How old are you in penis years - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

mementomorty.bsky.social • 6 days ago

How old are you in penis years

Reposted from poop

The Dunning-Kruger effect, but for sex

Comments

everyone knows you can’t truly know your penis age without cutting it open and counting the rings, so brave of Bryan to go to such lengths for science

sempersincerus.bsky.social•6 days ago

I think I'm around 7 in Weiner-Dog years.
Does that count?

sandsthrutime.bsky.social•6 days ago

So Bryan Johnson knows how old his Johnson is?

bassoonysu.bsky.social•5 days ago

As a lesbian, this question does not compute.

wolflawyer.bsky.social•6 days ago

If someone ever writes an article about my penis I hope they don't use the photo of me holding up some 3/4" long cylinder thing to go with it.

Is that it? Is that the penis?

mementomorty.bsky.social•6 days ago

I literally snorted.

orrivo.com•5 days ago

Why does he know the age of my penis?

crankypacifist.bsky.social•6 days ago

Somewhere around six hundred

sophiethebear.bsky.social•6 days ago

Everyone says they’re at least 8, when really they’re 3 1/2

jlavery522.bsky.social•6 days ago

lizllarkin.bsky.social•6 days ago

Ok but what is he doing knowing the age of MY penis?

skullsneuro.bsky.social•6 days ago

I’m too afraid to count the rings.

oyleather.bsky.social•6 days ago

I think if you don't know how many without looking, you're in a bit of trouble!
Do we need to worry about you? ;-)

lornetoledo.bsky.social•6 days ago

That, sir, is a good-ass joke.

skullsneuro.bsky.social•6 days ago

Yah but it was a better dick joke

deimachy.bsky.social•6 days ago

I think it started the same time everything else did so 34?

redredryder.bsky.social•5 days ago

The 22 year old is looking for it and would like it back.

https://youtu.be/NQBPgJQhQHc?si=1FqmyKtZZBA1cmOJ

kirkinslo.bsky.social•6 days ago

So much focus on penis age, and not enough focus on penis wisdom.

jewkrainian.bsky.social•6 days ago

I think 32?

marshapiercephd.bsky.social•6 days ago

I muted everything with his name and this still evades my mute. 🤦‍♀️ Dude is a creepy freak. If he was poor we’d never have to hear about or see his idiocracy.

bmceuen.bsky.social•6 days ago

I have never seen someone so obsessed with their own penis as him and that is really saying something

malzliebchen.bsky.social•6 days ago

Is that a 7:1 or...?

mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social•6 days ago

As I understand it circumcised men often use lotion to masturbate, so I’m guessing most Americans have really young dicks.

annaliisavilppu.bsky.social•6 days ago

This headline is now stuck in my brain. No thanks!

annaliisavilppu.bsky.social•6 days ago

My 16 YO son says, “Well that makes sense,” and when I read him the lead, he says, “Oh, I know that guy. The fucking psycho who looks like a vampire?”

hawaiianimages.bsky.social•6 days ago

I can't help but think of him keeping an actual penis of a 22 year old in a jar on a shelf somewhere. "See, I have the penis of a 22 year old!"
(seriously tho, wtf does that even mean?)

shinkeith.bsky.social•6 days ago

It's not the years it's the mileage

juliafnp.bsky.social•6 days ago

Negative 50

ratshag.bsky.social•6 days ago

Can't not think of Baby Herman's line from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?:

"The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky."

thesane.bsky.social•6 days ago

Someone told him, ‘how much of a dick are you’ and he took it super literally.

zingherpolisci.bsky.social•6 days ago

The Penis Age Understander

thelippyfish.bsky.social•5 days ago

My penis is part of the void.

buckrawheat.bsky.social•6 days ago

Every part of me is older from cringe after seeing him try to hawk health products on YouTube ads

https://bsky.app/profile/buckrawheat.bsky.social/post/3lhjwkmo3vs2p

luckymud.bsky.social•6 days ago

TIL that the way this guy talks and moves is super upsetting

buckrawheat.bsky.social•6 days ago

Deep in the uncanny valley

rexlibris.bsky.social•6 days ago

Curiously enough, this is one detail where Bryan actually inflates the number.

Also, his surname Johnson seems to be particularly apt here.

ogskydog.com•5 days ago

it's rude to ask a penis it's age

jimgoodale.bsky.social•6 days ago

Did he cut it off and count the rings?

wolflawyer.bsky.social•6 days ago

Yes, he's holding it up in the picture.

c-munki.bsky.social•5 days ago

Who's collecting the core samples?

bassoonysu.bsky.social•5 days ago

Lorena Bobbitt does not get enough credit from the scientific community for her contributions in this area.

calebsocialmedia.bsky.social•6 days ago

Born on a leap year date :/

einst1.bsky.social•6 days ago

A most ingenious paradox!

sekou.bsky.social•6 days ago

🤷🏼‍♂️

ywfyf.com•5 days ago

I checked to see if three other people made a joke about counting rings before replying with a joke about counting rings.
I'm growing.

johnnyrobot.bsky.social•6 days ago

Normal things, mine is twice my age.

beneathhergaze.bsky.social•6 days ago

My penis is "starting to get increasingly aggressive advertisements suggesting the use of retinol and Botox" years old

raallen86.bsky.social•6 days ago

I don’t know, but probably around eighty?

I can barely get up in the morning, too.

jiminyspigot.bsky.social•6 days ago

So how hard do you think it would be to start a widespread disinformation campaign to convince him that smashing your dick in a waffle iron will make it younger?

bassoonysu.bsky.social•5 days ago

"All the kids are doing it, Bryan."

tiger0018.bsky.social•5 days ago

uuuuuuuuuugh.
I wouldn't fk him with someone else's c*nt.

hoodooharry.bsky.social•6 days ago

That poor 22 year old. Probably woke up with a bad hangover. And his penis was missing again. I bet it happens all the time. It's detachable.

panicboy.bsky.social•5 days ago

He should check St. Mark’s.

hoodooharry.bsky.social•5 days ago

Probably laying next to a broken toaster oven.

vivicorpceo.bsky.social•5 days ago

I checked the chart and it says "beyond the veil of time itself" is... Is that good?

yellow-pages.bsky.social•5 days ago

Those resources could’ve been used for literally anything else but we now get to know penis age. Great. Amazing. I love it here

trueref.bsky.social•6 days ago

Eternal and terrifying.

birdjay.bsky.social•6 days ago

jesus christ can this man go away forever, please

mementomorty.bsky.social•6 days ago

dude is gonna spend all this money and time on living forever and then go outside and get hit by a bus while crossing the street

raallen86.bsky.social•6 days ago

The bus:

birdjay.bsky.social•6 days ago

mementomorty.bsky.social•6 days ago

Every time I witness a new horror it somehow includes this weirdo billionaire

skullsneuro.bsky.social•6 days ago

The headline doesn’t specify where he keeps it and that feels like an important detail.

prodigalhoosier.medsky.social•5 days ago

firahc.bsky.social•6 days ago

After nine years in development, hopefully, my PAINIS will have been worth the AINIS

mrsmercurial.whisper.ninja•6 days ago

Can we make it a thing where once you hit billionaire status, we distribute all of your assets equally to all homeless people within a 100 mile radius of you and you get dropped off in the middle of nowhere to get perspective on what it means to succeed?

vitaminpac1.bsky.social•6 days ago

RIP Freud you woulda loved this guy

mayawest.online•6 days ago

69.

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