Even when men are in committed heterosexual relationships and are productive citizens, more often than not, it's the women in the relationships carrying most of the weight to manage the family and support their success.
If you stop showering and start acting poorly because you're single then you deserve to be alone. Also if you need "guardrails" you're not a man you're a f*cking baby.
God knows humans have no business procreating anymore . They’re regressing mentally & not capable of caring for their own planet or people . Kids will be born LGBTQ because GOD wants humans to STOP reproducing
Part of this, I believe, is because society keeps reinforcing this narrative—not just through influencers, but through respected voices across the spectrum. Some say young men are failing themselves; others say the system failed them. Both are true, but the cycle keeps feeding itself
And the blame of women is absolutely bullshit. Why would women want to engage with men who don't put in the effort, the work to know better and do better.
This. From day one women are taught to watch out for themselves. To think critially about every action. When your life is literally on the line because 50% of the population cannot be trusted, you learn to mature and evolve to situations. Men don't have that motivation.
I’ve been struggling with a writing piece for years on this topic. My dad passed from leukemia when I was five (he was only 36), and my mom’s independence and resilience, though brief, made an everlasting impact on me.
She succumbed to her grief and nearly died for the first time when I was 11. As a child, I became a mediator between adults and later a homeless, couch-hopping youth in Alaska—sleeping at school and working under the table wherever I could.
We reconnected over the years, but she died in Feb of ’22
I’ve been reflecting on how women often find this resilience on their own, without having to endure the same hardships I faced. Yet, society has leveraged its own set of challenges against women—ones rooted in systemic inequality and expectations. Womens strength is both inspiring and humbling.
We live in extreme capitalism. Education is costly, jobs demand excessive qualifications, & raising a family is unaffordable. Job security is gone, safety nets are eroding, a health crisis can lead to homelessness, homeownership is out of reach, & society equates wealth with intelligence and worth
We fixate on analyzing their psyche instead of addressing the real issue- extreme wealth gap. Our system devours everything for profit, glorifies wealth, & devalues the less fortunate. We dont question the system. instead, we ask what’s “wrong” with those struggling, as if they are the problem.
Unfortunately when they get "guy friends" they tend to be just as toxic and plummet them into further loneliness. Everyone should lower their tolerance of trash people.
May be there can be a program for adult men who have this problem. I suggest letting them sit in with kindergarteners to learn good vs. bad (we can complex topics like "grey areas" later).
Then these men will be able to pick better friends! 🫶🏻💙
It's not the same. It may be for women but men need an actual significant other. Or an abundance of casual sex coupled with solid guy friends, but that's not happening for most of these guys either. Men are just wired to spread our seed and sex validates men's status.
It is a toughie. It's a problem that will, and already has to some degree, destroy our society. History's proven that having millions of single, angry young men that aren't getting laid will absolutely wreak havoc on civilized society.
I'm worried on all of our behalf. It's a massive societal problem. My concern is the US becoming a Middle Eastern-style authoritarian theocracy. Unfortunately, tasers aren't gonna do much in that scenario.
Not to argue with you but you do have a good point. For example, one of my nephews, have friends but the wrong ones. He's a good looking guy (mid-late 30's), hard working but he's such a dumbass supporting Trump and I truly believe it's a turnoff for any intelligent young lady. He doesn't get it.
I do think he's still lonely because he sits at a local bar in Los Angeles to the point of everyone in there knows his name. His mom, my oldest sister told me so. LoL.
If he has friends but is choosing to sit at a bar instead of hanging out with his friends, he's choosing loneliness and there's nothing you can do about it.
As a Dink, it's more than just money. I just couldn't see myself forcing someone new to look at the hot mess express that has been created here. I even asked Mom to yelp review mankind and she gave it a 2...but you still invited 3 new people to a place you don't even like? Why?
Well put. Once again the reply section is full of people who have comprehension issues…he clearly states that the epidemic of loneliness affects both, but the “externalities” are worse on society for men. Ie, things we *all* have to deal with.
I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. He’s saying both suffer, but for men the externalities are damaging to society. Whereas women deal with it better/differently.
I agree that we should not be lonely people and we are here to be together. But if you need a child to fix you, you should not be having children. Or maybe you should fix you before you have a child. with the government pulling all this crap I wouldn't want to have a child.
Some men don’t take care of themselves even if they are in a relationship. Also EW!! How is this women’s fault ??? Why would we want to spend time with people who don’t have any life or hygiene outside of romantic relationships.
Awww poor man. How dare women not want to be with someone who can’t be alone and becomes a lonely bum without them. They have nothing to live for without women. 😂
You said all this but who gives a f. Treat women better maybe you’ll have one
You are noticing men because they have more power and can cause more problems. Ultimately, this is another problem with disengagement from society, not a male thing. Give females that power and you would be worrying about vigilante females. People need connection to be socially constructive.
You are 100% correct. My 30 son works himself sick, doesn’t take care of himself. My son is into conspiracy’s and his house is dirty, he blames his last girlfriend 4 yrs ago for everything. He blames me now. He never leaves his house unless he goes to work or gets food. We did love him raise good
It’s like we got sick of dealing with man baby drama and chose life with friends, dogs and plants.
Men in current format are pretty obsolete. They don’t seem interested in changing that, they’re choosing the double down direction. Stay lonely, we’re fine without you.
