Internet user whose computer is possessed by a demon: yeah so there's teeth coming out of the CPU socket and the graphics card fans start saying "hail satan" when temperatures are over 70 degrees Linux Guy: You should install Linux. - ThreadSky

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social • 165 days ago

Internet user whose computer is possessed by a demon: yeah so there's teeth coming out of the CPU socket and the graphics card fans start saying "hail satan" when temperatures are over 70 degrees

Linux Guy: You should install Linux.

Comments

flowerpatch.me•165 days ago

we are going to ignore the linux discourse and instead contemplate feeding the CPU socket different CPUs in case it's just hungry and in need of a snack

radiooptimism.tv•165 days ago

Everytime someone tells me to install
Linux, I tell them to write me a thesis on why their preference is suddenly deemed factual, and to prove to me why specifically I need to change my preference.

And then I tell them to get a sex change because I don’t like who they are.

shadylink.lol•165 days ago

Windows Guy: You should reinstall windows

slouchingtiger.bsky.social•165 days ago

Make sure you compile with the '-noteeth' flag.

chickywashere.bsky.social•165 days ago

Theyre right tho

dumonetoverdrive.bsky.social•165 days ago

Idk, worked for me. That goddamn thing was a cursed artifact

asadiablo.me•165 days ago

We say that because we can show you how to write arcane regular expressions to restrain, control, and use that demonic presence.

gcr74.bsky.social•165 days ago

You could install Linux, but the graphics card fans would still be saying “hail satan”, but now they’d be saying it in some obscure dialect of Latin only understood by people from a remote region of Norway, and the length of pause between “hail” and “satan” would be semantically important.

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

Not Latin, Aramaic!!! 😆

boomies-n-zoomies.bsky.social•165 days ago

I mean, they clearly already have BSD installed.

darklooshkin.bsky.social•165 days ago

As a linux guy, if your rig is liquid cooled, chuck a measure of holy water in there first and have the installation medium anointed before inserting it into the drive.

Also, if you wish to retain the demonic influence in a more controlled and user-friendly manner, use an image of Arch Linux.

raspyhobo.bsky.social•165 days ago

To be fair, there is probably a very specific distro developed just for this use case.

meganautsworld.com•165 days ago

That's a long winded description of your average Mac computer.

ldo17.bsky.social•164 days ago

🐧:\>

tm64g.bsky.social•165 days ago

wii u guy: hey yall scott here

maxthyme.bsky.social•164 days ago

Linux comes with daemons and those are cooler cause they have the ae.

claybath.bsky.social•165 days ago

Uh yeah install Ubuntu satanic edition (real btw) it works best with your hardware

rippedaf.bsky.social•165 days ago

You could try.

sudo rm -f daemon

anothershinigami.bsky.social•165 days ago

But then you’ll have to do everything yourself

bishopfawx.bsky.social•165 days ago

no firefox better

andyness.bsky.social•165 days ago

Everyone knows the devil hates open source

gloomygus.bsky.social•165 days ago

Instructions unclear, installed NeXTSTEP

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

Nah, forget Linux. Throw FreeBSD on that machine. It'll show Windows how worshiping Satan is done!!!

casual-user.bsky.social•165 days ago

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

😆😆😆

chkgrz.bsky.social•165 days ago

Here, you need this: https://archiveos.org/ubuntu-satanic/

hellpuppygirl.tgirl.gay•165 days ago

Consider:

taskmasterfox.bsky.social•165 days ago

Powerful

karlvilca.bsky.social•165 days ago

It's probably good advice.

I tried holy water when I had the same thing happen to my PC...not good.

artarken.bsky.social•165 days ago

Well of course, it might help the demon communicate with you better. (or give it a more open path to world domination)

teffie.bsky.social•165 days ago

There was a webcomic I used to read decades ago where one of the punchlines was "get a mac"

asura.dev•165 days ago

I had a perfectly working computer and I wanted an Eldritch horror.
So anyway well actually I run linux as my daily driver desktop.

jmschultzen.bsky.social•165 days ago

Yeah, if anyone would decide to suddenly hit Linux with a virus, it’d be f*cked. It’s just that noone cares. 🤷‍♂️

reyak.bsky.social•165 days ago

Always worked for me. My friend gave me his laptop after hurling it across the room, which apart for some wires, separated the computer from the monitor. Linux was the only thing I could install on the thing. Worked for years.

guitarnut.bsky.social•165 days ago

Same , a very old 15 yesrs or so win95 laptop fucked up by my daughter . Linux, blindingly fast

oldtrot.bsky.social•165 days ago

Linux runs on daemons.

girltwink.io•165 days ago

Ugh, I hate when people use installing Linux as the hammer to every proverbial nail.

