Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores theonion.com/conserv... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 32 days ago

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores
https://theonion.com/conservative-outraged-tampons-available-in-mens-grocery-stores/

Comments

redneckedhippie.bsky.social•32 days ago

It's hard not to be too on the nose these days.

celesteellioty.bsky.social•31 days ago

Please don’t give them ideas lol. It’s shocking some men are triggered by tampons

joeaconite.com•32 days ago

I have heard this actual complaint about condoms as well. People think these should be hidden behind the pharmacy counter.

nathan-ramsey13.bsky.social•32 days ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

harley1688.bsky.social•32 days ago

Man's grocery store?!? Can they even find it without asking for directions which they won't do? Now I want to know what is in there. Beer and hotdogs?

argonianmage.bsky.social•32 days ago

Only the absolutely abysmally shitties of beer and hotdogs at that.

weallm8kemist8ks.bsky.social•32 days ago

Not only this, but I keep seeing WOMEN in my MEN's kroger store. How will I explain this to my adult children

kickboxmom.bsky.social•32 days ago

What is a “men’s grocery store”? Seriously, I’ve never heard of that before….

rudigeerts.bsky.social•32 days ago

I was wondering myself.
Is this KKK segregation?

kickboxmom.bsky.social•31 days ago

Oh, 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and it’s Springfield Illinois, where Lincoln’s home was. Irony at its best.

ratchetology.bsky.social•31 days ago

when did the onion stop doing parody?

birdiero.bsky.social•32 days ago

Misread as the tampons being conservative outraged

daji12.bsky.social•32 days ago

I read that too, at first. Lol

rickgamesnow.bsky.social•32 days ago

If I didn't know this was an Onion article, I'd believe it.

That's how fuckin' stupid 2025 is.

james-mccormick.bsky.social•32 days ago

These are the same people who are angry that needle bins are in bathrooms

guesswhoboo.bsky.social•32 days ago

Sounds about right.

alisonpress.bsky.social•32 days ago

Don’t give them ideas !

teresabees.bsky.social•32 days ago

Absolutely, we can NOT risk 5 year old boys pointing at them and asking their dad "what's that?" He doesn't know either!

solvseus.bsky.social•32 days ago

Fun fact: girls' teams would often use the boys room while traveling for away games, so tampons should have been available anyway.

A coach would know that, but aholes who don't actually care about girls would not.

coninkincardine.bsky.social•31 days ago

Itz to shove up tge8r assses

babyhippo.bsky.social•32 days ago

I will come and remove them for free and give them out to those who cannot afford them there both sides have what they need and want

samandtootie.bsky.social•24 days ago

😆

bourbonstreet.bsky.social•32 days ago

YOU WIN THE INTERNET!

roeastm.bsky.social•32 days ago

My late mother was visiting my older sister's house and spotted tampons in the bathroom. She said to my sister "put them away, you don't your husband to see them". My sister said "he bought them".

franwinslow.bsky.social•32 days ago

Oh Onion how I’ve missed you!

peteremmert2025.bsky.social•31 days ago

The only items that should be available are the obvious items with names like Trojan
unless women's companies decide to put out men's items under a woman's brand name or buy out the men's companies.

x3lilly.bsky.social•31 days ago

r/AteTheOnion

scififan.bsky.social•32 days ago

Since when did conservative men start doing grocery?

popezebbidiexii.bsky.social•32 days ago

after the divorce

yulriddick.bsky.social•32 days ago

Even our health products aren't safe. DEI demand a place on the shelves. Why are Cons the only ones who are mad?

shslhopelight.bsky.social•31 days ago

I love ya 😂

melindabrush.bsky.social•31 days ago

The nerve of those libs… what’s next???!!!

nerissassippi.bsky.social•32 days ago

😂🤣😂

sophietica.bsky.social•32 days ago

Don't conservative men think grocery stores are for Females only anyway?🤪

stormytalks.bsky.social•32 days ago

Probably the same people who are outraged that they have gender-neutral bathrooms at home.

sythalin.bsky.social•31 days ago

When are you guys planning to get back to satire?

lasivian.bsky.social•31 days ago

Where are these grocery stores for men? Asking for a friend... 😅

shehasaplacetogo.bsky.social•31 days ago

Some men do go for wives/gf.. I had to had my dad stop twice in my life...once when I was younger and again when I had covid 🤷🏽‍♀️🤣

speedypita.bsky.social•32 days ago

I thought The Onion was satire? Headlines recently are too plausible.

caren.bsky.social•32 days ago

Same thing happened to NYT Pitchbot.

seawitch1031.bsky.social•32 days ago

What a time to be alive, am I right?

bofusteefus.bsky.social•32 days ago

Trying to write satire. Tough work these days.

kindofnews.bsky.social•30 days ago

Tell me about it...

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

As I said, in every truth, it is a grain of joke. 😉

pizzasquirrel08.bsky.social•32 days ago

If satire is dead, why do we have to keep killing it?

majorliz.bsky.social•32 days ago

😅✌️

madelinelster.bsky.social•32 days ago

They should get combat pay

bofusteefus.bsky.social•32 days ago

The way things are headed....

aruhiya.bsky.social•32 days ago

wait this is too real 😭 back it up back it up

grateful-cynic.bsky.social•32 days ago

Manpons lol

dweber0099.bsky.social•32 days ago

Children might see!

amykeith.bsky.social•31 days ago

Lol

stormiedae.bsky.social•31 days ago

Girl what lol

lyintad.bsky.social•32 days ago

Men’s grocery store: pickups and deliveries!

skipai.bsky.social•32 days ago

You think they want to go and buy cleaning products and get touched by atoms that transition from solid to soapy sods?

They might melt... Think of that big news item.