Bro no one cares. There is no male crisis yall are just a bunch of whiny snowflakes go get therapy stop making women do everything for you its not there job. Maybe thats the reason your fucking single. You say your a man but cant even cope with loneliness.
hello Scott Gallaway! I just heard Pivot. I'm a big fan, loyal listener. But i'm sad. Hearing you saying you agree with sendind back immigrants, without any consideration for their crual sufferings, the danger of their situation. It's like your human side, usually so strong, diseaperad, vanished?
I can't imagine why anyone would want to bring a kid into this country any more. The planet is sick and will shed us soon enough. Poor and working class kids are nothing more than worker drones waiting for AI to replace them. Making a kid seems cruel to the kid at this point.
Maybe men should spend more time and energy cultivating platonic relationships and personal fulfillment rather than relying on women to be their "guardrails" and blaming their bad behavior on being single.
What sickos are having children in this world. I love my children enough to not make them suffer and live as a slave. If I can’t fix society I’m not going to room my children to repeat history. I would love kids but not in the current world at all.
Guess it’s time for guys to become their own guardrails. It’s not our job to make sure they aren’t loney. That’s a them problem. Men need to learn to build other types of relationships and to care for themselves instead of relying on women to do all the caretaking. Not sorry.
Well this alt right masculinity stereotype isn’t going to alleviate the problem. It’ll only exacerbate it. It’s too bizarre to wrap my head around. Perhaps a result of the helicopter child raising phenom or the technology isolationism. Either way, it shouldn’t be accepted as normal.
Just think of the millions of young men in America
Who can they look up to?
Sex criminals like Trump, Gaetz, and Hegseth ?
Never mind the manosphere cesspool festering with sewer rats like Andrew Tate, Matt Walsh, Nick Fuentes, Christian nationalist trolls, & the Jan 6 cop beating traitors?
A rational human knows finding a romantic partner is not car shopping
If men are lonely, off the rails, not showering, & falling for alt-right MANOSPHERE CRAP, THEY HAVE MAJOR ISSUES & they need to step up and not whine & complain
Men live in their Penthouse fantasyland of 7th grade (sorry to 7th graders). Women are supposed to look, act, and be exactly as they're conditioned to think women should be. They are also trained to believe women are fucktoys, and "influencers" push that. #GrowUp
This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I have her had a problem with women in any capacity, romantic or not my whole life. And if you respect them and treat them like they should be, which isn’t hard, you won’t be lonely and miserable and dive in to alt right bullshit. Like this
I was single for 8 years after my divorce. I didn’t turn into an insufferable asshole who blames everything on other people. I put all my focus into making personal improvements.
Maybe these boys who project their palpable weakness onto everyone else just need to grow the fuck up.
Also, people don't feel as pressured into having kids nowadays. It was the done thing when I was younger. Married with kids by the time you're 30 or WTF are doing?!
Tag line should be "Why are women still choosing the bear?"
So, let's take the most powerful positions in the world, give them only to men, and make them work long hours so they never see their wives. What could go wrong???
Although this is one of those psychological trappings of the human condition, it doesn't change the fact that those boys can chose to stand up for women and keep showering etc and find what love really is. Finding ways to support them when this is their choice is counter productive. Calls 1/2
What I hear is men have not evolved or adapted to reality and have become so weak, women need to be in charge.
But as a woman living in this timeline, I just laugh and say tell me something I’ve known for a few decades. I don’t need to lower my standard of living for weak adults.
You sure the problems go away when they get a gf? What if they just start taking it out on them? At 20 I started dating a guy 8 years older than me who was still living at his mom's place. I helped him to get to school and to get a job, and at times paid for his living. As a thank you 1/2
he became more and more controlling. After 6 years and some pretty fucked up incidents I left him for a girl and for the first time I'm free to be me. He, however, got so mad he called my family and outed me. He felt like he was entitled to dating me even after all he had done. 2/2
Alllllll of this "crisis" of misogyny and loneliness is rooted in decreased guarantee to access to mate with females. It is so basic and primal, which makes it feel even more disgusting.
With that much of an age gap when you yourself weren’t fully mature, you weren’t responsible for his life. He was a 💩 person to begin with, and predatory. No one that old should be dating a 20 yo kid.
I married a wonderful older guy, but I was in my 30s with a job and two kids. Big difference.
100% agree. I do remember when we started dating it felt like we were on a same level but as the time passed I grew up and he still didn't. And the age cap made the situation worse because he didn't see me as an equal. Now I'm 27 and it amazes me that I am STILL younger than he was then and, yeah.
This. When in a relationship, they become a problem primarily for the woman, an easieroutlet than taking it out on society. All I hear from op is women, please don't stop being men's entire support network, keep being their punching bag, for society's sake. So they don't have to take responsibility.
There are countless stories of men in relationships who abuse their partners. Being in a romantic relationship didn’t help or stop them. They need to be their own advocate.
Jeez, guys can't shower or dress properly if there's not a woman around to make sure it happens? Sure sounds like guys are pathetic according to this guy.
For most of these men, this is a crisis of accountability. They are no longer able to just exist until a woman settles for them and takes care of them. They are expected to be equal partner. A caring partner. Have a personality and an attitude worth being around. And they're throwing tantrums.
Sounds like a problem for men to take care of - you know, with that bold, bootstrapping, can-do attitude we hear so much encouragement to have. Why does that suddenly not exist when it comes to begging women to wipe our noses for us?
