Elon Musk Touts Project To Teach Neuralink Monkeys To Commit Sexual Harassment theonion.com/elon-mu... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 2 days ago

Elon Musk Touts Project To Teach Neuralink Monkeys To Commit Sexual Harassment
https://theonion.com/elon-musk-touts-project-to-teach-neuralink-monkeys-to-c-1849753166/

Comments

kcotner.bsky.social•2 days ago

Like father, like son?

dolanrider.bsky.social•2 days ago

And there was me thinking you were a satirical publication. I feel like a fool.

obersteinvonpaul.bsky.social•2 days ago

Elon Musk pictured here trying not to shit his pants

bentistae.bsky.social•1 day ago

I don't understand something.

Why would anyone expect anything less than vile and nefarious from a white South African men?

Please explain it to me.

simongood.bsky.social•2 days ago

All monkeys can now say pedo.

asamattoon.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is highly believable.

songknifekyrin.bsky.social•2 days ago

he's going to see this lmao

mjayne01.bsky.social•2 days ago

They would have to be brought back from the dead first. An animal study with this much death should have been shut down. Now he has human subjects.

lesnielbc.bsky.social•2 days ago

lol - that might be the most random hilarious headline ever

briancst.bsky.social•2 days ago

OK... this one is real. Right?

grateful-1.bsky.social•2 days ago

From WEIRD to Reallllly WEIRD to Absolutely DISGUSTING!... Classless/SICKO Billionaire! 🫩🤮🫩

toainsully.bsky.social•2 days ago

Knowing Elon Musk, it's something he'd actually do

heatherrosebpn.bsky.social•2 days ago

What a world we live in, when it’s so hard to distinguish parody from actual events!

oakstave.bsky.social•2 days ago

I appreciate the depths The Onion has to go to reach parody that isn't just plausible.

iranphotos.bsky.social•2 days ago

They say the next government will be 90% staffed by the Neuralink-integrated intergalactic offsprings Musk has spawned in Area 51. It’s more efficient! 😁

csapidus.bsky.social•1 day ago

This would still be an improvement over Musk's normal trolling contrarianism.

biblioholic44.bsky.social•2 days ago

Onion, again, this is too plausible. You’re gonna have to try harder! (The is a good place for a ‘that’s what she said’ joke, but Elon couldn’t even make one of those work)

thepowerdroid.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why does he look like his face implants are rejecting?

someguypdx.bsky.social•2 days ago

Counterpoint: he's turning into Bane, mask and all.

thepowerdroid.bsky.social•2 days ago

Thank you; that makes more sense. God knows he is as coherent as Bane.....

zestychinchilla.bsky.social•2 days ago

"2 years"

justbfree.bsky.social•1 day ago

With his sperm

zmickimo57.bsky.social•2 days ago

If anyone’s up to the job it Elon.

parodymusk.bsky.social•2 days ago

please give me more money this is important research and needs funding

nanlinear.bsky.social•2 days ago

bro wtf 😄

emilysylveon.bsky.social•2 days ago

don't give him ideas!

gmsingh123.bsky.social•2 days ago

This sounds real.

sunils.bsky.social•2 days ago

I think he put this into the NSF proposal where he applied for funding to set up DOGE.

lawnchairmedia.bsky.social•2 days ago

That's a good picture of him. This guy looks more ready for half assed science projects

waldojeffers-13.bsky.social•2 days ago

What?
I thought Musk was the result of that project.

jack50923.bsky.social•2 days ago

I thought this was a real thing. Seems very musk like.

juantannedemo-bae.bsky.social•2 days ago

Meh....

mrantifascism.com•2 days ago

I wouldn’t be at all suprised.

(I cover politics and social issues, focusing on fighting fascism and raising awareness about key injustices. Please follow me if interested!)

leifrt.bsky.social•2 days ago

Holy. You're quite the serial poster. Following to see what's up. Thanks for stepping up.

tiffany-greeneyes.bsky.social•2 days ago

Of all the people who should NEVER be connected with implanting computers into people brains, he’s got to be at least top 5 on the list. I know it’s satire, but I am genuinely afraid of what not-satire looks like in his plans.

ryanjames7.bsky.social•2 days ago

He tried getting the first batch pregnant.

mrlinas.bsky.social•2 days ago

Is that Elon or one of the said neuralink monkeys?

legallyblindgamer.bsky.social•2 days ago

I mean aren’t they already in our government?

xardex.dev•2 days ago

Tough times. The Onion articles read like possible future news articles

rerussell.bsky.social•2 days ago

That is a great photo of Elmo, please tell me it is not doctored aside from contrast and color. He looks like they just pulled him out of a Bachian food/orgy on his private island, stuck him in a suit, and his super-K just kicked in.

kyr-shara.bsky.social•2 days ago

If the monkey can go against their nature and sexually harass then it can be installed in the white house occupants to do the opposite

chzakalwe.bsky.social•2 days ago

Efficiency!

speerheld.bsky.social•2 days ago

dogmaticpyrrhonist.bsky.social•2 days ago

I would have thought he would have tried for Nazi monkeys first. The Swedish harassment would usually just manifest as a side effect then

makebreak.bsky.social•2 days ago

Hey, stop picking on us swedes!

dogmaticpyrrhonist.bsky.social•1 day ago

ROFL autocorrect is blaming Swedes for everything. I should know not to post on my phone by now

amyfromiacon.bsky.social•2 days ago

Don't give him ideas.😱

kebug.bsky.social•2 days ago

I hardly even batted an eye at this one

leifrt.bsky.social•2 days ago

Um.... agreed.

corybharris.bsky.social•2 days ago

Wake me up when they like menthols

jasonleader.bsky.social•2 days ago

i HONESTLY wouldn't be shocked out of him.

mrfishnews.bsky.social•2 days ago

So…… joking about sexual harassment is ok as long as it involves an autistic Trump supporter?

nerdyheisenberg.bsky.social•2 days ago

Now you're just giving him ideas. 😬

ilford800.bsky.social•1 day ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tFXQ-Nct98

bentistae.bsky.social•1 day ago

I don't understand something.

Why would anyone expect anything less than vile and nefarious from a white South African men?

Please explain it to me.

jc-allen.bsky.social•2 days ago

Neuralink monkeys? You mean some survived???

purpldragn.bsky.social•2 days ago

If it wasn't for the Onion logo...

snappyjack.bsky.social•2 days ago

Yep. They're starting to blend in.

oconnellmark.bsky.social•1 day ago

atticusthraxx.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ever watched monkeys? They don’t need no instruction.

birdie2019.bsky.social•2 days ago

And have more children

mebasia.bsky.social•2 days ago

Demented🤡

99mikey.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is what our tax dollars are used for now?!?!?

mrsfifid.bsky.social•2 days ago

Neuralink monkeys? You mean DOGE?

mop-fautneddy.bsky.social•2 days ago

Anyone else remember George Segal in The Terminal Man?

aquaticjazstar.bsky.social•2 days ago

They do it already. Taking credit for nature’s ideas now.

mfletcher530.bsky.social•2 days ago

“Bonzo, no means no!”

aeiman.bsky.social•2 days ago

Good job!

graywyvern.bsky.social•2 days ago

are you sure this isn't real

svammel.bsky.social•2 days ago

Rumor has it influencers are realizing that whoever is the first to publish the story of a particular monkey’s brain plastered across the street will cash out the largest payout of any post made in the history of social media and human kind just need to do it.