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mrbartley.bsky.social
Beets. Baseball. Battlestar Galactica.
159 posts 410 followers 1,052 following
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NASA Announces Moon Will Be Leaving Earth’s Orbit To Take On New Position With Bigger Planet theonion.com/nasa-an...

submitted 2 days ago • 80 comments

It's funny how when you ask them why they think Pope Francis was "too woke" and request specific examples, they always wound up describing Christ's teachings without a hint of self-awareness.

submitted 4 days ago • 122 comments

Always keep watch. Eventually the aliens will slip up and do something unhuman a little too nonchalantly. Then we'll know. 👽🛸 Yesterday, the lifeform we call "Elly De La Cruz" forgot himself and took flight to catch this baseball. 😮

submitted 4 days ago • 281 comments

‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...

submitted 9 days ago • 278 comments

'Typo' is short for "topographical error."

submitted 10 days ago • 203 comments

submitted 30 days ago • 635 comments

MLB TV not working on opening day….

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Choose empathy. Read.

submitted 141 days ago • 226 comments

We’ve given God more than enough chances. Let’s try gun control.

submitted 34 days ago • 74 comments

Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’ theonion.com/texas-i...

submitted 35 days ago • 72 comments

Southwest Airlines doing their best Edward Norton impression.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Time zones always screw me up when traveling - right now it’s 8:30 AM in London and 1939 in America.

submitted 49 days ago • 90 comments

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

submitted 50 days ago • 1058 comments

No One At Laser Tag Prepared For How Hard Dad Was Going To Bring It theonion.com/no-one-...

submitted 51 days ago • 47 comments

We don’t need vitamins, Mr Secretary. We need vaccines and leadership that doesn’t endorse quackery. www.cnn.com/2025/03/05/h...

submitted 52 days ago • 7 comments

NRA Gives Dead Schoolchildren ‘F’ Rating

submitted 53 days ago • 33 comments

When is Rep John Carter’s town hall? Oh, that’s right, he comes out every four years like a white-haired groundhog to get reelected, then retreats to his cave and doesn’t interact with voters at all until the next election…

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

New book by RFK Jr, a sequel to his first book, The Very Hungry Brain Caterpillar.

submitted 58 days ago • 354 comments

First they raised the prices of eggs, and I did not speak out. Then the Ghirardelli semisweet chocolate chips went from $3.69 to $5.19 overnight, and now I am going to burn this place down.

submitted 60 days ago • 164 comments

I love Harrison Ford but if having to answer nerd questions pissed me off that bad I would probably just make fewer nerd movies

submitted 61 days ago • 56 comments

Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I have never heard of that kind of bacon. Is it new?

submitted 61 days ago • 139 comments

Wallace Shawn Emerges As Frontrunner To Replace Daniel Craig As James Bond

submitted 65 days ago • 451 comments

So... Billy Joel "For the Longest Time" is playing at the gate, so like the X'er I am, I IMMEDIATELY start singing one of the doo wop harmonies without even thinking. This woman sitting across from me looked at me like I was purple 🙃

submitted 65 days ago • 33 comments

Horrified Woman Swears Off Ambien After Seeing Number Of Library Books She Reserved Last Night

submitted 66 days ago • 21 comments

New Indiana Law Requires Women Voters To Show Husband’s ID

submitted 73 days ago • 478 comments

Mr Rogers and Sesame Street taught me love, kindness, compassion, and empathy. Star Trek taught me to dream of and aspire to help create a better and more diverse world. Star Wars and Tolkien taught me to fight for freedom, even in the face of overwhelming odds and great evil.

submitted 74 days ago • 148 comments

Bloop!

submitted 75 days ago • 104 comments