It’s clear your computer needs TempleOS not Linux.

radlegaltakes.bsky.social•165 days ago

Once you install Linux, all your meals going forward will become Doritos and Mountain Dew.

iamweke.bsky.social•165 days ago

Gotta say you change chips using 2004 Toshiba be like

technicalsquirrel.bsky.social•165 days ago

Linux is full of daemons though.

shanelewin.bsky.social•165 days ago

"computer, stop trying to summon the dark Lord and bring about the end of mankind."
"No, hahahahh!"
"SUDO stop trying to summon the dark Lord and bring about the end of mankind."
".... OK."

lospocolocolobos.bsky.social•165 days ago

Pedantic guy: I've got the same thing, it's actually above 69 degrees.

Comment section: Huhu, he said 69

ottojschlosser.bsky.social•165 days ago

You know what they say - when you hold a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

marmosaints.com•165 days ago

Listen, if your unnameable horrors from the firey pits of hell aren't FOSS, you're just a corporate shill.

andrewhappy.bsky.social•165 days ago

I wouldn't install Linux even if windows strangled me. I despise windows, but the convenience of not needing to know anything is so worth it.

droningg.bsky.social•165 days ago

let's be serious here, any witch that pulls off a summoning spell like that into her computer was already running linux...

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

This right here!!! 😆 Well done!!!

the-dudemeister.bsky.social•164 days ago

He would be correct.

irishwol.bsky.social•165 days ago

tbf it would probably work.

medianow1.bsky.social•164 days ago

If Linux won't cure it. Ubuntu will.

ultravioletpossum.bsky.social•165 days ago

well yeah cuz linux already has demons in it so the kernel is custom built to contain them.

emiliapermafrost.bsky.social•165 days ago

daemons

aliensinnoh.bsky.social•165 days ago

Daemon is the guy who emails me to tell me my email was undeliverable.

ivymoth.bsky.social•165 days ago

cpu teeth and "hail satan"s are bloat, probably why it's so hot, you should install linux. (I use Arch btw)

theobscure.bsky.social•165 days ago

...obviously you need to placate the daemons by installing FreeBSD.

reilzgamer.bsky.social•165 days ago

There's daemons all through Linux but as administrators/gods we have it under control lol

cyber-steve.bsky.social•164 days ago

Fact: my Arch installation cured my porn obsession...

glimmerofthechyron.bsky.social•164 days ago

Oh don’t be silly, this isn’t at all accurate. You can always try Linux in live mode by booting straight off the USB first. 😜

fractalnebulae.bsky.social•165 days ago

my parents in law insisted I buy a Subaru because they had one

everythingmachine.bsky.social•165 days ago

Where is the Linux guy wrong.

crazymango42.bsky.social•165 days ago

It's obvious that the only way to fix that is with Jesux.
https://pudge.net/jesux/

vctr.ninja•165 days ago

Daemon*

32mbit.bsky.social•165 days ago

Yeah I cringe so hard when I see people do this because I'm a Linux Guy and that shit is going to make you no friends. Also I think we both saw the same reply in the same thread.

shiftyclown.bsky.social•165 days ago

The Linux crowd are like vampires waiting is the dark places to strike. 👺

They're trying to recruit win users so that software companies would have to port software Windows users have been using to Linux.

It's about market share and consumerism.