Conservative melt by woke cleaning soap bubbles with power of mini rainbow powers.

pottersville.bsky.social•32 days ago

relax, guys - you soak them in vodka and shove them up your butt

y'know, man stuff

yellowlemons.bsky.social•32 days ago

😂😂😂😂

dynamitefuzz.bsky.social•32 days ago

Kavanaugh knows all about it.

whimsycalling.bsky.social•32 days ago

Hey, ladies do this too. I've got 3 in my butt right now

pottersville.bsky.social•32 days ago

Impressive.
Send it to my DMs. 😋

blondiegrrl.bsky.social•31 days ago

See also: Men who buy tampons for their wives are “betas” and “soy boys.”

kodagraphy.bsky.social•32 days ago

The fatal flaw with this joke is that it implies conservative men have ever been near the hygiene section of a grocery store

quinny265.bsky.social•32 days ago

A real man wouldn't go shopping. That's what the wife is for.

wingsandsword.bsky.social•32 days ago

They go in it for the first time in their 40's, after they've been divorced.

It's something of a reality shock for them.

adamwoz.bsky.social•31 days ago

Shopping is woke

blondiegrrl.bsky.social•31 days ago

Right? These a-holes wouldn’t step foot in a grocery store. That’s a job for the wife (unlikely given that most are single or divorced), mother (more likely), or some poor DoorDash driver who doesn’t get tipped.

karens-last-ziti.bsky.social•32 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

kiltedmachine.bsky.social•32 days ago

I had to check thrice to make sure this actually The Onion.

plannedtheride.bsky.social•32 days ago

('my god! that's what those items cost these days!!?!?' a well aged woman asks incredulously)

bananaranm.bsky.social•31 days ago

Republicans always angry.

thatnuttybroad.bsky.social•31 days ago

😆 🤣 😂

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

I need conservative outraged tampons to make earrings!

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

Truly?!? Why do they wander into the forbidden section?

drewabouts.bsky.social•32 days ago

Sorry to break it to ye bro's, fact continues to be that most people on this planet are female, and they have extant vaginas and whatnot. Looks to continue to be the case, bruh. Also, still has to be God's plan this whole time. More pushups, maybe? Squeeze off some rounds about it? =-)

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

Have you heard of good ol' Onion, hon?

drewabouts.bsky.social•32 days ago

used to love picking up The Onion and I'll confess to The Weekly World News as well from time to time. I can't see an image of Rudy Giulliani without seeing Bat Boy, for like thirty years, now..

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

Still missing paper copies. It was a great table protector and you'll get stuck rereading last year ones. :)

chancellor.social•31 days ago

The Onion is back in print, actually! I can confirm that it’s every bit as hilarious as it used to be. :) https://membership.theonion.com/

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•31 days ago

Need me some present 🎁 😉

thehorrorhomo.bsky.social•32 days ago

lol we are sadly close to this

snakewizards.bsky.social•32 days ago

It's bad that I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this were real.

lbaca.bsky.social•32 days ago

I hear women use razors. What's next? Razors for men?!

jimmolemaster.bsky.social•32 days ago

Too real, Onion!

lilredscout.bsky.social•32 days ago

BUTT PLUGS

tonnaree.bsky.social•32 days ago

This was honestly my first thought.....

majorliz.bsky.social•32 days ago

😅😅

lilredscout.bsky.social•32 days ago

Hooo

desertdogs-az.bsky.social•32 days ago

I could say something disgusting involving the color red right now but probably just too triggering for some. 🙃

gregory9.bsky.social•32 days ago

Well of course he's outraged. It's been scientifically proven that Eve is responsible for everything bad in the world, especially that "eating from the tree of knowledge" part! And if she's bleeding, she ain't pregnant--yet another sin!

cyberjesus.bsky.social•31 days ago

Blue tastes good.

rigel07.bsky.social•32 days ago

I love the Onion! lol

virtualphoton.bsky.social•32 days ago

What are mens grocery stores. I haven't seen one.

chlochlosayshi.bsky.social•31 days ago

Wow then you're not a real man. 😤

madammimm.bsky.social•32 days ago

They're the ones who need tampons the most.

lots42.bsky.social•31 days ago

I said online once 'Tampon's in men's restrooms? A guy could bring some home for his sister!' and Republicans got Big Mad.

majorliz.bsky.social•32 days ago

😅😅😅😅✌️✌️✌️✌️

romanowski45.bsky.social•31 days ago

not your best work

andrewkaiko.bsky.social•32 days ago

There are "mens grocery stores"??? Are we segregating genders now???

artemis46.bsky.social•32 days ago

It's The Onion, hon.

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•32 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

altdhs.bsky.social•32 days ago

Tell him they're band-aids for bullet wounds.

tangledsilk.bsky.social•29 days ago

🤣😂🤣

lynnho.bsky.social•32 days ago

🤣

thetevis.bsky.social•32 days ago

when satire comes too close to reality...

seraphboo.bsky.social•31 days ago

I had to check if it was the Onion or not...

lumpyspacetim.bsky.social•32 days ago

WAWA?

famous-poodle.bsky.social•31 days ago

Give it time and I'm sure some conservative men would be outraged about this

magerightsactivist.bsky.social•32 days ago

Don't give them ideas.

juneaugrovskansk.bsky.social•32 days ago

Ideas that they get upset? Oh noooo

znobfly.bsky.social•31 days ago

Why does this sound real?

jennifkslc.bsky.social•32 days ago

Unfortunately your headlines give GOPpers bad ideas, making satire obsolete

phishphillet.bsky.social•32 days ago

Uhhh, aren't those supposed to be good for plugging bullet holes? Won't the Alpha-male MAGA cultists need them when they instigate their civil war or race war or electric boogaloo?