@profgalloway.com could society do a better job of injecting empathy in the absence of a romantic relationship? Sometimes going off the rails feels like the only option when you feel unseen. When you’re off the rails it puts you even further from a romantic relationship. Sad reinforcing cycle.
Oh, yeah, I definitely want a relationship with someone who is immature and prone to poor hygiene, addiction, misogyny, and refusing to take accountability. Do you even hear yourself? There is nothing a "man-hating feminist" could say about men that men aren't already saying about themselves.
O, pity the poor, poor mens. This is Chernobyl-level toxic masculinity. Men don't want an equal partner in relationships: They want mommies, maids, line cooks, waitresses, brood mares, madonnas, and a socket for their peepee. Men have done this to themselves. This is their circus and their monkeys.
I’m sorry but men need to be able to find vulnerability outside of romantic relationships. Putting the weight of one’s emotional wellbeing on one other person is not healthy or fair to that other person. Build a community you can express yourselves to and banish the shame surrounding weaknesses.
Please leave women out of your solutions for men’s relationship & loneliness issues. We have no desire to be the guardrails of a society that weaponizes men’s incompetence, nor do we want to continue bearing the brunt of men’s problems. We’re fighting to have some human rights & we are exhausted
Fully understand women’s frustrations with men’s incompetence in this day and age. It shouldn’t be your burden. But if I can just shed some insight on my experience- meeting my wife was the best thing that could have happened to me in regard to unlearning my misogyny. It was through conversations
and her seeing potential in my curiosity that allowed me to now be fully informed and advocate for women’s rights. I try my best to educate the men in my life but I think it’s through actual dialogue with women that will help more guys out there like I was. I know the initial feeling is to shun.
But there has to be a way to engage. Because I can see first hand how the animosity and rejection of dialogue is just creating a much worse version of toxic men.
This worked for you probably because you aren't a maladjusted, entitled man. Forcing us to get with such types doesn't create dialogue, it creates abuse, and we have thousands of years of evidence proving such.
The better way must be men like you having the dialogue and then diffusing it to others.
60% of women killed are by their partners or male family members, compared to 12% of men. Women are literally being maimed and killed & men are complaining of loneliness. 4B just looks more & more enticing
I’m not saying it was a good thing but traditional bullshit informed a false promise that a lot of men were basically expecting. They resolved it through being cruel/ patriarchal. Once society slowly became more informed about women’s issues, that’s when “traditional values” showed up. Ex: Andy Tate
I may be wrong and in a bubble but it’s just something I noticed. Like any guy I talk to, and me on some extent basically just wants a relationship. On a deep level. They fill their loneliness by wishing they could have a partner (instead of therapy most of the time)
Now- the problem is when these assholes come and say “hey! We can solve your issue. You just have to work on yourself… no not go to therapy or talking to people you love or just listening to women, but by being a stoic! Work out, grind and also you’ll never get a girl if you’re a twink! ”
The problem is guys will sometimes just… not fully understand women. They won’t fully empathize with them- ESPECIALLY if they never really spent time and became close to them growing up.
So uhh, here’s to breaking down old shitty beliefs about women!… in this fucking climate.
Also, I just realized, it isn’t GREAT. Like men need to get their shit together, but because they’re not, and because they try suppressing their emotions which mean they become more emotional in other negative ways- AND because they take over so much shit, it means EVERYONE gets fucked.
Okay I get why some are upset about this video but I think we’re lacking nuance. All of what he said is true but what he didn’t cover is the root cause: patriarchy. I think he just meant when men suffer, society suffers. He’s not prioritizing men over women. One just has a much different cost.
It’s not incel propaganda- I’m a woman, I know how it directly impacts me. Two things can be true at once. Yes, women are absolutely neglected in these convos but only one side inflicts violence on everybody else. Capitalism and patriarchy have done a horrible fusion dance on men.
The answer isn't to force relationships through misogynist legislation, it's to raise better men so they're more mature and prepared to attract a mate.
If mothers wouldn’t let their sons play with sticks & footballs & instead gave them pink frilly aprons to cook with & baby dolls that pee & crap on them, then maybe boys would become okay men.
AI will replace climate change as a top reason the young aren’t having kids. I give it till 2027. I have three teenage kids up to speed on co-intelligence… am I wrong?
If you had a daughter, Scott, you'd probably have a fuller grasp of the subject. Men who respond to adversity in a wildly unbalanced way are dangerous to women so we naturally steer clear.
I think people are reaching the wrong conclusions from these observations. There isn’t some inherent biological need for men to be in a relationship so he doesn’t become a sociopath - these trends are the result of outdated social norms that need to and can be rewritten if we are to solve this issue
EVERYBODY needs these social “guardrails” to be normal, functioning human beings - humans never evolved to be socially isolated for such an extended period of time, and it seriously messes with your head when you’re deprived of any interaction. That’s not a trait that’s unique to men
The core of the issue is that society as a whole deprives single men in particular of these guardrails, while also creating a culture that pins men’s entire self worth on their ability to lead a successful career and find a romantic relationship.
The solution is not “get men girlfriends” nor is it “isolate men until they fix themselves”. The patriarchy wants that to be the dichotomy because it makes things worse. The solution is break down the social barriers that led here and work towards building those guardrails for single men too.
