I'm the kind who flirts, then later remember that I should probably point out that all my flirting is platonic and only meant to cheer people up. I'm not actually attracted to them 🙊
"I'm 99% sure they're hitting on me, but there's that 1% chance I'll make a fool of myself if I act on it, so I'll just wait for them to make a definite move"
I don't *refuse* to believe it; I just have to actively interrogate the possibility because I won't passively make the assumption that it's possible. due to the self-esteem issues.
Well,if someone throws their panties at me, I think they might like me... or they want me to do their laundry? How am I supposed to know - I am not a mind reader. 😎
In one case I only found out the person I was talking to, telling me her shifts, was flirting with me when she shot daggers at me later that evening when I left the bar later with my OH
Lucky I am old and decrepit now, so it's no longer an issue
Mostly oblivious. About 3 days later I'll be going over in my head how weird someone was acting and then I'll be like 'hang on...' Not that it's happened for a long time.
Maybe a bit of both; I genuinely wouldn't recognise it if I saw it. Interestingly, I was once accused of flirting when I was doing no such thing and was actually trying to end the interaction.
I'm intentionally oblivious because I'm ace and getting hit on feels icky. I'm not opposed to people pursuing a friendship or something romantic, but too often flirting includes sexual interest and that's when I nope right out.
(back at her bedroom)
her: (sat on her bed, looking up at me with big brown eyes) that was a nice dinner. (pause) So, what do we do now?
me: (aside) ...maybe she just likes me as a friend?
It's saved from being a problem by the fact that I'm also never the one to make the first move - which I presume is also true of a lot of the people who claim to be oblivious to flirting.
It's not that I don't believe anybody could be attracted to me it's just that surely the hot girl giving me attention in the moment wouldn't be, right?
So true my self-perception is very healthy and I don't need to interrogate it
tbh though I'm convinced a large part of it is just that parts of my brain haven't kept up with that I'm no longer an awkward teenage boy with no redeeming qualities
Comments
(we are together)
Me as an elder bog witch: *Looks at picture of me as a young woman.*. Damn, I was cute, but clueless.
Asking for myself.
It's both...
I don't hold back now but I still worry
BAD PHANTS, BAD, NO
source: my life
My spouse has always teased me about it.
In one case I only found out the person I was talking to, telling me her shifts, was flirting with me when she shot daggers at me later that evening when I left the bar later with my OH
Lucky I am old and decrepit now, so it's no longer an issue
That's about the level of my social skills.
https://bsky.app/profile/evarawlsphd.bsky.social/post/3l6d3ltijty2m
😉
her: (sat on her bed, looking up at me with big brown eyes) that was a nice dinner. (pause) So, what do we do now?
me: (aside) ...maybe she just likes me as a friend?
tbh though I'm convinced a large part of it is just that parts of my brain haven't kept up with that I'm no longer an awkward teenage boy with no redeeming qualities