It's CRAZy how I suddenly want things more after taking my medication at the start of the day or how LITTLE I want things when I forget to caffeinate myself later in the day. 🫠
The worst part is, I also would be saying this both to that person AND myself because for a split second in that EXACT moment, I'd be agreeing with them despite every part of my brain that knows better. That "fuck you" would be for EVERYONE including myself.😭
Yeah, these people are the ones that you never want to go to ask a question when you start a project a week after it was assigned, even though you know you’ve got time to finish it, because rather than give you the simple answer they’ll make you feel bad for starting late so you just don’t start.
Not even their own pace, but life circumstances too. Having to deal with a sick parent, overwork, financial burdens, mental illness, children, and other things are already a lot on someone’s plate, some days you can only do the bare minimum because other things take priority.
The people who think like this are absolutely criticising you and the OP for good reason. It's not even meant to be a slight or an offensive critique. Staying in the comfort of your own pace will lead you to nowhere at all; mediocrity is to be rejected, not embraced.
“If you haven’t done it by now, you clearly don’t want it badly enough” is telling someone to give up. It’s literally the least motivating thing possible to hear when you are struggling to do something. Literally the only good thing you can take away from it is “fuck you, I’m going to keep trying”
It actually depends on the person's determination to follow through with what they want. Were you to tell me something like that, I'd get ouf o my chair and do it to make a statement to myself about how I want it badly enough.
I'm not at fault if you lack that kind of willpower.
It’s not any less cruel to tell someone to give up just because it won’t actually make them give up. Unless you think that people who don’t have enough “willpower” yet *should* just give up and it’s fine to do stuff that’ll make them as long as the right people won’t be affected by it I guess.
The "Fuck you" at the end or the wind-up?
To be honest, if it's the fuck you, then I'mma choose to be rude on purpose. I'm tired of having an "invisible disability".
If that means I am visible as an abrasive asshole, so be it, but I'm done being invisible.
Out in public I might be more willing to just use the death stare that I learned from my grandma, maybe I don't need to SAY it to their face. But I'm gonna somehow tell them they fucked up.
I've even heard things like this from the RPN that prescribes my ADHD meds, you would think THEY would get it.
I've lived with this shit for 36 years, I know it inside and out, I got solutions for all kinds of other problems, but IF YOU ARE LIVING IT like I am, this "executive dysfunction" and "ADHD paralysis" problem is about as solvable as an amoeba inventing atomic weaponry.
Had this said to me way too many times too, usually related to forgetting something.
"If it was important to you, you wouldn't forgot it."
"You're choosing to not pay attention."
And my favorite one:
"Do you forgot to breath? Of course you don't."
That last one is fucking hilariously nearsighted.
I have literally caught myself forgetting to breathe a few times, and I'm not even joking. Don't care if anyone believes me or not, I barely believe myself but it's not even an infrequent thing.
I have ALWAYS had moments where I'm suddenly gasping for air because I just wasn't thinking about breathing for a while. It's gotten better over time but that's basically how I breathed as a kid — not at all for a bit, then a few gasps, normal breathing, and back to nothing. Repeat.
Forget willpower - set yourself up for success! Do, create, buy, borrow, invent, and ask for help: absolutely *anything* that will help you stay on track WITHOUT thinking you need to simply *tough it out*. Willpower is a fantasy and a lie.
i want to bite murder kill every time someone says this to me. i shouldnt hafta take this shit from someone who can remember to take a piss break!!! "oh just use a calendar" i can barely remember to floss shut up!! its just another thing to feel guilty about forgetting.
You mean Leonidas of Sparta? That same Leonidas who helped the other Greek city-states to win that war against the Persians, even as he was outnumbered?
Do your history homework, mate. He wasn't "massacred", he was outnumbered and he gave the Persian Empire much trouble, even in death.
Lol, the other Greeks came back a year after he made his dumbass last stand to beat the Persians. At best he was good propaganda for their recruiting, at the cost of an entire army.
You've decided, with your endless ambition, to proceed to jump onto a thread of people sharing their struggles with ADHD, just to tell them how inferior they are because they lack ambition.
Is there a point here, other than just broadcasting your insecurity?
>Is there a point here, other than just broadcasting your insecurity?
Yes, and you didn't get anything straight. You got everything bent, actually. I'm not here to claim you or anybody else counts as "inferior", I'm here to tell you to self-overcome. It's never comfortable to do that.
Guess what: I have a seven-year old diagnosis that says I'm autistic, too. The fact you have autism is utterly meaningless in terms of ambition, you are your greatest enemy. Your autism or your usage of lithium isn't stopping you, you are.
...Governor, I attempted to off myself when I was 15, and fortunately enough, I failed at it. I know very well what struggle looks like, and in fact, I embrace it as my "ethos".
It's not something that limits me or daunts me, it's what I live for. I need no reason to fight, I fight because I must.
there's a lot to unpack w/ just this sentence and not enough space for words. I'd advise you to look into executive dysfunction to better understand why it's not the person's ambition or willpower that's at fault when it relates to ADHD.