Why are people trying to bend this to try and say he's blaming women?
He's saying men are more detrimental to society when they suck or fail at romance, it's in fact more of a compliment to women by implying they're generally more emotionally sound and can handle loneliness more maturity than men.
I mean the current trend of "alpha boys" flocking to con artists that tell them to blame women instead of taking responsibility for themselves is kind of evidence of what's being said here.
Hey responsible dude here, relationships are not going to save you, if you shower and have your own guard rails then finding someone is not really that hard. A real man is wise and patient not aggressive and short sighted.
I 100% believe in your data. I would like to understand why men aren’t expected to improve their situations by evolving and becoming better men to combat these issues of loneliness, education, etc.
They're supposed to be leaders, right? How are "men" supposed to lead if they're this direction-less? And emotional. Women don't get coddled. No one is saying it's a man's fault for not dating us.
When are "men" going to take responsibility for THEIR actions?
An OUNCE of self-reflection would go hard for these men, it’s a vital missing piece. You must be capable of being happy alone before you can be happy with someone else. Kids aren’t just numbers. They need a safe and happy homes.
Men need a sense of community and to know they matter. That is not the responsibility of a relationship or women. It’s our job as a society to change our culture so everyone feels seen and heard. Let’s create a welcoming space for all, so people aren’t turning to hate groups for community.
Also this doesn’t take into account any queer identities. It just assumes everyone is straight and cis and isn’t aromantic. Do your homework before trying to be a pseudo intellectual.
I have plenty of men in my family who have wives and children who are still into conspiracy theories, hating immigrants etc. I feel like this is just blaming women for not wanting to be in romantic relationships with men for the nation’s problems and is a weak argument.
Totally! Oligarchical greed is eroding the fabric of our society. Having kids shouldn’t be a “luxury” only afforded by the wealthy! We need a wealth tax and we need to tax the churches, for starters.
I really hate it when the argument is framed this way. If men are going to be shitty without women, they’re going to be shitty with women too. If they don’t wanna be lonely, they should be the kind of person that is more worried about meeting someone else’s needs than having their own met.
*whispering* immigration is a pretty obvious way to grow a population you dumb democrats - so instead of buying in to MAGA framing; maybe fight them on principle, make the case for immigration and offer a real plan to voters…
There is a real problem and it has less to do with not having romantic prospects and more to do with everything else being very bleak. There is no longer a straightforward pipeline for any career path and regular “jobs” don’t pay enough to become independent. A symptom of that would be
If you want friends, BE a friend. Reach out. The best advice that my Dad ever gave me was to reach out & help someone else. This might put your problems in perspective.
I have 2 brothers. They both have long-time males friends. These friends check them on their bs and they all show up for each other. Are the young men that you reference capable of developing healthy relationships with their peers? Not virtual, IRL! Start there.
If the young men don't see themselves clearly and do some work on themselves, they will continue to be unattractive to women, especially as women mature. I experienced this YEARS ago. Trend is just getting worse.
If you can't grow into a whole person—capable of self-reflection, candor about your flaws, and a commitment to self-improvement—no one else can do it for you. It's not someone else's job to fix what you won't, especially not your significant other. Love yourself enough to grow before expecting love.
Mate sorry but this is such garbage, if men cant control themselves because they arnt getting what they want, thats called a tantrum, you dont appease that. Thats bad behaviour? As a man, i understand that its hard sometimes, but its hard for everyone, you dont become a "shitty citizen" out of spite
You can think it's garbage but it's true. We have a glut of "shitty citizens". Decent, moral society isn't appealing to these guys but hard right shit is, because it feeds them with dreams of money and getting laid, and no amount of "be better, guys" is gonna change that.
Oh I totally agree with you, there is a rise of this utterly nonsensical and vile behaviour and thinking. Im just at the point where im tired of hearing these absolutely rubbish excuses that people use to try to justify being horrid to other people.
The problem is that as much as that makes sense to people like us it clearly isn’t the way that a growing population of young men are viewing the world. They see it as other ppls fault for the lack of opportunities, financial mobility, etc which is true but thats the fault of billionaires, not women
Exactly, but it seems like a huge portion of these arnt capable of even thinking it could be anything else? Which blows my mind "the women hate me so its all their fault!"
Exaaaaactly, we all have horrible days and it affects everyone differently, and it can be harder for some people etc. But thats no excuse to be horrid to another person.
Right. My husband was late bloomer. He wasn’t great with women until his mid-twenties. He went to college and then law school. He got a job and contributed to society. He made meaningful friendships with men and women. He didn’t become a shitty person because he couldn’t figure out how to flirt.
My husband notes that the first time he missed a shower in a couple decades was after he got married and had a kid. He said taking care of a newborn and your wife who has a dinner plate sized wound is among the hardest things you’ll do in life if you’re doing it right.
Oh absolutely! Your husband is an excellent person! I more meant that saying "women dont want to be romantic with me" as an excuse to be a bad person or be nasty to other people is kind of a shitty excuse tbh like the video seemed to be trying to portray.
I agree with you. I’m just using my husband as an example of a man being decent and it wasn’t hard for to be just normal. They can do it. It’s not hard.