Just use the OS that can run the software 🫵 ❤️‍

compwastaken.bsky.social•165 days ago

You're all wrong. This is a problem that can only be solved by installation of templeos, obviously

zipzapzorilla.com•165 days ago

Installing OpenDoomGuy to kill all those Daemons

suncfunsungejs.bsky.social•165 days ago

So you're running FreeBSD, that's cool 😎

andrewcreatez.bsky.social•165 days ago

that doom 2 commercial where the computer eats the player

rjazzman323.bsky.social•165 days ago

also: are you ⛏️⚒️...

mining can do that

vector-ze.bsky.social•165 days ago

My next computer setup will be a triple or maybe even quadruple boot—Linux in the mix.

plusran.bsky.social•165 days ago

Ok ok ok, I get it, the demonic stuff is bad. And installing Linux PROBABLY won't fix it, but:
1. It can't hurt &
2. You should install it anyway.

faaki.bsky.social•164 days ago

It do be like that

lainproliant.bsky.social•165 days ago

Make sure you install beezelbub-dkms so you can adjust the RGB lighting on those demon teeth

bendingsyntax.com•165 days ago

Linux guy: there not demons, there daemons!

bwenger.bsky.social•164 days ago

Preferably Ubuntu Satanic Edition?

stevekarmazenuk.bsky.social•165 days ago

HaVe YoU tRiEd ReBoOtInG iT iN sAfE mOdE?

kdxkawboy.bsky.social•165 days ago

Back in the 80s, from friends that worked for Intel, I heard stories of how they worked out the logic for the frustration chip - it sensed user frustration and generated random errors. They must have introduced demonic logic.

kazuyaminegi.bsky.social•165 days ago

the urge to make a Shin Megami Tensei reference-

actualdeity.bsky.social•165 days ago

manofthemeadow.bsky.social•165 days ago

Windows users needing to sell their soul just to boot the computer they already paid for

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

I've never activated windows in my life, I can't remember the first time I had an update on startup. The more Linux guys describe a reality that doesn't match mine, the happier I am with my windows machine.

manofthemeadow.bsky.social•165 days ago

Are you still on Windows 7? Based if so!

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

See, you did it again! Windows 10, and more proud of it than I was before reading your comment!

manofthemeadow.bsky.social•165 days ago

I'm just curious how you managed to get past Microsoft constantly pushing and pestering about "hey, you need to upgrade RIGHT NOW" or "hey, you need to activate RIGHT NOW" or making the computer only half functional without a Microsoft account!
Once they started pushing Windows 11, I was done!

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

The last time* not the first time

drjt4real.bsky.social•165 days ago

#lol

acaelliott.bsky.social•165 days ago

Well, he has a point ...

abbarach.bsky.social•146 days ago

That's actually not a bad strategy. Unless you spend way too much time finding drivers and editing configurations to enable it, most of the demonic stuff won't be supported, and will cease to function...

northbot.bsky.social•164 days ago

Do you think we use Linux because it's a religion? It's because we don't want to deal with that bloat AND because it's a religion.

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•165 days ago

"So to be clear, at BIOS the screen shows passages from something called the 'antibible' in red text and it doesn't let me choose a boot device."

"Installing Linux would fix this. Just hear me out here. Install Linux now."

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•165 days ago

"So the USB ports are on fire and all boot media I try to insert melt. Also the power supply is occasionally emitting live frogs. Advice on a fix is appreciated"

"You absolute imbecile, you ingrate, you nincompoop, just fucking install Linux already why won't you fucking listen"

filthy-casual64.bsky.social•146 days ago

I think I saw a news story on that, or something similar.

https://youtu.be/8AyVh1_vWYQ?si=imTycdaWSc7ZH5dX

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•165 days ago

"Found a workaround to finally get Linux installed on it by sacrificing a limb to get the hard drive out, putting it in a different computer which is now also starting to glow ominously, and installing Linux. What now"

"You've installed Linux. The only problem I care about here is solved. Bye."

xenobrina.bsky.social•165 days ago

"What distro did you install? Mint? You're such a noob, you should have sacrificed more limbs to get to Arch 🤓 "

chkgrz.bsky.social•165 days ago

Hey, now! I've been using Linux for over a quarter of a century, and I use Mint. Arch is for pretentious knobs. Mint is for people who just want their Linux to work.

xenobrina.bsky.social•165 days ago

Being real I don't get why Linux users even argue about which distro to use. For average users something easy to use like Mint just makes more sense. You don't need a super hard OS to browse Youtube on lol

heavilybauxite.bsky.social•165 days ago

I have a friend who lives in the terminal, bash, emacs, and vim who also daily drives mint.

gaminesquegambit.bsky.social•165 days ago

Arch is about the closest to "just working" while actually letting me do my silly little shenanigans I don't see what's so "pretentious knob"-by about that

fakeconsultant.bsky.social•165 days ago

"This is actually a pretty simple fix: ignore the ominous glow, open your browser, go to Facebook and close your account, then clear your browser cache and cookies, and you should be good"

anjelen.bsky.social•165 days ago

That said, *having* installed Linux (Mint, sue me) rather than enduring another day more of Windows 10 and it's incessant whining at me to get Windows 11 - on my three main machines, did literally solve all of my issues.

zestfullybe.bsky.social•165 days ago

I did the same with Mint on an old laptop. Because being a noob, I just wanted to install something and have it work and feel familiar out of the gate while I got my feet wet. It’s been mostly great, even on a 10 year old device.

