Anyone you don't feel safe being honest with is not entitled to your honesty. I'm cis and I can't imagine a situation where I would even ask - if someone's not volunteering that info, I don't any way I could claim a right to it.
An older friend was sharing about a transgender woman who went stealth in the 80s, and didn't tell her partner until years later. She shared it like it was a scandal or something.
A decade ago I met a 70+ year old trans woman who transitioned out of high school. Going stealth was the norm. She married. They divorced when she was in her 40’s. After the divorce was settled, she informed him she was trans. He couldn’t believe it and she said he never did, til the day he died.
My first vaginal exam, a year after GCS, my gynecologist initially thought I was cis and had had a hysterectomy. Trust me, lay persons can’t tell, if you pass and have had GCS. There’s no need to tell them unless you’re talking about marriage and kids.
My partner had an abdominal ultrasound a few years ago and the tech spent ages looking for her ovaries before shrugging and writing “hysterectomy?” on the notes.
Also lie to get past gatekeepers. I learned this lesson late, but systems are built around needing to have success to get success and when you're marginalized, that works to keep you out.
Lie your way around unjust systems that threaten to rob you of your life literally or figuratively.
You're right. I think the concept of "assigned at birth" is a big part of the problem because it calls back to the Christian concept of immutable gender (which is a lie).
Question: is it ok to lie, as a cis person, to another cis person if asked this question maliciously, in the idea of poisoning the data. Or is that a stealing trans valor kinda scenario?
It's fine as far as I'm concerned, however, I would say it's worth noting that some of the safety concerns that motive us to deny being trans may become relevant to you if they believe your lie.
my favorite thing with them is if they assume i’m trans to act flattered like im a muscle mommy and i feel genuinely thrilled someone thinks i have T in my body
Don’t derail my thread with your minor lexical nitpick. Obviously you could contrive a situation where there might be some moral argument one way or the other. But it would it be a waste of time. Like this comment. Hope this helps.
"No I did not steal your dog" would still be pretty offside ...
Being much more serious, if someone needs to lie about their identity to remain safe they should do so, that's on the people they're trying to be safe from.
does "morally justified" mean "required" to you, or are you so desperate to WELL ACTUALLY that you can't spend five extra seconds to even understand the post you're replying to
Alright check this out I’ve given it some thought. So terrorists come in right? And they have a lie detector, plus a wheel barrel full of puppies right?
You should perhaps rethink your own rigid, absolutist opposition to the use of the words "always" and "never", and then you should dive headfirst into an empty swimming pool
Who the person is (myself included) shouldn't weigh on the merits of an argument. In your case, you've made an appeal to authority. I'll die on the hill that "always" and "never" is dangerous language, regardless of context.
That's pretty rigid thinking, Justin. You have a rule that you're telling us you follow "always" right now. Why can't we have them?
For you, it's a matter of semantics, but we get fucking murdered. If you think context doesn't matter then I can't wait for you to grow the fuck up lil bro.
The thing is that an argument from authority is not what's happening here, debate bro. What's happening is that you're invalidating someone's risk assessment statement by saying their risk avoidance is "dangerous". A lived experience is not what an argument from authority is about.
You do not need evidence that you will receive harm or discrimination if you disclose. The risk is enough. You have no obligation to take on that risk.
(More broadly it is always ok for any marginalised person to lie to decrease any risk of discrimination)
Comments
A cis person merely gets disgusted. Trans people risk getting killed.
Snitches can be anyone, especially if there's some kind of reward in it.
I was like "yeah, and?"
The cus can’t tell and you owe them nothing.
Lie your way around unjust systems that threaten to rob you of your life literally or figuratively.
I was.
This "assigned" shit needs to die
That's the line.
please tell me in what situation it would be wrong for a trans woman to lie to cis people
Being much more serious, if someone needs to lie about their identity to remain safe they should do so, that's on the people they're trying to be safe from.
that's not how that works
burden of what
Idk y'all, dude might be on to something here
I’m putting you in here. “Tedious takes” that’s you all over
For you, it's a matter of semantics, but we get fucking murdered. If you think context doesn't matter then I can't wait for you to grow the fuck up lil bro.
is such an incredible sentence but I'm sure people have clowned on you enough for your lack of self-awareness by now.
You do not need evidence that you will receive harm or discrimination if you disclose. The risk is enough. You have no obligation to take on that risk.
(More broadly it is always ok for any marginalised person to lie to decrease any risk of discrimination)
But an older meaning is "the practical thing to do".
I mean both.