jdankovchik.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

requested my ashes be spread at a water park. a logistic and legal nightmare for my family. one last chance to prove their love

submitted 13 days ago • 6 comments

Are you interested in analyzing small samples from marginalized communities and aren't sure how? My new commentary in AJE's collection on Methods in Social Epidemiology lays out rec's for researchers, public health practitioners, and data owners. DM your email address if you need access.

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

Umberto Eco put together a now-famous list of 14 attributes of fascistic states. I'm going to discuss each of them in hopes this helps ppl understand that fascism is not just a buzzword. We're going to go through these by theme, so strap in. 🧵

submitted 14 days ago • 61 comments

my favorite positions are: • missionary • fetal • juxta

submitted 35 days ago • 12 comments

Big mistake. His native tongue is bloodletting, and it's only spoken in knives.

submitted 268 days ago • 1 comment

have respect for every human life. we are all made in gods image. big computers on top. buncha important balloons in the middle. stilts.

submitted 640 days ago • 3 comments

GALADRIEL: (glowing green) In place of a hard roll, I would have whole wheat—beautiful and terrible to behold! DELI GUY: #3 on wheat. G: (coyly) You offer it to me freely. DG: No, Galadriel. You have to pay. Every day with this

submitted 505 days ago • 24 comments

Boston Market recently changed their name to Boston MARKET, a move that increased their market capitalization by 500%

submitted 35 days ago • 113 comments

My best quality is respecting your boundaries so much that I never talk to you.

submitted 37 days ago • 21 comments

If you’re a federal govt employee targeted for leave or termination on the basis of your DEI work, please file an EEO (Equal Employment Opportunity) complaint & retain legal counsel. I’m a former NIH PI. Happy to refer you to a law firm that has successfully sued the govt many times! Pls repost 🙏❤️

submitted 39 days ago • 85 comments

Scientists baffled after discovering secret mountains on Earth 100 times taller than Everest flip.it/RqY6Aj

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

me: would literally give my life for my kids my kids: gross, you bought the bad bread again

submitted 40 days ago • 11 comments

“Finders, keepers” is a rule written by finders, as any weeper will tell you.

submitted 40 days ago • 3 comments

“waahhhh egg prices are too high” just lay the eggs yourself you lazy prick

submitted 39 days ago • 150 comments

Being a person with deadly, incurable cancer who is nonetheless still alive for an indefinite timeframe gives me an interesting metaphor that helps me deal with things like large-scale corruption in government or commerce. Bear with me for a second while I try to explain.

submitted 42 days ago • 505 comments

for the potato fears not death

submitted 63 days ago • 591 comments

[being forcibly removed from CoffeeMate headquarters again] JUST CALL LA CROIX AND ASK

submitted 41 days ago • 3 comments

For those saying it wasn't a Nazi salute. Keep posting it. Keep sharing it.

submitted 41 days ago • 610 comments

submitted 43 days ago • 33 comments

Just making sure that everyone is aware of this crab that NOAA scientists found

submitted 44 days ago • 2144 comments

Teach a man to fish and he’ll eventually claim he just always had that knowledge innately and then try to explain to you how fishing works

submitted 44 days ago • 77 comments

Bringing back my favorite TikTok of Herbie the Detroit Zoo hippo

submitted 44 days ago • 17 comments

Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone Teller: So is this not a robbery? Me: No, it is

submitted 44 days ago • 33 comments

[bookstore] ME: do you have any books about the study of plants? CLERK: botany? ME: no that's why I'm here

submitted 56 days ago • 8 comments

[playing poker] FRIEND: I’m all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are

submitted 76 days ago • 31 comments

[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.

submitted 93 days ago • 2 comments

ME: (I unzip my fanny pack and pull out a smaller fanny pack) Does this answer your question? GUY NEXT TO ME ON THE BUS: I didn’t ask you a question.

submitted 93 days ago • 3 comments

“She says she doesn’t want to fuckin’ talk to you.”

submitted 611 days ago • 18 comments

Dating tip: don’t mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin.

submitted 88 days ago • 3 comments

writing a theme song for locksmiths and omg so many key changes

submitted 108 days ago • 9 comments

[cryptozoologist meeting] me: what are the results of this recent bigfoot sighting investigation? fellow enthusiast: we only found one set of footprints and they were human me: aha! [remembering hearing about a similar situation] that was when jesus carried the sasquatch

submitted 655 days ago • 4 comments

whenever i write a dollar amount i always include the number of cents, but that's beside the point

submitted 72 days ago • 1 comment

look i know she ate a worm but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate

submitted 249 days ago • 3 comments

Me, eating catfish: This looks nothing like it did on the menu.

submitted 44 days ago • 14 comments

submitted 43 days ago • 5 comments

the banning of tiktok is another painful reminder to buy physical copies of your media. i have dozens of dvds of an ai voice reading reddit comments over unrelated minecraft footage.

submitted 44 days ago • 44 comments

My family crest is an ice pack next to a heat pack across a field of advil.

submitted 45 days ago • 1 comment

i bet when the Hamburglar robs people he holds them at bun point please do not unfollow me

submitted 45 days ago • 108 comments

Not depressed enough to skip meals but depressed enough to eat out of a measuring cup

submitted 46 days ago • 109 comments

Sadly the pics are not by me, I just found them on the internet.

submitted 44 days ago • 4 comments

Have you never seen a baby Lumpfish? Well, today is your lucky day!

submitted 44 days ago • 53 comments

new pokemon just dropped

submitted 46 days ago • 32 comments

Me putting a random crumb in my mouth to “clean” the counter: I hope that was food

submitted 46 days ago • 62 comments

Everyone’s life moves at a different pace and comparing yourself to others is meaningless and even harmful but I still can’t help but feel like I’ve fallen behind every time I hear that another woman my age has already succeeded in befriending and commanding her own murder of crows.

submitted 48 days ago • 36 comments

i don't understand was i supposed to kill him

submitted 51 days ago • 68 comments

Lately finding myself eating lunch while standing. It feels good. I see why horses and dads do this

submitted 202 days ago • 22 comments