I’m glad, too, because Windows 11 is embarrassingly bad. *Bad* bad.

tslycha.bsky.social•165 days ago

The problem with Linux guys is that they do this. Linux *girls*, on the other hand, will help you install Linux, summon an army of protector spirits, and introduce you to new kinks. Usually all in one evening, after show you an authentic Thai restaurant you didn't know about

laythelisuwi.bsky.social•164 days ago

@evelyn.woke.cat

casdenor.bsky.social•146 days ago

That is way too specific x)

glimmerofthechyron.bsky.social•164 days ago

All of this while also providing enthusiastic and ongoing follow-up support as well! Relatedly on the topic of the Linux girlies y’all really should check out this wonderful YouTube channel:

https://m.youtube.com/@BreadOnPenguins

jeana-mm.bsky.social•165 days ago

thats definitely a stackexchange moderator

kagejittai.bsky.social•165 days ago

Clearly you should've installed Temple OS. That's the only OS that demons are actually afraid of.

deadbyte.bsky.social•165 days ago

It’s not like, spiritual or anything, the demon will just see the handmade compiler and be so frightened of the person who made it that they just leave

i-cant-computer.bsky.social•165 days ago

Sorry but you installed the wrong Linux. Try a different distro.

jess-catte.bsky.social•165 days ago

This is starting to sound like a proper Pookleblinky post.

schala42.bsky.social•165 days ago

I think this how Sluggy Freelance started

epistemophagy.bsky.social•165 days ago

As it turns out the BIOS interface for this machine just uses red text by default so that's fine. I am a little concerned about how the screen has spontaneously started bleeding but I'm assuming that's just normal

punchupnotdown.bsky.social•165 days ago

Me: "Should my CD drive be opening and closing repeatedly while emitting the screams of the damned which I will hear in my nightmares until the sweet release of death?"

Linux dude: "LOL stupid Windows user. Install Linux you rube!"

whiteshadowfed.bsky.social•165 days ago

Gentoo is preferred

uglyoldf4rt.bsky.social•165 days ago

Yup. Linux fixes everything.

inplacesdeep.bsky.social•165 days ago

Me: why?

Linux guy: To fix it

Me: Fix it?!

inplacesdeep.bsky.social•165 days ago

Me: do you know how much blood it took to make it do this?!

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

Brilliant!!! 😆😆😆

dennis-moser.bsky.social•165 days ago

But which distro?

originz.bsky.social•165 days ago

Antichrist Linux

dennis-moser.bsky.social•165 days ago

Lol... is that a Debian or Ubuntu fork?

originz.bsky.social•165 days ago

I suppose that'd depend on which one's more 'devilish', I'm leaning towards Ubuntu being the base for Antichrist Linux 😂

dennis-moser.bsky.social•165 days ago

😇 I think I'd agree — been battling with finding an "ideal" distro for the Pi for actual music-making, not a media center, but running software like Pd, SuperCollider and other such. Ubuntu Studio is NOT the way to go... Patchbox OS is the leading contender
https://blokas.io/patchbox-os/

azazabacheche.bsky.social•161 days ago

just set up a new build w this to test it out and worked pretty flawlessly. doing a zynthian card now to see how my hardware (rp5 & pisound) handle the synths available🤞🏽🤞🏽

moralcode.bsky.social•165 days ago

FreeBSD's logo is (was?) Literally a devil

originz.bsky.social•165 days ago

Good point I forgot

alves.bsky.social•165 days ago

Archdaemon

dennis-moser.bsky.social•165 days ago

😅

dennis-moser.bsky.social•165 days ago

😆🤣🤪

suicutie.bsky.social•165 days ago

I love how so many responses to this are either "You should do it anyways" or "This would only happen to a Linux user."