"oh yeah amazing explanation where I'm just a bad person. very convenient that your explanation not only means you don't have to help me, but you can actually feel better about yourself for not helping me. very efficient."
I had someone tell me this when I walked away from my PhD. The school had been giving me the runaround for a year over whether I'd have a job tomorrow, the lab kept me totally isolated, and my advisor forgot I existed more than once.
I never wanted to strangle someone more than when he said that.
Aight cool, lemme cut off ya arms and legs and then say it's YOUR fault you can't run or jerk off anymore. Ya think ADHD is a valid way to get out of murder charges? XD
That's been me this past couple of months, I wanna do the thing but I've already forgotten to do the thing and when I remember again it's been X amount of time. Rinse and repeat 😭
Sincerely the average person on the street operates at a sociopath's level of empathy.
Cannot grasp or even engage with the idea that someone's life and neurotype can differ from their own, therefore your problems and their solutions MUST be identical to what they'd be for them.
I came to this conclusion during Lockdown. I had all the time I could possibly need to start up some sort of craft business and zero excuse about 'I don't have the time'. So I realised that I obviously don't want a craft business and I feel so much less pressure now.
The girl asks:
- Oh so why you are still bald? You want to be bald? Or you lack the desire needed to have hair again
- But is not the same...
- Why not?
- I can't just do that and...
- Yeah, that's what i though. You can't. f*cker
I started a topical hair loss treatment a few months ago that actually seems like it’s kind of working. I also took Adderall to help deal with my executive function, and it kind of worked, too. So, yeah. Pretty apt analogue.
Comments
I hate it when people say bs like that to me.
I'm not at fault if you lack that kind of willpower.
Can't even praise her without having it spin back around on me somehow.
To be honest, if it's the fuck you, then I'mma choose to be rude on purpose. I'm tired of having an "invisible disability".
If that means I am visible as an abrasive asshole, so be it, but I'm done being invisible.
I've even heard things like this from the RPN that prescribes my ADHD meds, you would think THEY would get it.
"just do this, just do that!", "It's all in your head!", "You seem fine to me!", "That doesn't sound so bad!".
I'm tired..
"If it was important to you, you wouldn't forgot it."
"You're choosing to not pay attention."
And my favorite one:
"Do you forgot to breath? Of course you don't."
I have literally caught myself forgetting to breathe a few times, and I'm not even joking. Don't care if anyone believes me or not, I barely believe myself but it's not even an infrequent thing.
But boy, does she gets defensive if I say the same thing back at her over her own flaws?
My brain is running off the La Croix version of it..
(The dopamine we have at home)
https://bsky.app/profile/robinbobcat.bsky.social/post/3l5a5edvdu32r
This is essentially what my mom told me once when talking about my skin picking (a literal ocd situation)
She has no idea how much that is stuck with me and the anger is STRONG
It's basically magic. Wish things into existence.
'you made duo cry'
good, you deserve it, you emotionally-manipulating bird!
And yeah, her answer is the fucking right answer to that kind of speech.
NO
*"If we could, we would"
Like oh yes certainly remembering to EAT just isn't important enough for me and that's the problem! 🫠🙃
Be so for real hahahahahaha
Do your history homework, mate. He wasn't "massacred", he was outnumbered and he gave the Persian Empire much trouble, even in death.
Come on, governor. I've seen better bait than that. I already know of the historical consensus in regards to the aftermath of Thermopylae.
( ) yes
( ) no
You've decided, with your endless ambition, to proceed to jump onto a thread of people sharing their struggles with ADHD, just to tell them how inferior they are because they lack ambition.
Is there a point here, other than just broadcasting your insecurity?
Yes, and you didn't get anything straight. You got everything bent, actually. I'm not here to claim you or anybody else counts as "inferior", I'm here to tell you to self-overcome. It's never comfortable to do that.
people struggle dude, grow up
It's not something that limits me or daunts me, it's what I live for. I need no reason to fight, I fight because I must.
lol
I never wanted to strangle someone more than when he said that.
no matter how badly i scream at myself to do something i can never commit
I and my family need your help urgently. We live in Gaza and the situation, as you can see, is very difficult. We need your help to donate a small amount to me so that my family and I can get out to safety.🙏🍉
https://www.gofundme.com/f/karamsaid?utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&lang=en_US
me: what if I posted on bsky though :)
And I could have had canned executive function juice all along
Cannot grasp or even engage with the idea that someone's life and neurotype can differ from their own, therefore your problems and their solutions MUST be identical to what they'd be for them.
The girl asks:
- Oh so why you are still bald? You want to be bald? Or you lack the desire needed to have hair again
- But is not the same...
- Why not?
- I can't just do that and...
- Yeah, that's what i though. You can't. f*cker
But then I opened the book, namely, I read some of your tweets, and you do indeed follow that "soyjak" archetype. Looks like the cover didn't lie.
It's stuck in my chest.
I get this too well.