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djralflove.bsky.social
Forklift certified 90’s indie rock enthusiast. Happily married to the woman of my dreams. Orioles and Ravens lifer. Rescue dog dad. Big fan of democracy, justice and human rights for all.
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"Unless, of course, the side of dictators floats a VP spot or high-profile cabinet appointment."

Waitress: Would you like to hear the specials? Customer: Sure. Waitress: 🎶Stop your messing around. Ah ah ah. Better think of your future. Ah ah ah. Time to straighten right out....🎶

Monday, you raggedy bitch.

This Friday just ain’t Fridaying

Zero texts on the Bills team group chat since 7:23 ET

Coworker: I'm behind on my presentation. Thank god I work best under pressure Me (helping): Get it done or I'll rip your spleen out

Map apps should say things like, it’s near where the old A&W used to be or, bang-a-uey dipshit

Bruh I am still in shock the Mavs traded Luka and called him fat on the way out

Did David Stern rise from the dead last night to arrange this shit

When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become a king. The palace becomes a circus. - TURKISH PROVERB

tonight

Luka for AD?!?! Okay I guess? Not really sure how it makes either team better.

By the way you would not BELIEVE how hard I’m stickin to sports lately. Holding fast to sports like it’s a fucking lifeboat

Pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt, judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, it seems pretty painful.

If you think wild fires are caused by a Jewish Space Laser, natural disasters are caused by wokeness, and Haitian immigrants are eating people’s pets, DEI causes plane crashes sounds like a logical conclusion.

Someone more cynical than me might think the Ravens kept this quiet until Tucker had a bad year and the thought of losing him wasn’t so frightening

If y’all balking about the price of arena-level concerts, might be a sign that it’s time to get into underground metal, punk, and independent music, jusssyin

If youre working on training AI to replace workers you are a scab and you are not welcome to sit with us

Friend: I just don't know how to cope with all the horrible shit in the world anymore Me (taking her hand): Have you considered reposting me

This is the only use of the “slippery slope” argument I’ve ever agreed with ⏬

if eating celery burns more calories than it contains imagine the net negative calories you get chasing a cherry tomato around with your fork

Am I crazy to believe that the #Ravens will be favored in any possible playoff matchup, including potential trips to Buffalo and Kansas City?

Stop saying hey gang unless we're solving a damn mystery

Facebook: After carefully considering your feedback, we hear you: We can and must somehow get even shittier

Am I crazy to believe that the #Ravens will be favored in any possible playoff matchup, including potential trips to Buffalo and Kansas City?

they’re just begging for a car chase

i wasn’t built to work i was built for shenanigans and bottomless fries.

I legit wonder if anyone who's followed me in the last week is real. 💀

Happy Festivus everyone. Always amazed this crazy episode birthed a real celebration that seems to be enjoyed by so many around the world. So may your feats be strong and your grievances few. Enjoy.

Sometimes you just need to eat a bunch of French fries about it

Nothing says “you’re back in the United States” like the baggage claim bathrooms at Dulles

Hey cutie. Clean your glasses.

getting hit with a no doy at this point in my life would devastate me

If any of us handed in a draft with a hitman named Luigi Mangione, we’d get notes.

The MNF Simpsons-cast with Mina Kimes and Dan Orlovsky is perfectly cromulent

I refuse to stop interpreting 💨 as farting