Oh 110% im in the same boat as your husband! I was bullied horrendously (attacked, hit, etc.) For almost 8+ years, and i was hopeless with women being a bit of a chubby guy, but i never once blamed or attacked women for that? I appreciate you for sharing and your hubby for helping prove its not hard
As a former "incel" back in my early twenties, the most pernicious part of it is all the parties interested in keeping you trapped in that cycle of loneliness and rage.
You're desperate, thus an easy mark for those offering "solutions" that only further isolate you and keep you dependent on them.
Maybe face the fact that men are not inherently strong nor good? That the tired definition and culture of "masculinity" is a trojan horse of mental/emotional disease?
Oh the former Dean of Students on my campus told me that she chuckles a little bit when one of her known offenders is dragged into her office by a young woman who has him by the ear. She knows he will be ok now since he is now her project. Those are the ones who get saved from themselves
I hear him saying that men fall apart without a romantic relationship (and I'm not at all sure I agree), but I never hear him claim, as other commenters do, that women are responsible for that problem—or for fixing it.
He says "guys need the guardrails of a romantic relationship." I hear that (w/o knowing how he intends it) as a sign of men's dependency & weakness, not as an insistence on women's volunteering to serve as guardrails against their own interests and desires.
Definitely a sign of men's weakness. Since approximately 90% of men identify as straight, the "guardrails" of a romantic relationship that men need are, in most cases, dependent on a woman taking that place, and if a woman is not taking that place voluntarily, that's called rape.
This is a dogshit take. Women don't want to be tethered by children to men who expect to be babied. We all have to be educated and employed but only women are expected to know how to run a household and raise children. Men are lonely because they're terrible, bigoted, and friendless.
So they need guidance to grow the fuck up. Maybe you know- it-all male elders should step up and be role models instead of letting fathead podcasters fill their heads with shit.
I stayed single until 40. My choice. Never once stopped showering, blaming immigrants or embracing dumbass conspiracy theories. The bottom line is young single men just need to grow the fuck up and embrace adulthood, regardless of relationship status.
Ridiculous to say that men are somehow more affected by loneliness than women. As if women aren’t also real people who experience the frustration and unhappiness that comes with loneliness in the exact same way as men. But society doesn’t allow us to act like big, entitled babies about it.
It’s worsening economic conditions causing loneliness. 60% of the country lives paycheck to paycheck. Idk how you want to “solve loneliness” but there are many ways to improve economic conditions and create more community spaces at the same time.
I don't think he is casting any blame on the cause. He is merely stating that lonely men often become dangerous and develop worse qualities. To me, the cause is that men and woman don't interact often enough anymore. They are in echo chambers online, and not meeting in person.
I would argue the echo chambers for many men make them feel even more insecure. They think woman want performative masculinity and they are not confident enough to even try. Furthermore, the performative qualities they are learning are probably the very thing that turns quality women off from them.
I agree. I think it all boils down to no community and more internet ->less human interaction.-> more romantic and platonic loneliness-> unending issues with people today
Perhaps let's take it a step at a time. If lonely men become more dangerous, then the root of that problem needs to be addressed before the interaction. Jumping past that creates bad relationships and perpetuates animosity. Working on one's emotional intelligence is paramount.
So women should "take one for the team?" Men need to be ethical and mature. No wonder more and more women are unwilling to take them on as partners. So, yes economics are only a part of all this.
Definitely not. It's an analysis using another gender to highlight the difference and deficiency in men. Its our problem. Women have enough problems already.
Maybe giving young men good role models who aren't saturated with Toxic Masculinity and teach them to have compassion for their fellow humans? Might that not have some bearing on it? It shouldn't be a woman's job to train her man to be a 'good' man and hope it takes...
Why is a romantic relationship the only cure for loneliness? Make some friends, guys (with other men AND women). Learn to be a good friend and develop meaningful connections. It is not a romantic partner's role to be the everything for their partner.
Seriously. No one is out here appointing friends to people. It's not like women automatically get a friend just bc they have a vagina. Men should reach out to each other & build a rapport. Join a fraternity/lodge/club. There are a lot of men with healthy long-term friendships, it's not impossible.
Had this conversation with my son. I saw you on 11th Hour with Stephanie Ruhle, and found some of your videos. My son's a good, caring, really funny young man with a fantastic job, but he's tired of being rejected right out of the gate, and given up on dating. Your videos resonated with him.
As a guy who went through exactly the same phase in my life, I can tell you, that is normal. His experience is not unusual. Not every guy is Lothario. Maybe 1% are (if that)!
Given everything you said, he will be fine. He just needs to keep going and not become a women hater.
I hope so. He really wants to be able to start a family, and he was talking about how lonely he is. I keep telling him to stay the course, and there will someday be someone who thinks what he has to offer is a match.
I can't believe he doesn't think chatting with mom is enough! 🤣
He has so many other things going his way. It will happen.
If he can, I would suggest that he travel and meet people that way. He needs to keep engaging with others. When I was younger, somebody told me, 'You can't have everything in life - at least not at the same time.' That was all I needed 😀
Agreed. I have mentioned travel to him. He has done some before, but I tell him it doesn't need to be big. He has friends in Toronto, and I've been urging to go visit them just to get a new perspective. I just want him to step into a different headspace.
Maybe you can teach them to have agency about becoming a person a romantic partner would want to be with instead of turning to nihilism and violence the second they can’t claim ownership of the woman they felt they were entitled to from being born a man
I'm not sure what your point has to do with kids, though. The choice to not have kids is far more nuanced then money - there's many, many factors contributing to it - and that's not a cause or the cause of lack of romantic relationship.
