thesheepmafia.bsky.social
He/Him. A leftist, antifascist, crossdressing cishet man. Proud to be both a nerd and an ally of LGBTQ folks everywhere. Lover of history, stillettos, music, fishnets, and dachshunds. Hater of cops, fascists, bigots, TERFs, and chuds of all varieties.
1,954 posts
638 followers
325 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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Two of those things apply to me! I'm about to get a badge in Kicking Dicks!
Thanks Charizard!!! 🔥🔥🔥
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Funny this came up because you and I were talking about Nancy Reagan last night (yeah, we fucking rule) and Nancy Reagan is the Kirby of First Ladies.
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It's at least 9/11th of a thing.
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Mark's gonna wake up with a few extra fingers on each hand, at the very least.
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Or if she's down, that's also cool. Not here to shame anyone, just here to help write and produce the best Star Fox movie possible.
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No intense makeup, just one of those fox-ear headbands and a fox tail. I would never ask Dame Judi Dench to shove anything into any of her orifices, so I'll remind everyone that there are versions of animal tails that just clip on.
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Then they'll ride off on their hover bikes, trying to decide whether to wear a helmet or lean in and learn some observational humor.
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If we lose too many at the same time, the secret of how to be simultaneously funny and hot will be lost forever. We'll have only old tweets to show our grandchildren and they won't believe us. "You're telling me the person who wrote this was funny and also hot? You're a liar grandpa, fuck you."
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GASP! Incredible!
This movie is going to be so much better than Brave New World.
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I'm just waiting for whatever MCU Phase finally gives us that Tightpants/Tightpussy crossover film that we've all been waiting for.
And add a red hulk. Sure. Who fucking cares.
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Are we all positive that the former McKinsey dude is really our best shot for a Democrat that won't pander to the rich?
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Oh I don't think it was dismissive at all. For you, it was a difficult but clearly successful plan and I think you have every right to celebrate that. My apologies that I have to be the buzzkill that jumps in to say "Hey y'all, your mileage may vary on this one, be careful."
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This is awesome and I'm super thrilled for you.
Also, to anyone reading this who currently takes psych meds, please don't do this. Not saying that it can't work, but its wicked dangerous. The cold turkey part, not the working on discovering if you have other issues to deal with, that part is great.
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I asked for (and received!) a 3d printer for Christmas and I bet it's for remarkably similar reasons.
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There are absolutely photos of you making that face. I have proof. I will call the mayor.
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A haunting question. Is it better or worse if the animal loves it? You're probably right but what if you grab it and it just starts screaming "NOOO, DON'T TAKE ME, I HAVE SO MUCH MORE OF YOUR SHIT TO EAT, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, I JUST WANT TO EAT YOUR SHIT."
I think that's worse.
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Ah, that tracks. The quickest left to right pipeline flows directly through conspiracy theory forums and shit like that. Glad he's at least pulling back a bit. The SoaD drummer, much like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones singer, have very much committed to the right wing shit.
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Wait, I knew about SoaD, but who's the rightwing dipshit in Rage?
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I often wonder why I fell on the side of the razor's edge that I did. I had some conservative views, I own a Glenn Beck book from 2007. I think GamerGate happened and those freaks said "Fuck women, you're with us or you're with them." And, yeah, easy choice, you guys fucking suck, I'm with them.
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I get it, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect certain moral standards of the companies you interact with. I don't care what Google calls it, but if you start a company with the motto "Do No Evil" and then capitulate to evil immediately and without question, you should expect some pushback.
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I'm Ron Burgundy?
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whynotboth.gif
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And yet out of everything he listed, he failed to list any of our defense or security agencies (DoD, FBI, Armed Forces, CIA), all of which have been failing (or just not even participating in) audits for years.
But yeah. It's the social safety net. That's what is going to do all of us in.
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The crew finds them and there's a touching goodbye from Picard to Wesley right before the space morphine kicks in and Picard starts nodding off. Man, I bet the replicator makes the best opiates. Looks like I've got fun stuff to dream about tonight. Onwards!
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Wesley summons the ghost by firing a phaser at the waterfall until it arrives. Then he uses his original Game Boy (with Game Boy Camera) and condemns the tortured soul down into the depths of hell. That makes zero sense and is dumb as hell, so it's a perfect Wesley plan executed perfectly.
