For the first time in 20 years, this made me think of a local furniture store's tv commercials - "...where you always get a free onion." And then this 80s wrestler lookin dude would take a bite out of an onion.
Even central Illinois gets a little weird sometimes.
If his big thing is being immunocompromised, then I'd say invite them to a Zoom/Teams online meeting, one on one, and let them record the whole thing to post later.
If they still refuse to directly engage and go for the online clout-chasing, then cut bait.
my fav part of this is how all of the questions in his thread have been answered. Just not well enough to meet the Dana Houle standard! lol. i truly hope the GOP money pot he wants a pat on the head from sees that thread. He's doing big things for them with it.
All good, part of the deal. When your girlfriend goes to you and says "I want to run for office as a young woman," my first thought was definitely not, "My life is personally going to improve." But she's brilliant and a very good person, so I got out of her way. I'm just very proud of her.
It is a lot of hard work and totally different from just shooting opinions into the ether. If she decided to dig ditches instead of post and that’s what she wanted a partner should be proud of that too.
"Come on, fucker. Don't -just- be proud. Tell us WHY she's so great. What, you scared of displaying positive masculinity? Don't want people to think you're a good partner? Fuckin scared?"
You should have said, “No. You can only run for office as a young man. Grow a penis and then we’ll discuss. I am the man of the house and I have spoken.”
I suppose you had to consider the ethical challenges of......... your Onion News involvment and the uh, journalistic malpractice (??????) of supporting your girlfriend?
The Honorable thing is to measure the apartment, and bulk buys on tarps. It's really embarassing to give your beloved a throne of skulls if you haven't really thought about A) getting rid of the bodies of her enemies, and B) making sure it can fit in the living room of a $4,000 Chicago apartment.
I WAS a little puzzled; I didn't _think_ LA had a trademark on "Miracle Mile", but I'd never heard of one in Chicago. I just figured "I'm not from there, what do I know?"
And he’s acting like they’re billionaires and Ben has the keys to Norad like, who fucking cares about these two it means nothing I’m happy for them. Yay. Why is this a thing?
Although, if you think about it, if you want to keep the keys to NORAD safe, the last place anyone would think they'd be hidden would be The Onion's HQ.
Especially after they ran a story about how the keys to NORAD are now stored there, lol.
@bencollins.bsky.social I will get lunch in the Miracle Mile with you. We could do Cheesecake Factory? That ok Lou’s on Rush. The new tavern on rush? Anything on the Miracle Mile we all know and love.
Right, if you don't want to meet for lunch because your'e immunocompromized, you say "Hey, I'm not comfortable going to a restaurant these days, maybe a Zoom call instead?"
No, definitely a better idea to just be a bitch on Bluesky.
Oh my god, he's also one of those lib racists who falsely blames Arabs and progressives for WHITE MODERATES and CONSERVATIVES electing Trump.
Like, even if every Michigan Arab voted for Harris, she'd still lose. Switch the top 3 third party votes to Harris, still loses. Fucking loser all around.
No, I was just using an example from my real life and I don't often have non-friends asking me out for a meal. It's still a weird response to someone asking if you wanna get together to discuss something in person, either way.
ah. I think the non-friend asking is what makes it weird, but I'm biased bc we have a local politician who does this to anyone who asks about her work or criticizes her so that she doesn't have to put anything in writing.
I mean, I think when someone is constantly publicly saying shit about you - it makes sense to extend an offer to meet in person to talk about it? If they were total strangers who never heard of each other before, yea, that'd be totally weird.
Really respect that you took it with them directly, reached out and tried to settle it like adults. Won't work with most of these folks, but that's on them. Worth the shot.
Hey Ben Collins, your journalistic ethics are abysmal. In this thread I will list all the reasons why you should buy me lunch and also why I can't attend said lunch 1/?
In related news. The fella to whose defense I uttered a few words of support blocked me. Must’ve been me mentioning the nullification of duly elected candidates to the DNC.
This social media stuff is a fucking minefield. Anyway, if you’re in Il-09, please consider Kat Abu as your Rep. she has been one of the strongest voices for the working class and anti-genocide out there.
Now I have this picture in my head of them sitting at a table in a restaurant. Ben is trying to have a constructive conversation and Dana is just furiously typing skeets on their phone about the situation and firing them off.
As far as I can tell, he is *majorly* upset because you & your partner weren't Facebook official for 2 months. I don't know, not very good at giving straight answers & blocked me when I asked which candidate he was working for.
I don’t understand why I keep seeing everyone on this website being so damn weird about Kat. That’s what this is again about, isn’t it? It’s starting to feel coordinated.
I'd think it's also possible to be have a similar political philosophy to the person you're dating and therefore support their candidacy regardless of personal relationship.
Alternatively if you want me to say mean things about you on the internet first I might be willing to do that, but honestly you seem pretty reasonable.
There's some highly "ME ME ME" posturing going on here with all the "I am a living human person," "shamelessly pushing" and "not stop criticizing [...] egregious violation" et al
Oh goodness, as I rewind a little after learning Dana's some kind of political support animal minus points to me for my somnolent reading comprehension re: living human person, who said it, to whom
Wild that they claim you're guilty of some nebulous ethics violation (from a relationship you've never hidden lmao) while they clout chase like a fucking boomer.
p.s. I mask everywhere & eat outdoors when it's cold as a witch's tit. It's an option! their real excuse is the "I don't wanna" bit lol
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Like, come on my guy. Just be a person.
Even central Illinois gets a little weird sometimes.
If they still refuse to directly engage and go for the online clout-chasing, then cut bait.
Go eat a slop sandwich you stinky little ass turd 🖕
...On second thought, not worth the risk of a chop suey sandwich
This was sincere. Sorry if it came of aggressive
😂😋
(If she's into that).
Especially after they ran a story about how the keys to NORAD are now stored there, lol.
No, definitely a better idea to just be a bitch on Bluesky.
Like, even if every Michigan Arab voted for Harris, she'd still lose. Switch the top 3 third party votes to Harris, still loses. Fucking loser all around.
Here's Why I Hate Your Restaurant Choice 1/543 ...
https://bsky.app/profile/jos1463.bsky.social/post/3lpaqquktbc2h
I asked if he was okay, and he blocked me. Guess he's not okay!
But it’s just walking through Shedd aquarium eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Kat will be an excellent representative for her community. FULL STOP.
This person needs to find a therapist & stop fixating on the few people actively standing up to this fascist administration.
look i'm sorry but this is as close as i'll ever get to writing for the onion
Huh?
If so, he should be happy that she'll lose and it'll all be over with.
"... because I'm upset that she personally won't fuck me" well now we have an issue
(Not trying to kink shame or anything.)
There's some highly "ME ME ME" posturing going on here with all the "I am a living human person," "shamelessly pushing" and "not stop criticizing [...] egregious violation" et al
p.s. I mask everywhere & eat outdoors when it's cold as a witch's tit. It's an option! their real excuse is the "I don't wanna" bit lol