the name was mine, not my father’s.
Yes. I regret having taken my husband's name now. My motive in doing so was very personal, and it seemed right at the time. But if I had it to do over, I'd have kept my birth name.
This is about not taking your husband's name because you aren't property he bought. Keeping the name on your birth certificate so you can vote. Maybe women should have their husband take their last name and give that name to their children.
Excellent idea. Also, if you change your name, often when you travel, you are asked if you ever changed your name. It is meant to catch potential criminals, but includes married women who changed their names.
I did too, but they chose their husband’s name anyway. Now my oldest is in the middle of a divorce w/3 kids and will keep her married name to have the same name as the kids
The horrible thing for me was that I never planned on changing my name. But my husband was crushed, and I couldn’t mentally justify keeping the surname of an abusive father whom I’d cut out of my life over taking the name of a man I love. Plus, I got rid of an objectively awful middle name.
I just talked to my fiance about keeping her maiden name. I have no problem with it. It's just a name and shifty way to stack the vote and roll women's and others' rights.
As a man, I wish I had taken my wife's name. So does she.
Mine (Irish) has an apostrophe. Some computer systems will accept, some won't. Some will accept at certain points but reject it later on the same form.
I have even been accused of lying when spelling my name.
Too old to change now.
I took a year to decide and really only bc I had no real affinity either way but got to go to the front of the alphabet…never thought it would effect my civil rights doing it. Insanity.
I changed my name when I got married because I wanted our family to all have the same last name once we had kids. Archaic, sure, but it’s what I chose. Women should be able to change their names if they want to, without having to worry about losing their rights.
There are many good reasons not to change your name. In today’s social media world, you have to change it in a thousand different places. And if, heaven forbid, they get divorced, they have to do it all again.
I’m divorced and I kept my married name, I called the Court house, 124.00 to change it back. Then you have to change your Social Security card and your Drivers license and literally everything! Bank account information, CC, medical records. They’re doing this on purpose! I’M EXHAUSTED!!!
I’m in the same boat. I decided to get a passport instead. It was a little more expensive ($160), but infinitely simpler. It just wasn’t worth it to go thru all that work to save $36
When it’s all said and done (not even counting time devoted), passport will be the least expensive way to go. But…still not an option for a lot of people, especially elderly and remote people.
We had this conversation yesterday with my 8 year old nibling. Then I bought them a book on voters rights. This was not my hope while they're still so young
I never changed my name. When I moved to France, nom de famille is used on my official documents, but some institutions like banks and the healthcare system use my husband’s name, my nom de useage. It’s a bit annoying.
My wife kept her name. She has done the name change nightmare before. Her name is the same as most of her kids and it doesn't change how we feel about each other. I even chuckle and say, "I've been called worse," when someone calls me, " #MrHerLastName."
I told my wife when we married 30 years ago that this was her call. In the end she changed it based on tradition and concern about what her family would think, but I made no push for it.
For a few hundred years, this has been an option in the Quaker (Religious Society of Friends) community. It is an outgrowth of recognizing the equality, and property rights, of women
Keeping the birth family name was in aid of inheriting a woman's family property at a time when civil law in Britain would otherwise hand it to the husband. Not quite sure how it worked.
In New York, the marriage law that requires a qualified officiant has a specific cut-out for Quakers, "...or in the manner of Friends."
Quakers believe no one marries anyone except God, so the happy couple stand and recite their vows at a Meeting for Worship. Everyone present signs the certificate!
In Quebec, women have not been allowed to take a married name since 1981. The children of those unions carry both parents names. We are now into the children of those children and there are four names to choose from or any combination thereof. I like it.
Thanks, Jess! This is one of those low-effort democracy-building things that ordinary people can do: tell everyone considering marriage NOT to change their name, along with KEEPING or SHARING the baby car seats of any children. (These car seats will soon be unaffordable due to the Trump tariffs.)
I really wish I had not. I chose my own middle name when I was 6, but in KY and FL, a woman MUST use her maiden name's initial for her middle initial on her driver's license. So they took my middle name away because I got married.
Everyone has given me so much grief for not changing my name. I saw my mom have to rebuild her credit after divorce, it was an easy choice, now even more so.
Trying to decide if I’d rather be a pregnant young woman of color driving across texas looking for a place to vote or just jump straight into a Kafka novel.
I hyphenated mine, but if I didn't know I'd have a passport by the time I need to vote again (and will be living in a state that has enhanced IDs, not just real ID), if be changing it back. And I shouldn't have to be doing that logistics calculation in order to fucking vote.