Congratulations! You are perpetuating the cycle of annoying Linux users!

intangiblematter.net•164 days ago

I used to be the person who compulsively suggests Linux. Now I only do it when it’s either funny, or very clearly the only option to someone who’s already clearly willing to install it. Otherwise it’s just annoying.

I don’t use Arch btw

stardustsleep.bsky.social•164 days ago

"I stubbed my toe!"

"you should install linux"

seven.modr.us•164 days ago

And yet the obvious choice was FreeBSD.

sctemme.bsky.social•164 days ago

Came here to say.

upabigtree.bsky.social•165 days ago

😎

dlan22.bsky.social•165 days ago

Oh the hail satan process? That’s well-known windows bloatware.

Gotta fix your computer by installing TempleOS

iamapyriteking.bsky.social•165 days ago

How about this new distro, Pazuzu? 🤔

artemis1000.bsky.social•165 days ago

Okay, but maybe installing Linux will provide your computer demon with a suitable habitat so it won't try to bite its way out of the CPU socket anymore

saborido.bsky.social•165 days ago

Have you tried VaticanOS? It's a new linux distribution

yesthatkefke.bsky.social•165 days ago

Sounds to me like they need TempleOS.

islandboy1976.bsky.social•165 days ago

The same thing can happen in Linux if you're not using cpu and process tweaks.

bradreed1.bsky.social•165 days ago

What are "cpu and process tweaks"? I've been using linux for years and have no idea what you are talking about.

islandboy1976.bsky.social•165 days ago

I was surprised that nohang and preload weren't a part of Linux default installations. They are pretty useful.

islandboy1976.bsky.social•165 days ago

Actually I was referring to performance tweaks using utilities such as nohang, preload, ananicy-cpp. I installed Debian without all the fluff and added only what I needed but Firefox was hogging the cpu cycles and slowing things even with a few tabs open. The only other app I had running was MT4.

celendine.bsky.social•165 days ago

You should install... TempleOS?

yesthatkefke.bsky.social•165 days ago

Woo! Same braincell!

joanluc.bsky.social•164 days ago

If installing Linux does not resolve daemon problems then you should try FreeBSD https: //www.freebsd.org

ryangrange.com•165 days ago

If it's a demon possession then you've obviously already embraced using one of the BSDs. Linux distributions aren't that far off from them.

kanokdoes.art•164 days ago

Honestly, my first question would be: When was the last time you opened up the side panel of your computer and used a can of compressed air to clean it out?

Common issue for parts that are ON FIYAH!

tulamark.bsky.social•165 days ago

He is right tho

jrossnicoll.bsky.social•164 days ago

I don't see the problem?

justfuntoday.bsky.social•165 days ago

Remember to run ./exorcise -sATan after install

lost-alien.bsky.social•165 days ago

So all you need to do is uninstall chrome.

patricia3-m.bsky.social•165 days ago

Which is what they always say

originz.bsky.social•165 days ago

Linus Torvalds will smite the evil

marciesmelody.bsky.social•165 days ago

Put the CPU outside… that will help keep it cool…?

sharkcheese.bsky.social•165 days ago

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

If you install Linux, nothing will even come close to your dick

sharkcheese.bsky.social•165 days ago

Half the Linux nerds I see on the internet are furry pansexuals living in polycule fuck houses.

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

Not you though?

sharkcheese.bsky.social•165 days ago

My avatar is a blahaj

gayknaves.bsky.social•165 days ago

So just the furry part.

icyjiub.bsky.social•146 days ago

In my experience ill be complaining about a linux issue and upset about lack of funding and people will somehow interpret that as being told to install Linux.

laz000.bsky.social•165 days ago

I can't breath!!! 😆

chuntr.bsky.social•165 days ago

Literally read a post today about a PC hardware issue and some guy was like "You could try installing Linux".

I'm kind of a die hard fan of it, but read the room a little.

terath-ninir.bsky.social•165 days ago

Linux was written by demons.

paulocandido.bsky.social•165 days ago

Now you get the exorcise app in GitHub, compile from source using an ancient and very specifically buggy version of gcc, still maintained by a Mexican desert eremit. Run it on against your distro source. Then recompile the latter using the same gcc version.

maxisjoe.xyz•165 days ago

You invited the devil into your household the moment you installed Windows.

Repent, and install TempleOS.

davidgerard.co.uk•165 days ago

no that works IME

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