it's sad that there's so many people out there who just genuinely do not like their spouse bc every day i love my husband more than the day before and then the next day i love him even more than that
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I consider more of a steady upward progression with the usual peaks and valleys. Like, I definitely love him more than I did 15 years ago, but last week he was a pretty huge pain in the ass.
What I find interesting is that a lot of boomer guys should know it’s wrong because they know they wouldn’t be happy if their daughters were treated the way they treat their wives. Zero introspection about what they’re doing and why.
Too many boomers married because they were "expected" to do so, and because women didn't have as many options to support themselves. So you ended up with a lot of relationships built on convenience rather than any compatibility. Hence the high divorce rates for that generation.
Because their wives are forever begging them to do the bare minimum and they don't know how to do that. Sets up a fun little pattern of nagging on one side and resentment on both sides. That generation was damaged by institutional misogyny so much.
My favorite part of the day is waking up and seeing my wife next to me and knowing it's not a dream and I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Having someone to just scratch your back in the morning/evening is the most underrated thing in the world.
We’ve been married 27 yrs, together for 30☺️some days I’m an arse and somedays she’s salty. You just realize that some days it ain’t worth it to bitch about something silly and move on, go for a run, read a book 📚
it's funny to think the arc of my relationship with mine. i started off just getting with him for a place to live. took a while to warm up to him. now i am fond of him. ain't life weird
I think of my wife as my best friend. We've had maybe one real fight; my stance is if she's mad or disagrees with something it's for a good reason so I should mull that over first.
Probably spend more time giggling & chasing each other around the room Yosemite Sam & Granny Emma style than arguing.
This is so real!!! She’s my bestie and she’s so funny and cute and smart and makes me want to be better than I am every day. I can’t imagine not feeling that way about my wife!!!
I was once at a family reunion, sitting on my husband's lap (lack of chairs), and one of my sisters-in-law said, "It must be nice to like your husband."
We are coming up on 23 years and I’m pretty sure I’m the luckiest person on earth? It’s the right person if you make it through nightmare stuff and come out smiling even more.
She’s nearly 6. She is missing half her heart, but they rerouted some things and stitched a conduit on the side. Lifelong stuff, probably transplant one day, but she’s good right now. 🙂 And has the best daddy.
super huge agree. I think and speak so highly of my partner because he fuckin rules and that's why I'm with him. I interact with married people semi regularly that just despise each other and it's like...??? why what are you doing your life is short
27 years married, 31 years together. We can communicate entirely with in-jokes, and she makes me laugh like no-one else can. I know it's not for everyone, but it sure works for us.
I've never understood all the "i hate my wife" jokes, do these people know divorce is a thing? Either they don't or have been brainwashed into thinking being miserable in a relationship is better than being alone?
Worse of all is that you don't really *need* to suffer being alone. You can learn to be okay with it, there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. It took me a while, but now I really enjoy alone time. Plus there's always friends if you really need the company.
and thats true love dear friend :) Only when we struggle to discover ways to understand each other, accept our differences and, thus, live together in harmony and respect do we find proof of love...
Very often my husband and I put on our pajamas and get into this gigantic beanbag he bought for me and watch a movie together and it’s literally having the world’s most fun slumber party with my best friend all the time
Not everyone could decide to marry the love of their life. I know a lot of 1950 girls who took the best they could get, to get out of their families of origin. It was expected. One had: nun or marriage to decide at 16! Marriage was not about love but teamwork. Oecosoc. good working machine.
some of the best days i have ever had are when we blew off the function/holiday and just hung out on the couch together. their body heat is an anxiolytic. it's great, would recommend.
Marriages fall apart more often than not, these days. You have happiness, which is cool, but sometimes there are divides, hidden behind closed doors no one sees, and even when you hear why you are in shock that it happened with, "But they were so happy together." Check your couple's wellness, often.
Same here. I love my wife more today than I did yesterday. Love her more this year than I did last year. Just keep falling in more and more in love with her every day. No ceilings on love
Going on 20 years with my partner and I’m still excited to see him at the end of the day. The pervasive belief that it’s normal for couples to get sick of each other after a while makes me very sad.-
When people talk about the secrets to a successful marriage, rarely do people mention "try to marry someone you really really like all the fucking time" but turns out its the secret sauce
My wife's pretty much the only good decisions I've ever made in life. I used up all my luck there. And... I'm okay with that. :) She's the absolute best.
Sometimes people ask me what my secret is (nearly 18 years very happily married), and I’m honestly stumped: “uhhh marry your best friend, I guess? helps if she’s gorgeous and puts up only with the minimum required amount of nonsense?”. I want to do our wedding again for a Significant Anniversary!
