It’s my final week as (temporary) Dear Prudie at SLATE, and now that I’ve completed that side quest, I think more of you probably need to get divorced.
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
I always am amazed at what people put up with and how willing they are to live a miserable life.
I mean, my husband isn’t perfect, but after almost 30 years together I can truly say he improves my life and is my person. If you can’t say that, GTFO.
FWIW, you've been absolutely crushing it. I love the (sometimes) less directive style where you lay out the possibilities and ask the writer to reflect on which option feels truest or like the thing they'd best be able to live with.
This is hilarious. I’ve been married for more than 20 years, so I understand the value of sticking it out. But at least half the time when I read advice columns, I think “they should just get divorced.” Cut your losses, people.
So many advice seekers end with a variation of “how do I tell them to…” and it just shouldn’t be this hard to ask them to stop making you miserable. Sure, you might need to remind them sometimes, lol. But there isn’t some magical way to phrase “stop it” that will work on people who don’t care.
I feel like tiktok shows me every day that more people need to get divorced… some of the shit people are putting up with is confounding & heartbreaking
You did a great job filling in for Jenée! I'm like a month behind but I just read your response to the woman who feels like the grim reaper is coming for her, and it made me cry. Thank you so much.
My best relationship is now. We do t live together. Idk if I ever want to live with another man 😂 like ever. It works for us and is pretty defining in keeping the peace in my personal space
I remember when I told the man I thought I would marry that we were clearly happier when we lived apart: "We could get a duplex where I live upstairs and don't have to hear your thunderous steps that scare me!' "No!! We either live together or we're done!!"
We're both only children who need alone time....he just didn't think I should be allowed, and he "didn't need it from me" 😵💫 I realized he had no intention of allowing me to be happy, so it ended.
"Hi, I (21f) and my bf (46m) have been dating for four years. He lost his job almost four years ago and I don't think he's looking for a new one. We have two kids that he won't watch. I have three jobs. How do I get him to marry me?"
I always cringe when I see the phrase "marriage is hard" because . . . it shouldn't be that hard. Please look up 'sunk cost fallacy' and get on with your life.
Yes existing with others is hard. Partnership, roommates, parenting, caregiving, etc. But “marriage is hard” has an undertone of “just do it anyway.” Nah.
And look, I’m only six years into this marriage thing, so I’m no expert, but if you’re going to get married, DON’T MARRY SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOUR LIFE WORSE. I don’t know if y’all aren’t getting this advice from anyone else, but take it from me. Don’t partner with a problem.
I'm not sure Reddit is an accurate representation of relationships in the world, but every time I'm on it (AIO, AITH, etc.) I'm convinced at least fifty percent of relationships are terrible. Women, especially, are dating or married to some real stinkers. What is happening out there?!
In my experience, there are many people of all genders who seem to think that they can't live alone and so they never even try and stay in terrible, imho, relationships.
It took some time, after 20 years of relationship, but now my ex-girlfriend and I are very happy alone people.
Just had this conversation with my daughter. "Do you feel like you're the best version of yourself with this person?" I was a worse version of myself too often.
Comments
Me: but is it enough?
I mean, my husband isn’t perfect, but after almost 30 years together I can truly say he improves my life and is my person. If you can’t say that, GTFO.
She has to make her own choices
Ok 🤷🏼♀️
I do hate that phrase too
It took some time, after 20 years of relationship, but now my ex-girlfriend and I are very happy alone people.
I'm a huge fan.
It was an argument over a cat.
I might be unwell but I'm fun at parties... if I were to ever get invited to a party.