As a parent, wouldn’t you want to know if your child was using different pronouns/names/sexual identity at school? I’m torn on this because I would want my child to know they can count on me to be their ally. How can I do that if I don’t know? That said, I’ll defer to those who have gone through it.
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Some parents are awful. They’re abusive. There are very good reasons to keep secrets from abusive people. Eg. Avoiding abuse.
Sometimes kids do stuff outside if their parents view to work out their feelings
Don’t take offence and keep trying to be one more safe space for them
Did your parents know how your friends were calling you?
Same for pronouns/sexual identity.
(I've got friends, now IRL, who are still using chat nicknames...)
That shit pushed me into the closet for literal decades. So, no. I don't want kids today to go through that.
These laws will kill kids. It’s that simple.
I didn't tell my parents so many things because I did not feel safe sharing that info. If a teacher had outed me it would only teach me I couldn't trust teachers either.
Make sure your children know by your words and actions, and they will come to you.
"Many queer kids have good reasons for not being out to their parents. For those kids, being able to confide in a trusted adult and read relevant books, without their parents' knowledge, is an essential need and right."
"I'd like to know if..." Then make sure your kids know it's safe to tell you stuff like that.
If your kid isn't telling you everything, you've got work to do.
Adults aren't always ready to process something, why expect teens to?
No, the global "you" may not ask me how I know. Or, ask away, but unless I know you, I won't answer.
Whenever someone is going too far. Being mean, rude, or someone feels like it’s not fun anymore - we tell the family member “don’t be an asshole”. They then stop & apologize.
But the foundation is always “don’t be an asshole”. We always love each other. Support each other. That will always be the case.
If you have failed to do so, well that's on you.
Anyway the reason those rules exist is that some parents are bad. This isn't really mysterious.
CIS kids who are not gay or trans are going to get asked if they are, simply because they pick a more gender neutral name. And there's going to be consequences.
That their kids should be obligated to share literally every single thought, action or event in their lives with their parents.
It's super wack....
If they don't trust you, that's a you problem. Not the kid itself.
I trust MY parents because they've never given me the feeling that they'd used whatever I could tell them against me.
But I know many people who have had to hide everything from their mom or dad because ANY statement they'd make or action they took could later be weaponized against them.
I chose to have my own privacy, I did -not- trust my own family for safety reasons, learned that very quickly.
This is for parents who want to punish their kids for not being straight.
LGBTQ youth keep “secrets” like this from parents as a means of safety, usually b/c they don’t feel their parents will react positively. Coming out to family can be a huge, life-changing decision.
So the best you can do as an ally parent is make sure they feel safe to tell you.
If parents want to be on that list, they should demonstrate that they are safe and supportive
Forced disclosure and outting only hurts kids and pushes them deeper in the closet making schools more unsafe
I would think their teacher is a dick for snitching on them.
But then again, I don't hate trans kids.
Not everything needs to be helicopter parented