I don't live in a state where I can get one right now, but we are moving to one where it is an option this summer and that's what I'll be opting for when I change my license. Between that and my passport, fuckers better let me vote, lol.
💯 why in the fuck did we ever adopt giving up our name? I took my first husbands name and upon divorce I couldn’t rid myself fast enough. I’m remarried using my maiden name. Never again. With kids, parents can hyphenate both. I wish I had.
Welp, Latin America figured it out. All I know is i would never change my name again and if I had daughters I would recommend same. It’s a dumbass tradition. Fuck giving up parts of me to be married to a man. Happily married now to a man who could care less.
A friend of mine living in a far-red state just got married but did not change her name officially, only “in spirit”. I expect we’ll be seeing more of that, but not enough to be an electoral strategy.
Comments
:(
More Twitter accounts only helps Elon.
For the love of all things good…if you’re a dude with a last name like Weiner, Butts or Faartz, don’t curse your kids with that name when your wife was born a Swanson, Sweets or or Rivers.
But it also begs the question…should kids have their mother’s last name?
In divorce, kids usually live with mom more than dad. Why shouldn’t kids have the same last name as their mother?
Basically passport or birth certificate/other "proof of citizenship": your name needs to match that or (hopefully) you have *and* they accept whatever paper trail you have. :/
It might be Penelope Greazyarse is looking for a change. Same goes for Gary Powderbottom.
I'm very arse-forward today for some reason.
I know, stupid question. Demands more thought than the kneejerk reflex GOPers have.
Maybe Republican men don't even want to risk that their wives might vote differently when not under their eyes?
In no particular order
I have all my paperwork plus a passport already.
Bring it on republicans.
And they can marry who they want, not being restricted to the chisto-fascist vision of marriage.
This allows me to use both surnames but use them interchangeably. I need to sign all legal documents with both names, but I can use one professionally (medical license) and one personally (kid’s school). Matches birth certificate too.
Joking aside, my wife just agreed she might have to change her name back if this goes through.
My daughter had the good sense to keep her maiden name.
Funny how the family values preachers are going to destroy the institution of marriage, over voting fuckery. 👍 😆
Make sure they know they can be plumbers or work in oil fields if they want to too.
Also maternity leave is for submissive women, make the husband take leave.
Yes our bodies are different. Whatever. What do those examples have to do with paperwork and voting rights?
Thank goodness I have a birth certificate and my old Social Security card still around.
My mother taught me always keep a copy of those even if did get married.
No regrets.
Currently only 5 of 50 states have citizenship status shown on the Real ID.
https://www.dhs.gov/real-id/real-id-faqs
"At a minimum, you must provide documentation showing: 1) Full Legal Name; 2) Date of Birth; 3) Social Security Number; 4) Two Proofs of Address of Principal Residence; and 5) Lawful Status."
Note "lawful status" there.
/1
It's old patriarchal 'property' bullshit that needs to die.
It’s an uncertain world, sometimes you need to get up and go…❤️❤️
Kudos to you!
Cultural pressures are harder to shake. Especially in really small communities where you're related to everyone by birth or by marriage. People have surprisingly long memories when it comes to place attachment & the names associated.
I celebrate people who have chosen their form of expression. (I'm looking at you, young people. Cheers to you.)
My partner and I aren't married. Sometimes I get called by her last name, sometimes she gets called by mine. It's no big deal.
Or it would - I’m sure they’ll find a way around it
JFC... I have my birth certificate, new passport, and TSA approved.
How much more evidence do I need to be able to still vote?
Rhetorical - this is another excuse to block votes. 🤬
I'm sad because I never thought in my lifetime I could be stopped from voting just because I took his name.
I'm also extremely pissed.
Hopefully, it dies in the senate from needing 60 votes.
2026 elections - assuming we will still have them - will be judgment day for the GOP.
TBF, I'm not sure you aren't a bot.
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Mine (Irish) has an apostrophe. Some computer systems will accept, some won't. Some will accept at certain points but reject it later on the same form.
I have even been accused of lying when spelling my name.
Too old to change now.
https://www.totallegal.com/name-change-filing-fees
Just make a life commitment without a government contract.
It is no longer about ownership.
It is about making your beloved your legal next-of-kin. There is no substitute.
Your turn.
Well I have one! I’m good to go! Thank you!
Civilised countries are not having this debate.
Quakers believe no one marries anyone except God, so the happy couple stand and recite their vows at a Meeting for Worship. Everyone present signs the certificate!
John Smith marries Jane Doe
Their child is A. Smith-Doe
A. Smith-Doe marries C. Jones-Harley. Their child is F. Smith-Doe-Jones-Harley
WTF?