So at what point is the problem just a monster eating its own tail? Guys who can't get a girl become a dick, and guys who become a dick are repellent to women. If they are a teenager and can't find a girl they will be sad but when they redpill online they are fucked
The problem is, women have to work and are primary caregivers for house and kids. It’s no wonder they are rejecting men, it’s just one more chore to add on to the list. Most of my single friends are far happier, have more freedom and more money without a male partner.
We rejected these men because of their behavior and now that everyone can see why we reject them the only answer they have is for women to just take it.
I think he's just observing that men tend to be destructive to the common good when they're not meeting their own emotional needs. He's saying that men are failing *themselves*.
But I dunno. This kind of short, edited clip can really distort our understanding of what someone's actually saying.
Oh yeah, with the-world's-worst-role model-for-a-male now as president, bullying, and throwing toddler-tantrums, there is a lot to be mad about. People should see Galloway's full length pieces to get his perspective.
My daughter, who has an MBA from Oxford and is about to get married, doesn’t want to have kids in this country anytime soon because she could FUCKING BLEED OUT IN A PARKING LOT. Any discussion of this matter without mentioning this burden on women is unserious.
Not to mention. The prospects for a child in the USA, particularly if that child is female. Things have been progressively tumultuous in this country. Why have a child if you are not confident they have a shot at a good future?
And the continual uncertainty of where the country is heading. I have friends and family that had babies during and at the end of Covid and it really gave me pause trying to understand the logic.
Same. I don’t blame young people who do, it’s the ultimate act of hope. But, you really have to be in a bit of denial about reality, or ignorant of history.
Yeah well if young men weren’t such shitholes who voted for Trump, their prospects might be higher. Men’s bad behavior is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. Women found out romantic relationships don’t offer the ROI psychologically to be worthwhile. So maybe men should try to attain some emotional maturity
This is the same argument that incels make, only presented more rationally as an "academic" point. For those in the back: Women are *not* responsible for the bad behavior of men!
I take it to be the dark side of unequal power balance. Granted that its unfair, but it means that men cause more problems for society when they are disenfranchised. There are two problems here.
I didn’t take this to mean it’s the fault of women. I heard it as, for some reason (immaturity, lack of discipline, societal influence), men not in relationships go sideways, which self-reinforces since the result is a man who is even less appealing, and the fallout on the rest of us is extensive.
With my kindest intentions I say let’s expand the possibilities first in conversations then in actions. Therapist are not where you dump the problem child.
Oh no I’m sorry not at all my intention. I think I just so want there to be a larger discussion that therapy is great and let’s dream that bigger solution too because we need all the cool wild funky input now!
Women are flat out exhausted and done with being the “guardrails” for me. We simply will not be responsible for them any longer, not when the reward is misogyny, abuse, rape, & murder. They want bang-maids. We want partners. Fix yourselves.
I heard “men need the guardrails of a relationship”, not an appeal to women to be guardrails. The depression and suicide epidemic among young males is real. Telling a disturbed person to “fix yourself” isn’t helpful. But promoting healthy societal institutions could be.
Men need the guardrails of healthy, deep, connecting relationships w other men. Wmn have been helping men & leading the way trying to get them to be healthier. It has been wmn stepping up. Men don’t listen to women which is a huge problem. So, help each other. Find a mentor. Men have to do the work.
I believe the message he's attempting to convey is that we, both men and women, should work together to create a better society. It's healthier for a society as a whole if we're all in a good place financially and emotionally when we can have relationships and make babies.
I understood his message and didn’t need it explained. My reply still stands. Women are tired of being the ones to make the effort. If men don’t want to be lonely, they need to step up and stop waiting for women to fix it for them. They are adults.
So I understand your stance. You'd like men to suck it up and deal with our own problems? You'd like us to stop being lonely and problematic....by ourselves? Because you(women) have your own problems? Does that not sound cold and adversarial?
Cold and adversarial? Excuse me, women are being abused and murdered by men. Women are exhausted being held responsible for men’s problems. Fix your own problems pls. We want to be left alone.
It's possible to both be empathetic to the struggles of women - reproductive rights, equal pay, and general understanding of their experience AND acknowledge men struggle with loneliness, mental health, and externalizing their problems. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
Your problems are YOURS. Not a woman's to fix. Your behavior is yours, not a reflection of women. This kind of thinking is the problem. No woman is going to rescue you so she can make you a sandwich. Sack up.
You clearly do not have any understanding of the views of women. That is due to your decision not to understand bec women have been speaking about this for a while. If you want to truly understand why women are fed up, I highly recommend educating yourself on it. Hint: Prof G is not where I’d start.
I think the problem here is that some people are viewing women or a role women provide as the solution to men’s loneliness. And therefore a solution to the societal problems men may cause when lonly.
Woman=tool
Maybe instead of woman=tool, we should think of therapy=tool. Self-soothing techniques.
There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
Feelings come from thoughts.
Thoughts are internal.
And maybe lonely men should self-reflect instead of depend on women to cure their loneliness.
🧐
Dealing with your own problems isn't "sucking it up". It's taking responsibility for yourself and growing as an individual. If you don't want to put in the work, it's not our problem. Stop whining and evolve or be an Incel...