Right? Every day I'm delighted to spend time with @bigwheel.bsky.social and I'm flabbergasted at people who don't feel that way about people they chose to spend their lives with. We have a great time every day.
Sometimes my partners drive me nuts and sometimes I need alone time, but I regularly look at both of them and think "how is this person SO AMAZING" so I think I'm still doing well
i myself am currently single as a pringle but i think a LOT about attending the wedding of a good friend and her newly minted husband looked like he was so in shock that he got to marry her. he wandered around smitten, like cupid had bonked him personally. why would you want otherwise!
when my spouse was alive we made it known everyday we were actively choosing each other & loving each other more each day. i really miss that & am happy for you that it’s something you & mr. cait have. 🫶
Knowing the person you are he must have been an absolutely wonderful person, I hate that your time was cut short but so glad you had him, you're a really wonderful woman
I blame sitcoms, and I'm not even half joking about that.
(Aside: I'm absolutely not the kind of annoying polyamorous person who thinks everyone should be nonmonogamous, but one thing I'll say for CNM is you 100% know people are spending time with you on purpose & because they want to.)
I just can't understand the whole thing about how your spouse is annoying and the hating and oh my gawd the old ball and chain. My wife and I have been together for 21 years. We don't argue, we don't fight, we meet challenges together, and we're just 100% stupid in love with each other.
My spouse and I are always so disheartened when we see couples in our lives that don’t act like they enjoy each others company. Couldn’t imagine living that way.
28 years married next month. We’ve done a couple of laps of “to hell and back” (take a 19yo and a 21yo, both with huge unresolved trauma, then wait for the fireworks).
It sounds like you married someone you knew you love! Better than marrying someone who got you pregnant when you were young and your families insisted, or your families insisted on marrying you even before you got pregnant.
literally just today was getting pissed at my friends who were """joking""" about how annoying their wives are and I'm like, wtf my wife rules, if I could be more married to her somehow I would
Every “annoying” thing my wife does just makes me laugh, honestly. Like I may complain about how she tears open boxes like a wolverine but it genuinely makes me crack up *every fucking time*
Spouse and I will be hitting our 20th wedding anniversary this year and I cannot/do not want to imagine life without them. Sounds like you're on a similar track, and I'm delighted for us both.
I honest to God hope not only that you never stop loving each other, but also that you never stop openly talking about how much you love each other bc it genuinely brings so much light into this grim little world and gives me hope I may one day be just as fortunate as you two. Haters be damned.
also in cishet couples i assume it's a lot to do with each being socialized to disdain +belittle the 'opposite sex' +omg it's so deeply weird to covet hate-intimacy but that seems to be at least 80% of cishet relationship lore😬🤢😬
Been with my partner for 35 years (married for 30) and we still adore each other. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t actively choose to be with me each and every day.
this year will be 24 years together for me and @sylph.bsky.social and there's nowhere else i'd rather be right now than on our uncomfortable couch watching her have fun playing persona 3
there's a whole subset of columnists who seem to really hate their partners and it's baffling. "my husband believes the opposite of everything i do and doesn't wipe his ass. here's how we deal" just total alien shit
Every day I wake up next to one of my girlfriends and get to tell them how beautiful they are and how deeply I love them and I feel myself healing inside a little bit more
I think most people settle down too early. Or they just approach things all wrong. I really can't tell. I want to marry my best friend, not my girlfriend. That's the thing.
I know I'm late to this but holy shit, I've been with my wife for 24 years and she is fucking awesome. I can't imagine the despair of being chained to somebody you can't stand.
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I consider more of a steady upward progression with the usual peaks and valleys. Like, I definitely love him more than I did 15 years ago, but last week he was a pretty huge pain in the ass.
Probably spend more time giggling & chasing each other around the room Yosemite Sam & Granny Emma style than arguing.
...????
Fucking chumps, these people.
(Aside: I'm absolutely not the kind of annoying polyamorous person who thinks everyone should be nonmonogamous, but one thing I'll say for CNM is you 100% know people are spending time with you on purpose & because they want to.)
I still adore her.
(one of the finest perks of being gay FWIW)
Breaks my heart sometimes when I can never really be with anyone, but yet some assholes would no doubt get someone nice, I've never understood this!
It’s okay if they fight but I want you to feel the love radiating off of them
There's also a subgenre I think of as Silent Generation authors asking themselves why they had kids.
I replied yes, I am super-married I'm, like, EXTRA married
She said "I guess I thought you weren't married because I never hear you complain about him!"
Feels like bragging