Fun fact: the Senate doesn't even have a rule against dilatory motions as such. Make all the repeated objections you want, and then appeal them. You can get vote after vote after vote after vote.
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This is one more reason we need more criminal defense attorneys in Congress. We’re used to getting in the way, even when people are annoyed with us. It’s a skill set!
Me: Mr President, I have a parliamentary inquiry in two parts
Pro-Tem: No it must be a simple question
Me: Ok so my inquiry is whether it is possible to make a parliamentary inquiry in two parts
Pro-Tem: it is not
Me: I would like to appeal the ruling of the chair
Pro-Tem: I swear to fucken god
Pro-Tem: So let's begin with today's business
Me (looks around the chamber and sees every chair is full): I would like to note the lack of a quorum
Pro-Tem: (looks around the chamber and sees every chair is full): ...
Me: ...
Pro-Tem: ...
Me: ...
Pro-Tem: (sigh) the clerk will call the roll
i want @pandamonium.bsky.social to filibuster so that we could get eight straight hours of facts about the Sega Saturn put into the congressional record
"Mr. President, it is my view that the Sega Saturn was not just a good game console, but a great one & that the american people agree that,
Senator: I ask that the vote scheduled at 12:15 occur immediately
Pro-Tem: without objection, it is so orde..
Me: I object
Pro-Tem: what
Me: I object
(6 minutes of inaudible whispers with parliamentarian)
Pro-Tem: fine, we stand adjourned until 12:15 without objection, so
Me: I object
Pro-Tem: WHAT
Don’t forget committees - they’re constantly asking unanimous consent to put stuff in the record, every one of those should be objected to or voted on until the committee chair gets too steamed up and has to adjourn so he can go lie down
West wing had a good one dem bringing a poster onto the floor and then having another dem object to it. That way you can appeal the ruling of the chair regardless of the ruling.
The democrats should start tracking who can cause the most delay and fundraiser off of it. Make it fun.
Read letters from constituents into the record. According to my constituents I quote, “Elon Musk is an unelected deplorable soggy sack of fertilizer but unlike fertilizer is useless and causes things to die. He’s so pathetic he can’t even play recreational games without cheating”
ISTG if they just gave me a mic I could natter on for well over an hour, no phone book needed. They need someone to handle an overnight filibuster shift?
"I understand our colleagues care a great deal about tradition and history, so I'll be reading into the record _Beowulf_..."
It would be so great if they could just keep that up continuously until Mitch McConnell finally meets his maker, so he can die as he lived - engaging in Senatorial rat fuckery.
Once when summering at a law firm, we were doing practice depositions, and I just objected to everything and no one could handle it and everyone got mad at me. Send me in coach, I've been practicing my whole life.
Don't forget to start an edition war. "Current rules state that...but they use prior definitions with entrenched understandings... Can we get the chair to define the term 'and'?"
Jeffries: “…without objection, I enter into the record the following post, made today at 10:17 am by one AbraCadaver88: ‘player (which is in reference to Speaker Johnson) must roll a 17 before the post displaying his Pornhub search results can be scrubbed from r/CSPAN.’ I yield my time.”
I'll never forget the day McConnell filibustered his own bill.
McC: "I'd like to propose that the President (Obama) can set the debt ceiling."
Reid: "Let's do this!"
McC: "Um. Take-backs?" https://youtu.be/uRIxK8JbBSM?si=rLSWoxIGTbNf4W83
I rise today to discuss a topic of utmost importance to the Senate, best summarized by the entire transcript of the bee movie, which, I intend to now recite. Now, as all senators are surely already aware, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly
(fourteen hours later): and then darth maul is all swwooozzhh and obi wan is whooozzz and then darth maul is like noooo
Pro-Tem: will the senator yield
Me: No
Pro-Tem: (under his breath) what is happening
Comments
Pro-Tem: No it must be a simple question
Me: Ok so my inquiry is whether it is possible to make a parliamentary inquiry in two parts
Pro-Tem: it is not
Me: I would like to appeal the ruling of the chair
Pro-Tem: I swear to fucken god
Me (looks around the chamber and sees every chair is full): I would like to note the lack of a quorum
Pro-Tem: (looks around the chamber and sees every chair is full): ...
Me: ...
Pro-Tem: ...
Me: ...
Pro-Tem: (sigh) the clerk will call the roll
"Mr. President, it is my view that the Sega Saturn was not just a good game console, but a great one & that the american people agree that,
Pro-Tem: without objection, it is so orde..
Me: I object
Pro-Tem: what
Me: I object
(6 minutes of inaudible whispers with parliamentarian)
Pro-Tem: fine, we stand adjourned until 12:15 without objection, so
Me: I object
Pro-Tem: WHAT
The democrats should start tracking who can cause the most delay and fundraiser off of it. Make it fun.
"I understand our colleagues care a great deal about tradition and history, so I'll be reading into the record _Beowulf_..."
McC: "I'd like to propose that the President (Obama) can set the debt ceiling."
Reid: "Let's do this!"
McC: "Um. Take-backs?"
https://youtu.be/uRIxK8JbBSM?si=rLSWoxIGTbNf4W83
Pro-Tem: will the senator yield
Me: No
Pro-Tem: (under his breath) what is happening
possibly overqualified tbh