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Wesley is trying to explain the nerdy way he may have found a solution to this problem and Picard tells him to stop. Presumably so Picard can tell him something sweet but I would have also told him to shut up and I have nothing sweet to say to him.
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Wesley tells Picard that he's not going to die because he has thought his way through tougher situations than this. My guy, this isn't a riddle. His leg is shattered and his spleen is in his left pocket after being rocketed out of his asshole. He needs medical help, not positive vibes.
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Wesley tells Picard that Sparky is dead. Picard is dying and I can assure you he wastes zero of his limited remaining energy pretending to be surprised that Wesley got Sparky killed. Wesley tries to monologue Picard out of dying from shock and blood loss. It goes... fine.
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The Enterprise nearly fails to escape lethal radiation poisoning by like ten seconds. Nobody died but they all have a type of Turbo Cancer never before seen by man.
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Their plan requires Wesley to be a brave gunslinger and so it fails catastrophically and now Sparky is encased in hardened ghost webbing. I don't know if this means he's dead, but he hasn't had his booze in like 26 minutes so he's already touch and go.
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Picard tells Wesley that he has to learn how to stand up to Sparky on his own. Sparky's actual name is Dirgo but everyone pronounces it like the slur for Italians and it's incredibly funny. Sparky and Wesley think about what to do for about five seconds and Sparky is done.
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So Sparky starts to shoot the force field and I'm not using hyperbole or metaphor here, a ghost shows up and slaps them each on the mouth, then knocks some rocks down into the cave. I have the rock hit count here:
Sparky: 2 rocks
Wesley: 0 rocks
Picard: 477 rocks
So Picard is dying.
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Picard and Co. find a waterfall in the cave but it's surrounded by a force field. Wesley tries to figure it out, but Sparky has a different plan. The last time he tried to figure anything out, it ended with his wife leaving him for his brother while he explained that "it wasn't what it looked like."
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Since Picard is stuck in Act II of Diablo 2 (fuck that whole desert ass section of the game), we get to see Riker take a swing at being captain. He immediately runs the ship into an old abandoned hazardous waste cargo ship. Swing and a miss.
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Picard, Sparky, and Operation Desert Sprinkle get to a nearby cave. Sparky drops a small bottle of a clear liquid and Wesley thinks it's water because he's never met a Sparky before. Me, I've met plenty of them, I've known he had a booze bottle stashed in his crotch this whole time.
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Sparky tells Picard that he's not the captain out here and Wesley gets really mad and very literally almost says "Why I oughtta!" It's as intimidating as it sounds. Both Picard and Sparky tell him to shut up and he does without question.
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Sparky tells Picard he doesn't have any emergency food or water. Sparky says it's not his fault, he doesn't have a starship and he has to choose what to carry. I'm assuming his choices are always "stolen copper" and "no second thing"
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I know this isn't Wesley's fault. It's not his ship. But it still feels like it's his fault. That thruster was fine until Wesley got there.
The ship crashes hard into the planet. Nobody is wearing a seat belt. Sparky is straight up surfing the ship down. And much like Star Wars, everyone is fine.
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Picard is in the back studying so you've got Wesley and Captain Sparky in charge of getting everyone to their destination. I didn't even get to have the thought "well this is bad" before they lose a thruster and all navigation, causing them to spin out of control towards a nearby planet.
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The Enterprise gets a distress call from some fish people (more or less) and their planet might be under attack. The only way to get Picard and Wesley there is a weird Jawa-esque mining ship with a captain that proves that we gave up on capitalism at some point but never gave up on meth.
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We start with Wesley out of breath because he's running to respond to Picard summoning him. He claims it's because of an important experiment but it looks like he's been sweating for like an hour, so I'm gonna say he was pounding off in the holodeck again. RikerSkank6.hld must be working overtime.
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"Business Owners Exactly As Cynical and Cowardly As You Expected" is a much shorter way to phrase that.
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I remember the first time I heard "Lowtax" a while after I left the SA forums. "Huh," I thought, innocently. "Wonder what happened to that guy?"
"Oh. Oh dear."