No, and your mansplaining makes it worse. Women want men to grow tf up and stop wanting women to be their maid, mother, and fuck toy while having no accountability. Why is it men can't be alone but women it's fine? Think hard on that. And if its cold it's becase femicide is still a real thing.
Nope. Not cold or adversarial. What do you think women do? You think we look to a man to solve our problems for us? Nope. We FITFO for ourselves. We get a dog (or cat). And maybe some gummies. And a hobby. And a therapist.
I’m a woman who thinks that men getting radicalized is something we need to take seriously. I also seriously doubt that these men will listen to anything women have to say. Just look at the MeToo backlash and young men’s lurch to the right.
We need more well-adjusted dudes to step up and help.
Or we could teach our children not to see everything as a compilation. Nobody is "owed" a relationship. we don't need more kids. We need logic & reason.
What i heard was "men are less equipped to handle the burden of loneliness than women". Biologically, we break down faster and turn into shitty people. Of course, there are exceptions, but this applies to ALL the others, which is a lot. I see it all the time. We all see it on social media.
Women aren't supposed to step up and cover our slack. This also doesn't mean there should be forced relationships or ANY onus on women to correct this. It's our problem to fix. What we need is better education to equip young boys and men with emotional skills to be stronger adults.
Education? Maybe, but most of the social emotional learning comes from home. Dads need to educate themselves on how to model for their sons the type of emotional vulnerability and regulation that they may never have had when they were kids. It's dad's that need to educate & model & teach sons
That sounds like a recipe for failure. How will this be enforced? What quality assurances are in place? How can someone who doesn't know something teach someone else about what they don't know? That's a lazy response.
This is literally what moms have done since the dawn of time. Schools are teaching some now. Do you even have kids? You go to therapy to deal with your own shit, read a book or find a podcast (like momsdo) and then practice being a good support for your son. Youthink moms learn this in school?
"Dad's should this. Mom's should that". The "should" argument is pointless and I won't engage in it. The use of the word "should" is useless unless you're willing to state who is forcing it. Because there is no should without enforcement. It's wishful thinking and leads nowhere.
We have been trying to teach men how to do this and what steps they *could* take to make change but it's all met with this same kind of resistance you are putting up here with me. Its fcking HARD to parent well and you fck up a LOT. And that (&therapy/ed) is how you learn to do better.
We are not commodities to obtain. Do better as a person. Then maybe you will have a chance. You’re the partner not a child. That’s the 1950’s mentality Vance and the GOP want to take us back to. No!!!
I don't think Scott is making excuses for the men he's talking about or saying that "men need a woman to take care of them." It seems more like he's calling it out as an issue that society as a whole needs to address when it comes to how we're raising young men and preparing them for the world.
Seriously, though. These folks in the comments need to "Read past the headline" and look more at his other content. The words/point you're putting in his mouth are not the ideals that he represents.
The message he's pushing is 100% clear. He's trying to push all the blame from failing at being a decent, well-adjusted person onto another. All this is bullshit incel insanity propaganda pushed through the filter of politeness and academia. A true man would take responsibility in getting therapy
"All this is bullshit incel insanity propaganda..."
He's made posts calling out the podcasts that swayed the young male voters and opposing a lot of what's being done by GOP.
Your assumptions from this short clip would not align with him doing that.
Appreciate the hostility, though 👍
I listened to the whole thing.....Yes, it sounds like boo hooing...make some friends and get your head together. Women aren't here to soothe your ego and attend to your needs....(addressed to the original poster)
Maybe he shouldn’t suggest we have babies as a way to uplift men. No fucking thank you. We all know how that turns out. Fix yourselves. We know what consequences are. Now men need to.
Your focus on men in the equation is weirdly parallel to the INCEL ideology. Even if your thoughts have merit, that focus on improving the situation of the most privileged population is in line with the people doing the oppressing.
It’s one of the areas where men struggle way more than women. Men face a lot more pressure than women to be conventionally good looking, tall, fit, outgoing, confident, and financially stable in order to have dating opportunities and form relationships.
Listening skills can be beneficial.
He wasn't suggesting what you stated.
The issue are men giving up on evolving into gentlemen. Nothing was stated about negatively towards women.
Whether it was his intent or not - framing it as "without the prospect of romantic relationships" puts an onus on women for refusing to be in those relationships. That language implies women are taking something from men as opposed to them losing it from poor social/emotional skills. Words matter.
You listen to words but not what he was actually saying. Title is about not having kids. Dude talked about men being lonely being the issue. Has absolutely no to do with being a gentleman. Since when is not showering not being a gentleman being lonely etc
Comments
And indeed, loneliness is destructing.
Whatever God is surely knows what’s up.
Forcing Bible on children will do NOTHING
We reconnected over the years, but she died in Feb of ’22
Won't that solve their loneliness 'epidemic'?
May be there can be a program for adult men who have this problem. I suggest letting them sit in with kindergarteners to learn good vs. bad (we can complex topics like "grey areas" later).
Then these men will be able to pick better friends! 🫶🏻💙
But I hear Elon is closing in on the robot girlfriend thing. That might help with the "casual sex" part.
About the "sex validating men's status" thing, may they could care about an actual worthy cause?
Finally, for the need to "spread the seed", pick up farming?
We also have millions of fed-up young women with purple and pink tasers.
