It's oddly heartwarming how much it's just 'everything that is horrible in the London housing market, but for eighteen MILLION pounds'. Everything in landlord-friendly steel and grey. Hideous bits of extra work. Rooms split in ways no room should be split.
When architects like Nash designed terraces they built and sold the facades to buyers who could literally put anything they liked behind them. The back of the Royal Crescent in aBath looks like a favela!
It's particularly wild in a house that is big enough to actually have a properly sized en suite but instead they have sat down and go 'what we really want is a bedroom smaller than you can find in any ex-council flat in the capital'.
No - it usually means that the bed has an attached hot plate for cooking breakfast on while still reclining. The term emerged in the 80s when it fit a very 80s idea of glamour but the actual installation has become seen as a drag on property value due to the risk of testicular burns.
Next time you’re in England, say you want your eggs “en suite”. The chef will take his clothes off, lie down in bed and fry them off for you there. If you’re lucky, you can watch.
Also amusingly of a piece with the rest of the London property market: ugly grey and off-white landlord styled furniture, pointless additional bathrooms eating into your living space, and a deeply unsubtle void where 'what's left on the lease' should be.
Indeed! I don’t know what I hate more - converted London leaseholds or listed buildings in the country with a shared private access, septic tanks, private water supplies and oil tanks!!
The interior décor could have been from any multi-million pound house on Zoopla as well, I think. Beige, grey, big glass light fittings, shiny bed covers. Even the dining chairs and bed covers that shine with a sort of plasticy sheen!
this absolutely demonstrates the extent to which the house in Conwy that everyone was laughing about a few weeks ago was restored and renovated by an absolute legend who deserves a special award at the national eisteddfod.
Which you can buy from the Italian manufacturers in two sizes
There were some interesting choices in there, and some were surprising, but I thought it was overall good, just sometimes weird and sometimes Not To My Taste
But that bath was cool. The pulpit shower room and the font sink tho...
Wonder if the house has been divided lengthways at some point so you only get two thirds of the portico, which is clearly the main feature. For £18 million I would want the whole thing.
Looking at the floorplan I think so, and agree. In general I am continually struck at how poor the value-add is at that end, I guess because to the only buyers it is pocket change anyway.
It's obviously linked to why I *don't* have £29mn to begin with, but in general I simply cannot see the appeal of so much of the ultra-rich lifestyle. If I had that much money I'd just buy a £4mn flat with a concierge and still have, you know, £25mn left.
And what council...Westminster? Or Kensington and Chelsea? Council tax probably thruppence ha'penny in either... I just can't imagine anyone with 18 mill thinking that would be a good buy.
The pattern of the chimney breasts on party walls visible from the park suggests they were always two bay houses, with the wider porticoes designed to make the terrace look more palatial.
Awkward floorplan throughout, like trying to squeeze in too many rooms in some places but leaving gigantic rooms in others. Strong desire to rip out the entire thing.
As for the decor, money doesn't buy class...
(Not that I'd turn down an £18mil house if someone gave it to me.)
I wrote 'presumably they have people for that', but then I thought 'but also presumably the people who do that are also actually the ones looking at this house listing, who do actually need to know how big the kitchen is'.
I do t like the bath surrounds. They would have to go. Also the sofas. Nasty velour. It would be a Dalek's paradise all that static. And where are the bookcases????
I was scrolling through thinking "each to their own, I guess, presumably some people would like this, I don't have rich person taste, etc etc" and then I hit the weird garage and... no, this is just gloriously ugly - right?
Shiny floors in bathrooms (someone* will slip and crack their head open) and artificial grass. And grey crushed velvet, presumably to match their grey personalities. It's just naff. Expensively so.
*me
I think even 30 seconds in this house would break my soul but it does at least feel to me like the people who decorated it this way sincerely enjoyed living in it?
I love/hate that one. Hate every aspect of it, but love the gusto of it. It may not be my taste, but it definitely demonstrates (screams) that it's somebody's. And they clearly used a lot of real craftspeople in there too. It's not the usual grey/marble anti-taste death zone.
like the one in Wales where the bath was shaped like a stiletto shoe. The people who'd decorated that had clearly decorated with their style and personality and it had been done well. This one has been done with no personality.
Exactly. Not my taste but clearly *someone's* taste, with love and time and resources put into their ideal.
Whereas these interiors are designed to be as bland as possible - and in a house built to be as showy as possible! It isn't a small flat you want *anyone* to be able to imagine themselves in.
Right- what is bleak but also funny about the UK mansion is that it is kitted out, both aesthetically and in the floorplan, as if it appeal to a prospective buy to let landlord: no style, en suites where no en suite should be, etc.
What's weird is - not defending the design choices in flats I can afford - I do at least *understand* why the stuff in my price range is 'bland ugly easy-clean colours and too many bathrooms for the space' - these are being bought primarily by BTL landlords!
Comments
There were some interesting choices in there, and some were surprising, but I thought it was overall good, just sometimes weird and sometimes Not To My Taste
But that bath was cool. The pulpit shower room and the font sink tho...
Is there a less appealing phrase than “en suite”? What’s the point unless you want to turn it into a B&B?
As for the decor, money doesn't buy class...
(Not that I'd turn down an £18mil house if someone gave it to me.)
(We have three, but our house came like that 😬)
*me
https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/68531811/?search_identifier=3c84fd1dcf1c1d9198704ddab2c070e01ad3be3411812377d2d1ea2fe8b99cb0&featured=1&utm_content=featured_listing
Sure, it’s headache inducing, but there’s personality there.
Whereas these interiors are designed to be as bland as possible - and in a house built to be as showy as possible! It isn't a small flat you want *anyone* to be able to imagine themselves in.