At least that man's "loneliness" won't be the fault of a random, unrelated woman going about her life.
imho, even hormonal teens know how to pick their friends. At this point, you just have to let him be his 35yo self, I guess.
May be, you can introduce some better guys as his friends first? And they can slowly (incept) undo the brainwashing he's under?
I don't know if it'll work, but may be?
Disclaimer: I'm bad at giving advice. So, I'll put a "sorry" in the bank, just in case.
Maybe their parents need to raise their sons that the world doesn't revolve around them if they want grandchildren...
You said all this but who gives a f. Treat women better maybe you’ll have one
Men in current format are pretty obsolete. They don’t seem interested in changing that, they’re choosing the double down direction. Stay lonely, we’re fine without you.
when men do, people are quick to find them excuses
maybe in the long run men would keep themselves more in check if they had to deal with more accountability since childhood, like women do
Who can they look up to?
Sex criminals like Trump, Gaetz, and Hegseth ?
Never mind the manosphere cesspool festering with sewer rats like Andrew Tate, Matt Walsh, Nick Fuentes, Christian nationalist trolls, & the Jan 6 cop beating traitors?
If men are lonely, off the rails, not showering, & falling for alt-right MANOSPHERE CRAP, THEY HAVE MAJOR ISSUES & they need to step up and not whine & complain
Stop with the blame game.
WOMEN ARE NOT THE PROBLEM
the agents of bigotry, chaos, vitriol, and prejudice FLOOD THE ZONE with filth and shite every second on Fbook, xShitter, and 8chan.
it's easier for some to believe the #MAGA cult manosphere lies than to pull out of deception
Women are only there to please and be servile appliances
Maybe these boys who project their palpable weakness onto everyone else just need to grow the fuck up.
So, let's take the most powerful positions in the world, give them only to men, and make them work long hours so they never see their wives. What could go wrong???
But as a woman living in this timeline, I just laugh and say tell me something I’ve known for a few decades. I don’t need to lower my standard of living for weak adults.
Nailed it!
I married a wonderful older guy, but I was in my 30s with a job and two kids. Big difference.
The better way must be men like you having the dialogue and then diffusing it to others.
So uhh, here’s to breaking down old shitty beliefs about women!… in this fucking climate.
Good luck dude..
In other words, they need to grow up.
I haven't been in a romantic relationship for over a decade.
Still very much on-the-rails, not depressed, very successful, and socially active.
Men are responsible for *themselves.*
Grow up, take accountability for your actions and thoughts, be a truly good person and not just a *nice guy.*
Own. Your. Shit.
See? It’s all the fault of women! 😂
He's saying men are more detrimental to society when they suck or fail at romance, it's in fact more of a compliment to women by implying they're generally more emotionally sound and can handle loneliness more maturity than men.
They're supposed to be leaders, right? How are "men" supposed to lead if they're this direction-less? And emotional. Women don't get coddled. No one is saying it's a man's fault for not dating us.
When are "men" going to take responsibility for THEIR actions?
What is the solution!?!
We gotta stop blaming everyone else for our problems.
We have agency. We are not helpless victims of circumstance, and even those who legitimately are don't gain anything by blaming external factors.
Take responsibility. Take action. Be better.
You're desperate, thus an easy mark for those offering "solutions" that only further isolate you and keep you dependent on them.
Women are people
Relationships are not opportunities for you to experience a service.
You seem to think of women from the context of the job they perform for you and the transaction you want.
And if a man needs that many guardrails to not destroy society, maybe our western nuclear family concept is flawed and we’re raising our boys wrong.
Who are the people raising these kids? What kind of society produces those kids and narcistic douchebags that dominate our world?
Not sure if the theory holds water here!
Given everything you said, he will be fine. He just needs to keep going and not become a women hater.
I can't believe he doesn't think chatting with mom is enough! 🤣
If he can, I would suggest that he travel and meet people that way. He needs to keep engaging with others. When I was younger, somebody told me, 'You can't have everything in life - at least not at the same time.' That was all I needed 😀
Thanks for listening.
But I dunno. This kind of short, edited clip can really distort our understanding of what someone's actually saying.
I don't know the guy. Seems like he's making a fairly lucid observation about men fucking up the world, but whatever.
Lots to be mad at today, I guess.
Men: Waaaaaah! Stop making us lonely! We need you to take care of us.
Men are constantly trying to subjugate women and you don't respect us enough to even listen. Evidence: society.
We have already lead you to the water, but we cannot make you drink it.
For a group that loves listening to and following the bros who represent today’s epitome of masculinity, this should be an easy task.
Woman=tool
Maybe instead of woman=tool, we should think of therapy=tool. Self-soothing techniques.
There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
Feelings come from thoughts.
Thoughts are internal.
And maybe lonely men should self-reflect instead of depend on women to cure their loneliness.
🧐
We need more well-adjusted dudes to step up and help.
It’s saying life has become systematically more difficult for everyone. We all have less than our parents did.
Men don’t have the strong social networks women do, so we’re being hit harder.
He's made posts calling out the podcasts that swayed the young male voters and opposing a lot of what's being done by GOP.
Your assumptions from this short clip would not align with him doing that.
Appreciate the hostility, though 👍
He wasn't suggesting what you stated.
The issue are men giving up on evolving into gentlemen. Nothing was stated about negatively towards women.
Autofill strikes again.